SAHMs of children entering school age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH likes status quo. I’m not working right now, so he wants me to continue not working.
If I were working, he would want me to keep working.

He also doesn’t understand any of my angst about it or why it feels like a big decision.

Who cares what your husband wants? What do you want? It is 2020 and women should be able to financially take care of themselves. Actually they should have been able to at year 1995+.

I care what he thinks because he is my partner in this weird non-profit we have started that sucks up all of our time and resources. He is also my best friend.
Why do you hate men so much?

NP. Your post was all about what your husband wanted, which I'm guessing is what PP was picking up one. It would one thing to say I want X and my husband also wants X. But you just said my husband wants X, without any input as to what you want. Do you really not see that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love SAH. That is why I do it. I don’t have some political motive. It makes me happy. The end.

Livin in Lala land. You will be surprised by a rude awakening. Good luck!

Not PP. You seem emotionally invested in the idea that a SAHM can't be or remain happy.

It’s just jealousy. Not necessarily about the staying home part. Just the happy and content part. Misery loves company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP. I don’t think every woman should work, but I hate the dynamic of SAHM who takes care of everything so that their DH can do nothing but work. Several friends had to work under bosses like these who required useless FT and discouraged flexibility (because they never needed it themselves) and it was hellish. Definitely causes inequality in the workplace.

How interesting that the really bad bosses aren't held responsible for their bad management skills, but instead other women who are not even working are to blame for their bad behavior.

Women who never even met these asshole bosses are to blame for their shit.

Until we start holding bad bosses responsible for their own actions, NOTHING WILL CHANGE.

Poor victimized male bosses who can't even be held responsible for their decisions... Let's go right back to Eve and the apple, shall we? Poor victimized men.

Exactly. It's not the boss...it's his wife. Sure!

Yes, because the wife, by giving up and staying home, enables her DH to be an asshole. If she gave him equal responsibilities of home and kids, he would have empathy for other working parents.

No it enables her DH to be a super employee that gets all the promotions and raises at work and brings in more money for their family. Why should they care about having empathy for other families that have both parents working? It’s their personal choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH likes status quo. I’m not working right now, so he wants me to continue not working.
If I were working, he would want me to keep working.

He also doesn’t understand any of my angst about it or why it feels like a big decision.

Who cares what your husband wants? What do you want? It is 2020 and women should be able to financially take care of themselves. Actually they should have been able to at year 1995+.

I care what he thinks because he is my partner in this weird non-profit we have started that sucks up all of our time and resources. He is also my best friend.
Why do you hate men so much?

NP. Your post was all about what your husband wanted, which I'm guessing is what PP was picking up one. It would one thing to say I want X and my husband also wants X. But you just said my husband wants X, without any input as to what you want. Do you really not see that?

Yeah. I had three minutes to come up with a response and type it out. It's a message board. She asked if I plan to go back and what my husband thought about it. I am not sure about whether or not to go back (hence the angst), and my husband doesn't have a strong opinion. I elaborated on his opinion a little more than mine only because I think it's worth seeking out why your husband has the opinion that he does and how strong it is rather than just accepting it for what it is. If your husband wants you to SAH because he feels very strongly about it, you discussed it before marriage, and your entire social group is built on SAH wives and WOH dads, then it might be a big issue if you want to go to work. If your husband wants you to SAH because he is happy now and doesn't want to disrupt it, then that's more easily overcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH likes status quo. I’m not working right now, so he wants me to continue not working.
If I were working, he would want me to keep working.

He also doesn’t understand any of my angst about it or why it feels like a big decision.

Who cares what your husband wants? What do you want? It is 2020 and women should be able to financially take care of themselves. Actually they should have been able to at year 1995+.

I care what he thinks because he is my partner in this weird non-profit we have started that sucks up all of our time and resources. He is also my best friend.
Why do you hate men so much?

NP. Your post was all about what your husband wanted, which I'm guessing is what PP was picking up one. It would one thing to say I want X and my husband also wants X. But you just said my husband wants X, without any input as to what you want. Do you really not see that?

Yeah. I had three minutes to come up with a response and type it out. It's a message board. She asked if I plan to go back and what my husband thought about it. I am not sure about whether or not to go back (hence the angst), and my husband doesn't have a strong opinion. I elaborated on his opinion a little more than mine only because I think it's worth seeking out why your husband has the opinion that he does and how strong it is rather than just accepting it for what it is. If your husband wants you to SAH because he feels very strongly about it, you discussed it before marriage, and your entire social group is built on SAH wives and WOH dads, then it might be a big issue if you want to go to work. If your husband wants you to SAH because he is happy now and doesn't want to disrupt it, then that's more easily overcome.

Ok, my point was that you jumped to PP hating men (?!?) because she asked why you cared what your husband wants because that was the only thing you posted about. My point was that you jumped to a seriously weird conclusion about the PP who responded to you based on what you wrote instead of acting like a grownup and thinking about why she might have thought that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH likes status quo. I’m not working right now, so he wants me to continue not working.
If I were working, he would want me to keep working.

He also doesn’t understand any of my angst about it or why it feels like a big decision.

Who cares what your husband wants? What do you want? It is 2020 and women should be able to financially take care of themselves. Actually they should have been able to at year 1995+.

I care what he thinks because he is my partner in this weird non-profit we have started that sucks up all of our time and resources. He is also my best friend.
Why do you hate men so much?

NP. Your post was all about what your husband wanted, which I'm guessing is what PP was picking up one. It would one thing to say I want X and my husband also wants X. But you just said my husband wants X, without any input as to what you want. Do you really not see that?

Yeah. I had three minutes to come up with a response and type it out. It's a message board. She asked if I plan to go back and what my husband thought about it. I am not sure about whether or not to go back (hence the angst), and my husband doesn't have a strong opinion. I elaborated on his opinion a little more than mine only because I think it's worth seeking out why your husband has the opinion that he does and how strong it is rather than just accepting it for what it is. If your husband wants you to SAH because he feels very strongly about it, you discussed it before marriage, and your entire social group is built on SAH wives and WOH dads, then it might be a big issue if you want to go to work. If your husband wants you to SAH because he is happy now and doesn't want to disrupt it, then that's more easily overcome.

Ok, my point was that you jumped to PP hating men (?!?) because she asked why you cared what your husband wants because that was the only thing you posted about. My point was that you jumped to a seriously weird conclusion about the PP who responded to you based on what you wrote instead of acting like a grownup and thinking about why she might have thought that way.

Ehh...asking a woman why she would care about her husband or what he wants is a man-hating comment. At the very least, it certainly isn’t meant to be kind. I’m not really even sure how it could be neutral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NP. I don’t think every woman should work, but I hate the dynamic of SAHM who takes care of everything so that their DH can do nothing but work. Several friends had to work under bosses like these who required useless FT and discouraged flexibility (because they never needed it themselves) and it was hellish. Definitely causes inequality in the workplace.

How interesting that the really bad bosses aren't held responsible for their bad management skills, but instead other women who are not even working are to blame for their bad behavior.

Women who never even met these asshole bosses are to blame for their shit.

Until we start holding bad bosses responsible for their own actions, NOTHING WILL CHANGE.

Poor victimized male bosses who can't even be held responsible for their decisions... Let's go right back to Eve and the apple, shall we? Poor victimized men.

Exactly. It's not the boss...it's his wife. Sure!

Yes, because the wife, by giving up and staying home, enables her DH to be an asshole. If she gave him equal responsibilities of home and kids, he would have empathy for other working parents.

No it enables her DH to be a super employee that gets all the promotions and raises at work and brings in more money for their family. Why should they care about having empathy for other families that have both parents working? It’s their personal choice.

Again, that’s the problem... the perception that you have to be a workaholic to get ahead in your career. It’s not good for society to have workaholic parents who are checked out from family life. Balance is key, for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH likes status quo. I’m not working right now, so he wants me to continue not working.
If I were working, he would want me to keep working.

He also doesn’t understand any of my angst about it or why it feels like a big decision.

It's really not a big decision, because you can always change your mind. The decision you make right now or for the next 2, 4, 10 years doesn't have to be the same or forever. Do what feels right to you.