Stay at Home vs Retired

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I guess I’m over invested in this thread – but I’m really angry at your husband!

I’m also angry at OP! WTF are you doing lady?!

This guy is treating you like dirt and you’re just signing up to take more and more. I can see why his first marriage ended. Are you afraid that if you stand up for yourself, you’ll end up divorced too? Honestly, you’d be way better off. Your DH would be totally screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I guess I’m over invested in this thread – but I’m really angry at your husband!

I’m also angry at OP! WTF are you doing lady?!

This guy is treating you like dirt and you’re just signing up to take more and more. I can see why his first marriage ended. Are you afraid that if you stand up for yourself, you’ll end up divorced too? Honestly, you’d be way better off. Your DH would be totally screwed.

Count me in the number of those who care a lot about the outcome of this.

OP, you've gotten a lot of good, careful feedback here. I hope it helps you see this situation a bit differently.

You clearly need to bring up this plan of his to retire from both his job and parenting responsibilities with your husband. Go to a counselor if necessary.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM married to a surgeon. I think OP is prematurely getting upset at her DH. If OP is working long hours and her DH is sitting at home, he will pick up and drive their one child. It seems silly to be upset at the dinner that may or may not be made by her DH in his retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

Also, in case it wasn't clear. I'm also, in no way, asking him to let me have evenings off! It would just be nice to shift some of that evening work into his day. I have days off during the week as well (remember, shift work) and it's what I do. Take care of a grocery run, clean out a closet, prep dinner, so, when everyone is home we just have to clean up the kitchen and get ready for bed. It's literally 1 or 2 hours of work the whole time my kid is at school. Plenty of time for "me" time.

SAHM here. I really hate when DH gives me tasks to do and he doesn’t. If you want to clean a closet, fine. I would not tell your DH to clean a closet. Grocery run is reasonable but you can always instacart.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m only checking back in as this thread is still going on. But I don’t have a lot to add. As I said in the original post, this retirement opportunity was for next. He’s now leaning towards not doing it, as his job, although not high paying, is really flexible, and he thinks he’d be foolish to give it up. So, that’s where we are at.

And cleaning out a closet was just an example of “using ones time to help maintain the household.” We don’t assign each other specific chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m only checking back in as this thread is still going on. But I don’t have a lot to add. As I said in the original post, this retirement opportunity was for next. He’s now leaning towards not doing it, as his job, although not high paying, is really flexible, and he thinks he’d be foolish to give it up. So, that’s where we are at.

And cleaning out a closet was just an example of “using ones time to help maintain the household.” We don’t assign each other specific chores.

Bless your heart.
I am sure he is so nice and sweet and fun!! But honestly, he is a really shitty partner and comes off as very very selfish.