How many people are actually having affairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one in my immediate circle of friends. There are no conferences/work dinners/regular travel that could facilitate things.

They do it DURING work hours. My husband never traveled or stayed late at work. Zero suspicion. Nobody expected he was capable of something like this. Master of deceit. Some whore at her house around lunch time on Fridays. Even knew how to hack his iPhone Locator to make it appear he was somewhere else. They met on the Internet. But, I have heard of similar arrangements with co-workers.

And you do not know what is going on in anyone else’s marriage. Most people won’t tell you this happened, especially if kids are involved.

This! I had an affair w/ an old boyfriend. He owns his own company, very busy and we met during the day. Trust me, if someone wants to have an affair bad enough, they will.

Truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The millennial therapists have a much more fluid definition of marriage and monogamy. They have been very different from the older therapists. The ones with 20+ years themselves under their belt and raised in a time where marriage and family were a sanctity counsel very differently. Now everything is open marriages and polygamy and not taking any moral view whatsoever.

We understand that you have been traumatized by your situation, and it sounds like your DH's therapist had no real experience in dealing with infidelity. You still need to stop with the generalizations/stereotypes and bright-line rules, because you are undermining your own position. You don't have to be married for 20 years to understand the importance of transparency and honesty. You are understandably bitter, but need to have better perspective or risk being disregarded as simply a scorned spouse with an agenda.

NP. I’m a millennial and I agree with her general sentiment.

Me too. 100% That was a therapist responding. You can tell by the language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do not use and therapist under 45 for anything to do with marriage/infidelity, etc. Zero morals. A.G., you should use your license.

I agree that therapists not used to dealing with infidelity can actually do a lot of harm, but think your age rule is arbitrary and nonsensical. People who are cheating/have cheated need therapists trained in helping the cheater deal with the causes of the behavior and how to fix it. That has to include the cheater being completely honest with himself/herself and spouse. The secrets have to be erased.

The millennial therapists have a much more fluid definition of marriage and monogamy. They have been very different from the older therapists. The ones with 20+ years themselves under their belt and raised in a time where marriage and family were a sanctity counsel very differently. Now everything is open marriages and polygamy and not taking any moral view whatsoever.

I don't think it is the therapists or their age, so much, but how lines have blurred in society. For example, churches used to be sacred space, now they are doing yoga and hosting prom in the National Cathedral. There are few things considered "sacred" anymore, it is not only marriage affected.

[Anonymous]

Me too. 100% That was a therapist responding. You can tell by the language.

That made me laugh, so thanks. I’m actually not a therapist and have never even been to therapy. If I did need a therapist, though, my screening questions would not include time requirements or some of the other things that have been mentioned.

[Anonymous]

I know three couples in my social circle who divorced for infidelity.

The two husbands that cheated were sleeping with an absurd number of women they found online. And the one wife left for another man. No children for any of them.