Where do private schools really get you in life?

[Anonymous]

Smart, hardworking people will do well from any background.

Cream rises to the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a real misconception that people choose or should choose private schools for college acceptances. Choose the school because it’s the kind of secondary education you want your child to have. If you have a good public option, why not take it? Absolutely your child can thrive in either.

We did not have a good public option, so our choices were move or private. Private made sense for us. It sounds like it may not make sense for you

I’m a product of public school. Not ashamed or embarrassed but wanted a better education for my children. My kids are at a top DC private. They are getting a truly outstanding education - something I didn’t have. Most public schools are inferior. No judgment, and it is what it is. Yes, I’d love for them to have a leg up in college admissions but they likely won’t. However, I feel confident that when they are out in the world they will be better educated than about 90-95 percent of the population. It’s already obvious when they around peers that haven’t had the same opportunities. They operate at a different level so for me it’s worth it.

It’s statements like these that keep these discussions going. Public schools in general are not inferior to private, particularly not those in good school districts or notable ranked. Are they different? Yes, but that does not make them inferior. In fact, because of their size and makeup they often teach and require life skills and soft skills that are harder to come by in private. For instance, I find that generally by a huge margin public school kids that are doing well are better able to work with a greater variety of people, better able to advocate for themselves, and generally don’t need as much hand holding. Private school kids of a certain type better understand how to navigate some social and corporate aspects of the world. They also tend to present with a confidence of belonging in a particular place(this can be both good and bad). Overall, I don’t feel academically either is better than the other. Particularly not in ways that are relevant once College and internship are taken into consideration

I’m PP. Your assessment that public and private are generally equal really only applies if you grew up in an area like DC, where lots of wealthy and educated families send their kids to public schools. It’s obvious you grew up in one of these environments. Try leaving the DMV bubble and you’d understand that for 90 percent of the country, public schools are clearly inferior.

I want to add that your other points are well-taken and I agree. In fact, I worry every day that my kids won’t have the same perseverance and grit my DH and I had coming out of public school. But we are both outliers. The reality is that the academics in most public schools vs a top private will never match up. It stinks, but it’s reality.

I'm guessing you're from the South. Correct? I'm from California and has excellent public schools. I have friends who are successful professionals in the DC area who grew up throughout the country and all of them went to public school except those who grew up in the South. Gee, I wonder what that could be about.

My spouse and I both went to public school in the south, and we are both successful, thank you. If you want to quantify it, successful enough to be well known in our fields and to afford 50k private for 3 kids with no family help, own our home, go on trips, etc. sure though, the south can’t produce successful people in public schools... impossible.

[Anonymous]

Congrats, OP. You have reached enlightenment. None of it really matters...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a thought: CVs for everything from jobs to residencies are screened by computers today and even better AI tools tomorrow. Maybe it gets more nuanced, but it’s likely to rely on the brand more and more making fewer and fewer more and more privileged. We are at Big 3 and went to a Big 3 type college. It’s a self-reinforcing value proposition. We went into this big public school proponents, and ended up choosing the best of the best. One other thing, once you are on track it’s easier to stay tracking. What I worry about is making sure my child’s happy! They seem to enjoy Big 3 way better than anything else they tried including DCPS; in fact love it. Ivies are not our goal; we feel we bought them space to be creative but they seem to self-motivate. My inner fight deep down is not Big 3 or cut price or public school? That’s kind of obvious. It’s formal education as we know it or something more progressive for our (collective our) talented children

Emphatically agree with last line. schools for our (yes, collective our) need to be orders of magnitude different than they are now. I hope that having opted your kids out of public school you can find ways to advocate for better, more interesting, more effective alternatives for ALL kids...

Oh my, we try. We’ll try harder, for all the kids, and especially public schools which should become the gold standard again. The biggest obstacle in our Big 3? Other parents. Most appear to not see anything but the Harvard Quad in front; all else — happiness of the children or future of the mankind, pales in comparison. Not an obstacle because we then feel we must do the same, really don’t care although likely could end up there, but we literally get blocked abd drowned out on less homework, more free time, more arts etc. It’s barbaric and pedestrian, quite frankly, what many/most think matters today.

[Anonymous]

Especially given the most desired professions noted by many of these parents will be done by AI within a decade

[Anonymous]

Final thought: let the Big 3 admin do their jobs. They are way more thoughtful about the children than many of their loud parents (more math! less free time!). I love the legacy of liberal thought these schools bestow upon our children. Kudos to the staff and admin who care about the children first and foremost

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Final thought: let the Big 3 admin do their jobs. They are way more thoughtful about the children than many of their loud parents (more math! less free time!). I love the legacy of liberal thought these schools bestow upon our children. Kudos to the staff and admin who care about the children first and foremost

I’m not sure how much of this is genuine, how much is satire, and how much is genuine satire

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a real misconception that people choose or should choose private schools for college acceptances. Choose the school because it’s the kind of secondary education you want your child to have. If you have a good public option, why not take it? Absolutely your child can thrive in either.

We did not have a good public option, so our choices were move or private. Private made sense for us. It sounds like it may not make sense for you

I’m a product of public school. Not ashamed or embarrassed but wanted a better education for my children. My kids are at a top DC private. They are getting a truly outstanding education - something I didn’t have. Most public schools are inferior. No judgment, and it is what it is. Yes, I’d love for them to have a leg up in college admissions but they likely won’t. However, I feel confident that when they are out in the world they will be better educated than about 90-95 percent of the population. It’s already obvious when they around peers that haven’t had the same opportunities. They operate at a different level so for me it’s worth it.

It’s statements like these that keep these discussions going. Public schools in general are not inferior to private, particularly not those in good school districts or notable ranked. Are they different? Yes, but that does not make them inferior. In fact, because of their size and makeup they often teach and require life skills and soft skills that are harder to come by in private. For instance, I find that generally by a huge margin public school kids that are doing well are better able to work with a greater variety of people, better able to advocate for themselves, and generally don’t need as much hand holding. Private school kids of a certain type better understand how to navigate some social and corporate aspects of the world. They also tend to present with a confidence of belonging in a particular place(this can be both good and bad). Overall, I don’t feel academically either is better than the other. Particularly not in ways that are relevant once College and internship are taken into consideration

I’m PP. Your assessment that public and private are generally equal really only applies if you grew up in an area like DC, where lots of wealthy and educated families send their kids to public schools. It’s obvious you grew up in one of these environments. Try leaving the DMV bubble and you’d understand that for 90 percent of the country, public schools are clearly inferior.

I want to add that your other points are well-taken and I agree. In fact, I worry every day that my kids won’t have the same perseverance and grit my DH and I had coming out of public school. But we are both outliers. The reality is that the academics in most public schools vs a top private will never match up. It stinks, but it’s reality.

I'm guessing you're from the South. Correct? I'm from California and has excellent public schools. I have friends who are successful professionals in the DC area who grew up throughout the country and all of them went to public school except those who grew up in the South. Gee, I wonder what that could be about.

My spouse and I both went to public school in the south, and we are both successful, thank you. If you want to quantify it, successful enough to be well known in our fields and to afford 50k private for 3 kids with no family help, own our home, go on trips, etc. sure though, the south can’t produce successful people in public schools... impossible.

I think you somewhat missed the pp’s point. S/he appeared to be noting that a disproportionate number of white people who consider public schools non-starters hail from the south—not because public schools actually ARE bad (to the contrary she appears to be a fan) but because racism. In any case the south absolutely can produce awesome public school grads. I don’t know what your racial background is but kudos to your parents and your in-laws for sending their kids to public schools an kudos to you and your husband for your achievements....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Final thought: let the Big 3 admin do their jobs. They are way more thoughtful about the children than many of their loud parents (more math! less free time!). I love the legacy of liberal thought these schools bestow upon our children. Kudos to the staff and admin who care about the children first and foremost

I’m not sure how much of this is genuine, how much is satire, and how much is genuine satire

Pretty sure she is dead serious 🤦‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Instead of face planting emoji perhaps explain why you disagree? Using words. It’s true that computing will obviate many jobs people are vying for their children to get in exchange for best education private school and colleges have to offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Final thought: let the Big 3 admin do their jobs. They are way more thoughtful about the children than many of their loud parents (more math! less free time!). I love the legacy of liberal thought these schools bestow upon our children. Kudos to the staff and admin who care about the children first and foremost

I’m not sure how much of this is genuine, how much is satire, and how much is genuine satire

Why?

[Anonymous]

One thought regarding OP's question, is just how long life will be for children born today (or in the last few years). There are a few doctors making the case that a baby born today will have a life expectancy of between 100 and 150 years. If this is proven true it follows that instead of the 40 to 50 year working career that most of us are experiencing, our children will be productive workers for several decades longer, perhaps 60 to 80 years. Hence the quality of education becomes even more important.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in this area and went to public schools and a top public university in VA.

I work in the federal government and colleagues have similar backgrounds or have even acted semi-embarrassed if they grew up locally and attended a top private HS. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, but I've seen several people act that way once we put it together we are all local.

For my own family, I personally cannot imagine sacrificing to pay for a high priced private school on our 300k hi, or 350 or 400 or 450 even. I just could not feel financially secure that way. I have a 400k mortgage on 1.2m home, no other debt, and one kid and I just couldn't personally.

Jimmy Carter was a famous historical figure who tried to send his child to DCPS in the 1970's and that was a poor decision. His child needed to go to a private school to be surrounded by similarly wealthy kids. I also know from a local activity I do one family that was fabulously wealthy - would not be obvious at first from something they said, but they are. In that case it made perfect sense to send their kids to what is now a 50k per year school so they wouldnt be so isolated in their (great area!) local public HS, and they can afford it, unlike a family making 300k.

There are definitely advantages some kids get if their parents have more money, but they would have those advantages regardless. A college classmate attended top private schools in this area; not a top student, but his parents paid for him to do a biology MA at Harvard to bolster his application to med school. Now he is a doctor. I know many other stories like this from college classmates. I did not have that option.

For my own kid however, it's clear - our public school pyramid is great and we are able to put money into maximizing savings and investments for the future. We aren't outliers or lowest or highest in our good area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thought regarding OP's question, is just how long life will be for children born today (or in the last few years). There are a few doctors making the case that a baby born today will have a life expectancy of between 100 and 150 years. If this is proven true it follows that instead of the 40 to 50 year working career that most of us are experiencing, our children will be productive workers for several decades longer, perhaps 60 to 80 years. Hence the quality of education becomes even more important.

Yes, op. This seems to be the very very top thing to consider.

[Anonymous]

IMHO, the private is worth it if it provides the atmosphere where your child is most likely to be their best self. A private will not magically get your kid into a top college. It may encourage them to participate more, speak up, get involved in
school, study harder, be more accountable, etc which are skills that will benefit them for the the college applications process and beyond. If your child is the type to do this at a public then private is probability not worth it.