SAHMs of children entering school age

[Anonymous]

If your youngest is getting close to going to school full time (once covid restrictions lift), do you plan to go back to work at some point? Does your DH express an opinion one way or the other?

[Anonymous]

DH likes status quo. I’m not working right now, so he wants me to continue not working.
If I were working, he would want me to keep working.

He also doesn’t understand any of my angst about it or why it feels like a big decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH likes status quo. I’m not working right now, so he wants me to continue not working.
If I were working, he would want me to keep working.

He also doesn’t understand any of my angst about it or why it feels like a big decision.

Ha! This is my DH exactly.

[Anonymous]

I was working when my kids were in daycare... came home when they were all in school. I found the demands of having school-age kids (homework, school closures, activities) to be more demanding and less out-source-able than the demands of having younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was working when my kids were in daycare... came home when they were all in school. I found the demands of having school-age kids (homework, school closures, activities) to be more demanding and less out-source-able than the demands of having younger kids.

Serious question from someone with younger kids...how does that work. Once they are at school 6-7 hours a day, how is that busier. Isn't all that stuff concentrated into after school (late afternoon, evening, weekends)? I was looking forward to having more energy, not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was working when my kids were in daycare... came home when they were all in school. I found the demands of having school-age kids (homework, school closures, activities) to be more demanding and less out-source-able than the demands of having younger kids.

Serious question from someone with younger kids...how does that work. Once they are at school 6-7 hours a day, how is that busier. Isn't all that stuff concentrated into after school (late afternoon, evening, weekends)? I was looking forward to having more energy, not less.

DP. It is easier when they are in school, but it’s harder to outsource the demands that are there.

I will warn you that you don’t end up with as much time as you think you will. You don’t realize how much housework, errands, etc you do with kids when they are home. I was surprised how much I really missed my youngest when he went to school. Folding laundry whole chattering and playing play dough is a lot more fun than folding laundry alone.

On the plus side, the days my DH also had off when the kids were in school were the best.

[Anonymous]

I do not plan on going back to work. DH supports this. We'd rather scale back on lifestyle than me return to work because my job was time-intensive and didn't pay enough to warrant the stress it caused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not plan on going back to work. DH supports this. We'd rather scale back on lifestyle than me return to work because my job was time-intensive and didn't pay enough to warrant the stress it caused.

+1 this is us too.

[Anonymous]

I was at home until my kids were in kindergarten and 2nd grade. Started job search when school started an found a job in a few months. DH was happy to have me go back to work although he was also 100% in favor of a parent being home when the kids were little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was working when my kids were in daycare... came home when they were all in school. I found the demands of having school-age kids (homework, school closures, activities) to be more demanding and less out-source-able than the demands of having younger kids.

Serious question from someone with younger kids...how does that work. Once they are at school 6-7 hours a day, how is that busier. Isn't all that stuff concentrated into after school (late afternoon, evening, weekends)? I was looking forward to having more energy, not less.

They are more likely to have activities that need driving to after school, schools close more often than most daycares do (random holidays, teacher workdays), they need help with homework and projects. None of this makes working impossible, but the logistics get more difficult.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go back unless my DH was really on board. I’m not interested in working a second shift.

[Anonymous]

Found it much harder once they reached school age. The homework and After school activities were exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was working when my kids were in daycare... came home when they were all in school. I found the demands of having school-age kids (homework, school closures, activities) to be more demanding and less out-source-able than the demands of having younger kids.

Serious question from someone with younger kids...how does that work. Once they are at school 6-7 hours a day, how is that busier. Isn't all that stuff concentrated into after school (late afternoon, evening, weekends)? I was looking forward to having more energy, not less.

IF you live somewhere where kids can get themselves to after school activities and your kids are independent and in a good mood after school, do their homework with minimal intervention, etc, can get themselves to appts like orthodontist, then sure.

My kids can't get themselves to their activities until middle school (and only because we moved to a small, bikeable town when odc was in middle school) and my kids have ADHD. They are exhausted and emotional wrecks after school from keeping it together during the school day.

When school is closed now, or they have half days, if they fall on the same schedule I could leave ydc home alone with odc, but usually the schedules don't match up every time.

I worked when they were babies and it was so much easier. Childcare was open all the time - there were like 4 closed days per year, New Years Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas. And they were safe and with people I trusted for 9 hrs a day.

If you have a nanny or au pair that can drive your kids to activities, supervise homework, take them to appts then it is not the same at all as trying to cobble together after care, do the activities and try to cook/serve dinner and supervise homework.

I have done all combinations of working/SAH and it really just comes down to your resources, your kids' activities and homework demands and your kids' dispositions.

i'm not working now and tbh dh does not want me to go back to work. He says the stress on everyone is not worth it.

[Anonymous]

We like the balance we have right now and don't plan to change it. It really works for all of us. If it ain't broke...

We always touch base though to make sure it still works.

[Anonymous]

This year younger kid was supposed to be my return to the workforce. Younger kid is starting k. I’m not even bothering to look right now.