How many people are actually having affairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not me and if my husband is I will kill him because there is no way he can complain about a lack of affection.

Same here, but I wouldn't be able to divorce. At the age it would seriously impact our future retirement.

I'd put a stop to it like my friend did, then smile while secretly hating him. Not everyone can afford to divorce especially now.

I could afford to divorce because my half would be more than enough to live on and large enough to attract enough hot moths to the flame! We’ve been married 34 years and yesterday I initiated and left him exhausted which is pretty impressive at my age. My husband might wish for someone with a harder body but he has no reason to wander at this point in his life.

That's not why people cheat. My friend had plenty of sex with her husband. He met someone and started cheating on her. No there aren't any hot moths over 55, lol. Mainly a lot of baggage and money and health issues. After lawyers it's still a divided by 2 portion which will impact most peoples lifestyle.

Lack of sex certainly is the main reason why MEN cheat for sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A group of 6 (4 dudes 2 chicks) of us from College still keep in touch and hang out with each other’s families and children. I am one of the chicks, were all mid 30s and all 4 of the guys cheat on their wives. They discuss it openly amongst us, and they’ve done it many times not just with one AP. It’s awful but it’s not my place to say anything, and their spouses are so “my husband is perfect” they would never believe it. It’s weird hanging out with them while feeling sorry for them that they actually have no idea the person they married.

So what if you found out that your husband has been cheating for a while and all of his friends knew? Would you have wanted someone to tell you?

Of COURSE?!!!!

Who wants to find out in year 3 or 4 when somebody could have told them at month 2-3 before things were too far gone.

Also—these losers are having unprotected sex and then going back and screwing their spouses. That is CRIMINAL.

The husband who has these worthless friends is also cheating, or cheated. First I would contact the wives or at least anonymously. Secondly I would be checking up on my husband and finally he would need to get new friends. I couldn't respect my spouse if all his friends were dirt bags. There's a reason he's friends with them.

If he has a Google account one of my friends checks up on her husband who cheated. She puts in myactivity.google.com on the computer and can see his whereabouts. She makes sure his location is on, and to date he hasn't figured it out. I feel like everyone should spot check their spouse. If you're not doing wrong then you shouldn't care imo. Of course I wouldn't tell them either. Getting a serious disease is criminal.

You realise that tracking your partners whereabouts continuously amounts to domestic abuse.

[Anonymous]

^ so is having unprotected as with others outside of the marriage. So is gaslighting and lying. FFS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ so is having unprotected as with others outside of the marriage. So is gaslighting and lying. FFS

*unprotected sex with others and then still screwing your spouse. Lying, gaslighting, adultery are all forms of domestic abuse. But opening the marriage and screwing a spouse that has no ideas your d@ck or cooch is with strangers or others outside the marriage borders on criminal. Giving certain STDs is a death sentence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ so is having unprotected as with others outside of the marriage. So is gaslighting and lying. FFS

*unprotected sex with others and then still screwing your spouse. Lying, gaslighting, adultery are all forms of domestic abuse. But opening the marriage and screwing a spouse that has no ideas your d@ck or cooch is with strangers or others outside the marriage borders on criminal. Giving certain STDs is a death sentence.

But why would you stay with someone like that and start tracking their every move? It seems insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ so is having unprotected as with others outside of the marriage. So is gaslighting and lying. FFS

*unprotected sex with others and then still screwing your spouse. Lying, gaslighting, adultery are all forms of domestic abuse. But opening the marriage and screwing a spouse that has no ideas your d@ck or cooch is with strangers or others outside the marriage borders on criminal. Giving certain STDs is a death sentence.

But why would you stay with someone like that and start tracking their every move? It seems insane.

I agree. It is abuse. It’s no way to live.

I know a woman that brings men she meets on Ashley Madison inside the family home to f@ck.

I also don’t get how you can live that way. Risk your husband or teen boys discovering you.

Affairs are sick. Get a divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ so is having unprotected as with others outside of the marriage. So is gaslighting and lying. FFS

*unprotected sex with others and then still screwing your spouse. Lying, gaslighting, adultery are all forms of domestic abuse. But opening the marriage and screwing a spouse that has no ideas your d@ck or cooch is with strangers or others outside the marriage borders on criminal. Giving certain STDs is a death sentence.

But why would you stay with someone like that and start tracking their every move? It seems insane.

I agree. It is abuse. It’s no way to live.

I know a woman that brings men she meets on Ashley Madison inside the family home to f@ck.

I also don’t get how you can live that way. Risk your husband or teen boys discovering you.

Affairs are sick. Get a divorce

Sick

[Anonymous]

^What’s sick is people bring this up in individual therapy and the therapist does not address the risk or the STDs or the health of the partner. They just discuss the cheater’s thoughts and feelings. No push to do the ethical thing to tell the spouse, come clean, even when it’s clear the double life is the source is many problems in the person’s psyche: anger, anxiety, etc. at the very least, the therapist should have an ethical reason to require an unknowing spouse be informed their health is in danger due to the unprotected sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ so is having unprotected as with others outside of the marriage. So is gaslighting and lying. FFS

*unprotected sex with others and then still screwing your spouse. Lying, gaslighting, adultery are all forms of domestic abuse. But opening the marriage and screwing a spouse that has no ideas your d@ck or cooch is with strangers or others outside the marriage borders on criminal. Giving certain STDs is a death sentence.

But why would you stay with someone like that and start tracking their every move? It seems insane.

Why would someone stay and cheat on their spouse? That's the insane one right there. Don't blame the victim.

If the other spouse agrees to stay married spot checks are in order. They are the ones that lost the trust, can't complain going forward if their spouse checks up on them. They should be thankful they were given another chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A group of 6 (4 dudes 2 chicks) of us from College still keep in touch and hang out with each other’s families and children. I am one of the chicks, were all mid 30s and all 4 of the guys cheat on their wives. They discuss it openly amongst us, and they’ve done it many times not just with one AP. It’s awful but it’s not my place to say anything, and their spouses are so “my husband is perfect” they would never believe it. It’s weird hanging out with them while feeling sorry for them that they actually have no idea the person they married.

So what if you found out that your husband has been cheating for a while and all of his friends knew? Would you have wanted someone to tell you?

Of COURSE?!!!!

Who wants to find out in year 3 or 4 when somebody could have told them at month 2-3 before things were too far gone.

Also—these losers are having unprotected sex and then going back and screwing their spouses. That is CRIMINAL.

The husband who has these worthless friends is also cheating, or cheated. First I would contact the wives or at least anonymously. Secondly I would be checking up on my husband and finally he would need to get new friends. I couldn't respect my spouse if all his friends were dirt bags. There's a reason he's friends with them.

If he has a Google account one of my friends checks up on her husband who cheated. She puts in myactivity.google.com on the computer and can see his whereabouts. She makes sure his location is on, and to date he hasn't figured it out. I feel like everyone should spot check their spouse. If you're not doing wrong then you shouldn't care imo. Of course I wouldn't tell them either. Getting a serious disease is criminal.

You realise that tracking your partners whereabouts continuously amounts to domestic abuse.

Not the previous poster but I'll answer for her. Tough titties. When I didn't trust my W it was some time before I found out about that Google link. Thankfully she had tracking turned on and I was able to look back over a year. It showed everywhere she had been and exactly what time. Better than that, it saved every single one of her talk-to-text messages. It provides the written script, or I could listen to her as it saved the recording. And she always uses talk-to-text while driving. It was only her end of the conversation but that was plenty. When I started confronting her about things, she had no idea how I got my very specific information. I watched in near real time (it's a few minutes delayed) as she left work one time after telling me she had to stay late a few hours. Tracked her to another address where she spent a few hours, then all the way home. I watched her as she looked right on my face and lied, over and over before I confronted her with exactly what I knew including times and places. She STILL denied it.

It's not, "domestic abuse" and every Fing thing you don't like is not abuse. I do strongly believe a spouse is entitled to their privacy but, if you lie to me, I'll do anything and everything I can to find out the truth on my own and you forfeit your privacy. The best thing about this is, it wasn't me tracking her. She allowed Google to track her. I just accessed the logs. She even went to the phone store when she thought I'd put a tracking device on her phone, and they cleaned it and installed a program that blocks those devices. Makes no difference when you allow Google to track you, which it does by default.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been in the game for over a decade and I can spot a married women who cheats or is open to it within ten minutes of talking to her. I'd say the percent who have or are willing is about 20%. Probably the same for men. There have never been a shortage of available cheating wives. Most of my affairs have been short lived except this current one which has gone on for 4 years.

How can you tell? That is so fascinating. Do they show they are interested in you? I could never guess. I see people that continue to focus on their looks and fitness well into middle age and I wonder. I figure someone who is moving comfortably into their 40s without worrying about how they look and figure they probably aren’t candidates.

It's hard to pin down. Even if they aren't interested in me, I can just "tell" who is open to it. There is a certain spark in their eye, way of talking, body language, and just...something they give off that is so different from a woman who has no interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^What’s sick is people bring this up in individual therapy and the therapist does not address the risk or the STDs or the health of the partner. They just discuss the cheater’s thoughts and feelings. No push to do the ethical thing to tell the spouse, come clean, even when it’s clear the double life is the source is many problems in the person’s psyche: anger, anxiety, etc. at the very least, the therapist should have an ethical reason to require an unknowing spouse be informed their health is in danger due to the unprotected sex.

I’m addition to being livid at OW and my husband, I am absolutely livid at his shitty therapist. He went in 6 months on his own initiative (severe stress, drinking more, etc) before he ended the affair (I never knew about it when it was going on) because he needed help with anger, with repressed childhood abuse/abandonment and the stress of what he was doing. He told the therapist about the affair by session 3. He conveyed he didn’t love her and spoke highly of me. Not once did therapist provide any suggestion that his increase in drinking and anger were related to the 4-year affair. Not once did she ask about safety—my health, his family’s, etc. At 6 months, thus dumb bitch hadn’t had him psychologically tested or even asked about his childhood. She gave techniques for managing anger completely ignoring the whore elephant in the room who was a borderline passive aggressive personality contributing majorly to all of these issues. Husband had an episode- blew up, ended affair himself. I find out after the fact.

What a waste of f@cking $ that therapist was and her “assumption” of his issues/mental health were 100% wrong as revealed by testing/evaluation by two different psychiatrists.

Do not use and therapist under 45 for anything to do with marriage/infidelity, etc. Zero morals. A.G., you should use your license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^What’s sick is people bring this up in individual therapy and the therapist does not address the risk or the STDs or the health of the partner. They just discuss the cheater’s thoughts and feelings. No push to do the ethical thing to tell the spouse, come clean, even when it’s clear the double life is the source is many problems in the person’s psyche: anger, anxiety, etc. at the very least, the therapist should have an ethical reason to require an unknowing spouse be informed their health is in danger due to the unprotected sex.

I’m addition to being livid at OW and my husband, I am absolutely livid at his shitty therapist. He went in 6 months on his own initiative (severe stress, drinking more, etc) before he ended the affair (I never knew about it when it was going on) because he needed help with anger, with repressed childhood abuse/abandonment and the stress of what he was doing. He told the therapist about the affair by session 3. He conveyed he didn’t love her and spoke highly of me. Not once did therapist provide any suggestion that his increase in drinking and anger were related to the 4-year affair. Not once did she ask about safety—my health, his family’s, etc. At 6 months, thus dumb bitch hadn’t had him psychologically tested or even asked about his childhood. She gave techniques for managing anger completely ignoring the whore elephant in the room who was a borderline passive aggressive personality contributing majorly to all of these issues. Husband had an episode- blew up, ended affair himself. I find out after the fact.

What a waste of f@cking $ that therapist was and her “assumption” of his issues/mental health were 100% wrong as revealed by testing/evaluation by two different psychiatrists.

Do not use and therapist under 45 for anything to do with marriage/infidelity, etc. Zero morals. A.G., you should use your license.

Sounds like she was under a 'narcissists' spell...I'm against cheater men with female therapists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A group of 6 (4 dudes 2 chicks) of us from College still keep in touch and hang out with each other’s families and children. I am one of the chicks, were all mid 30s and all 4 of the guys cheat on their wives. They discuss it openly amongst us, and they’ve done it many times not just with one AP. It’s awful but it’s not my place to say anything, and their spouses are so “my husband is perfect” they would never believe it. It’s weird hanging out with them while feeling sorry for them that they actually have no idea the person they married.

So what if you found out that your husband has been cheating for a while and all of his friends knew? Would you have wanted someone to tell you?

Of COURSE?!!!!

Who wants to find out in year 3 or 4 when somebody could have told them at month 2-3 before things were too far gone.

Also—these losers are having unprotected sex and then going back and screwing their spouses. That is CRIMINAL.

The husband who has these worthless friends is also cheating, or cheated. First I would contact the wives or at least anonymously. Secondly I would be checking up on my husband and finally he would need to get new friends. I couldn't respect my spouse if all his friends were dirt bags. There's a reason he's friends with them.

If he has a Google account one of my friends checks up on her husband who cheated. She puts in myactivity.google.com on the computer and can see his whereabouts. She makes sure his location is on, and to date he hasn't figured it out. I feel like everyone should spot check their spouse. If you're not doing wrong then you shouldn't care imo. Of course I wouldn't tell them either. Getting a serious disease is criminal.

You realise that tracking your partners whereabouts continuously amounts to domestic abuse.

Nope. It's called accountability and proving they have changed. The cheater is actually the abuser, not the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A group of 6 (4 dudes 2 chicks) of us from College still keep in touch and hang out with each other’s families and children. I am one of the chicks, were all mid 30s and all 4 of the guys cheat on their wives. They discuss it openly amongst us, and they’ve done it many times not just with one AP. It’s awful but it’s not my place to say anything, and their spouses are so “my husband is perfect” they would never believe it. It’s weird hanging out with them while feeling sorry for them that they actually have no idea the person they married.

So what if you found out that your husband has been cheating for a while and all of his friends knew? Would you have wanted someone to tell you?

Of COURSE?!!!!

Who wants to find out in year 3 or 4 when somebody could have told them at month 2-3 before things were too far gone.

Also—these losers are having unprotected sex and then going back and screwing their spouses. That is CRIMINAL.

The husband who has these worthless friends is also cheating, or cheated. First I would contact the wives or at least anonymously. Secondly I would be checking up on my husband and finally he would need to get new friends. I couldn't respect my spouse if all his friends were dirt bags. There's a reason he's friends with them.

If he has a Google account one of my friends checks up on her husband who cheated. She puts in myactivity.google.com on the computer and can see his whereabouts. She makes sure his location is on, and to date he hasn't figured it out. I feel like everyone should spot check their spouse. If you're not doing wrong then you shouldn't care imo. Of course I wouldn't tell them either. Getting a serious disease is criminal.

You realise that tracking your partners whereabouts continuously amounts to domestic abuse.

Nope. It's called accountability and proving they have changed. The cheater is actually the abuser, not the victim.

I wouldn't even call it accountability. I'd call it counterfeit. If you gotta go thru those extremes to feel a sense of comfort then you don't trust your partner - period.