Last year's 'no food in this house' solution

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Those of us without eating disorders eat 3 meals a day.

[Anonymous]

Mom was a child in the depression. The cost of food
for a family during the depression was 25% of your
income. https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/spending-on-food-reaches-a-new-historical-low-and-its-nothing-at-all-like-the-great-depression.

Up until 1952, the cost of food for a family averaged
22% of your income.

Food in USA is now a very low percentage of family income.
Food costs average 5.6% of family income now.

Mom always carefully parceled out foods at family meals
but she came from an era when food for the family was
a costly part of the family budget.

Children were expected to eat what was prepared for a meal. If the children did not like the meal that an adult
spent a fair amount of time preparing then the child
would get a chance to eat again in 4 hours. There
was not a lot of the extreme catering to children that
you see now. The all day snacking for children
did not exist in Mom's time. You ate breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. You did get a good dessert after dinner
Yea!

If your 60-70-80-90 year old family members are
less generous with food it may be because they grew up
in a time in which food was a major (25%) of the family budget and families had to be very very careful with
food costs in order to still pay the rent, heat etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom was a child in the depression. The cost of food
for a family during the depression was 25% of your
income. https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/spending-on-food-reaches-a-new-historical-low-and-its-nothing-at-all-like-the-great-depression.

Up until 1952, the cost of food for a family averaged
22% of your income.

Food in USA is now a very low percentage of family income.
Food costs average 5.6% of family income now.

Mom always carefully parceled out foods at family meals
but she came from an era when food for the family was
a costly part of the family budget.

Children were expected to eat what was prepared for a meal. If the children did not like the meal that an adult
spent a fair amount of time preparing then the child
would get a chance to eat again in 4 hours. There
was not a lot of the extreme catering to children that
you see now. The all day snacking for children
did not exist in Mom's time. You ate breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. You did get a good dessert after dinner
Yea!

If your 60-70-80-90 year old family members are
less generous with food it may be because they grew up
in a time in which food was a major (25%) of the family budget and families had to be very very careful with
food costs in order to still pay the rent, heat etc.

Hi sweet pea, my family has always ALWAYS been respectful and careful with food.

My kids are not picky, they eat what they are served at meal times. We respect food. We are good at planning. WE GET IT.

That said, my children and I are not going to subsist on toast and tea at 7 a.m. and be fine without food until 7 p.m. dinner. They are children. We are healthy and active. We eat three meals a day. Sometimes even a snack on freaking CHRISTMAS.

Perspective is fine. Lectures are not. My grandmother grew up on a farm in Indiana during the Depression. I worked on a farm as a teenager. I guarantee I know a lot more about foood and crops and livestock than you do. That said, we eat.

[Anonymous]

We are the same way at my mom's house.

The first night we arrive we buy Boston Market for the whole family. We buy enough so there are leftovers.

We do hear a lot of "Wow, that's so much food. It's crazy!"
but I ignore it.

I think old people just get unrealistic about how children and middle aged adults eat. I don't think they mean anything abut it. They just forget what's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Those of us without eating disorders eat 3 meals a day.

Ok, saddlebag sally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Those of us without eating disorders eat 3 meals a day.

Ok, saddlebag sally.

Why do you care what other people eat? Seriously. Don't be one of those MIL a-holes who starves people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Those of us without eating disorders eat 3 meals a day.

Ok, saddlebag sally.

Why do you care what other people eat? Seriously. Don't be one of those MIL a-holes who starves people.

+1

Obviously a control issue. Whacko.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Those of us without eating disorders eat 3 meals a day.

Ok, saddlebag sally.

Merry Christmas, Burger King Lady! Bet you're down to zero guests.

[Anonymous]

You can always tell which side is unhinged on DCUM because they default to hyperbole. Instead of rational reasons, call someone fat, and equate three standard meals to "stuffing your face constantly."

I don't think it's intentional. I think people with bizarre beliefs are often frozen into very black and white thinking, and anything that disagrees with their beliefs must be some caricature of the Worst Interpretation Ever, Hyperbole 1001.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom was a child in the depression. The cost of food
for a family during the depression was 25% of your
income. https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/spending-on-food-reaches-a-new-historical-low-and-its-nothing-at-all-like-the-great-depression.

Up until 1952, the cost of food for a family averaged
22% of your income.

Food in USA is now a very low percentage of family income.
Food costs average 5.6% of family income now.

Mom always carefully parceled out foods at family meals
but she came from an era when food for the family was
a costly part of the family budget.

Children were expected to eat what was prepared for a meal. If the children did not like the meal that an adult
spent a fair amount of time preparing then the child
would get a chance to eat again in 4 hours. There
was not a lot of the extreme catering to children that
you see now. The all day snacking for children
did not exist in Mom's time. You ate breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. You did get a good dessert after dinner
Yea!

If your 60-70-80-90 year old family members are
less generous with food it may be because they grew up
in a time in which food was a major (25%) of the family budget and families had to be very very careful with
food costs in order to still pay the rent, heat etc.

Or they are just stingy a-holes with control and mental issues. My MIL is a rather mean four feet nine inches, and he’ll if I’m going to apologize for eating because she eats like a bird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Those of us without eating disorders eat 3 meals a day.

+1

And we eat healthy. Not tuna from a can for lunch, and lean cuisine for dinner, every damn night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this so much. My in-laws are pretty nice and never announce the kitchen is closed, but they never have enough food at meals. There's often no carb and very limited quantities. One year we were allotted 4 stems of asparagus, a small portion of fish, and an artichoke each. I was breastfeeding twins and literally ate almost an entire turkey alone the week before when visiting my family...

Even if that’s how they normally eat, are they unfamiliar with the concept of being hospitable to guests? Have they never been guests in anyone else’s home? Never watched a single Food Network show where food is prepared for entertaining? I was raised so differently that I cannot understand this. I leave snacks in my guest room when my parents visit, just in case they’re hungry sometime late at night and don’t want to bother me. What kind of monster doesn’t check in with a breastfeeding mother (to twins no less!) to make sure she has everything she needs? I’m experiencing second hand distress over this.

+1

This is not as uncommon as you’d think. I was breastfeeding and my parents served one ready-to-serve can of soup for lunch, split between 4 people! WTF? They also seemed annoyed when I sent DH to Panera for sandwiches because there was “plenty of food.”

+2 Old people lose their appetite and don't understand how much younger people need to eat. My grandparents ate very little in their 80s. My parents do this a bit too. They never did it when we were younger, and they don't do it for big dinners/official hosting, but if we're just ordering take out together or something, we do NOT leave the ordering to them. They significantly underestimate how much my DH and adult bro need to eat. My WASP FIL does not have that problem. He has a healthy appetite. Maybe it just depends on their own appetite and they assume that whatever is filling to them will be filling to others too. My FIL is always giving us huge portions. To the point that we will request a "FIL size piece" of cake, etc. if we want a big piece.

+1

On the contrary, a mil serving is basically crumbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom was a child in the depression. The cost of food
for a family during the depression was 25% of your
income. https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/spending-on-food-reaches-a-new-historical-low-and-its-nothing-at-all-like-the-great-depression.

Up until 1952, the cost of food for a family averaged
22% of your income.

Food in USA is now a very low percentage of family income.
Food costs average 5.6% of family income now.

Mom always carefully parceled out foods at family meals
but she came from an era when food for the family was
a costly part of the family budget.

Children were expected to eat what was prepared for a meal. If the children did not like the meal that an adult
spent a fair amount of time preparing then the child
would get a chance to eat again in 4 hours. There
was not a lot of the extreme catering to children that
you see now. The all day snacking for children
did not exist in Mom's time. You ate breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. You did get a good dessert after dinner
Yea!

If your 60-70-80-90 year old family members are
less generous with food it may be because they grew up
in a time in which food was a major (25%) of the family budget and families had to be very very careful with
food costs in order to still pay the rent, heat etc.

Or they are just stingy a-holes with control and mental issues. My MIL is a rather mean four feet nine inches, and he’ll if I’m going to apologize for eating because she eats like a bird.

Agreed.

The PP's excuse only works if they are just as weird about other things that used to be proportionally much more expensive. Elders used to be pretty apprehensive about long distance calls (used to be insanely expensive), but it's rare to find a grandparent now that doesn't get that long distance calls within the US are effectively the same price as calling your neighbor in the same town. They still want to talk to the grandkids on the other coast, for example.

People are more weird about food because of control issues and what food and weight mean in our social context, at least to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or just stop stuffing your face constantly.

Karen, some of us need three actual meals a day.
Not coffee with a piece of toast and then wait til 7 a night to have dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom was a child in the depression. The cost of food
for a family during the depression was 25% of your
income. https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/spending-on-food-reaches-a-new-historical-low-and-its-nothing-at-all-like-the-great-depression.

Up until 1952, the cost of food for a family averaged
22% of your income.

Food in USA is now a very low percentage of family income.
Food costs average 5.6% of family income now.

Mom always carefully parceled out foods at family meals
but she came from an era when food for the family was
a costly part of the family budget.

Children were expected to eat what was prepared for a meal. If the children did not like the meal that an adult
spent a fair amount of time preparing then the child
would get a chance to eat again in 4 hours. There
was not a lot of the extreme catering to children that
you see now. The all day snacking for children
did not exist in Mom's time. You ate breakfast, lunch,
and dinner. You did get a good dessert after dinner
Yea!

If your 60-70-80-90 year old family members are
less generous with food it may be because they grew up
in a time in which food was a major (25%) of the family budget and families had to be very very careful with
food costs in order to still pay the rent, heat etc.

Or they are just stingy a-holes with control and mental issues. My MIL is a rather mean four feet nine inches, and he’ll if I’m going to apologize for eating because she eats like a bird.

Agreed.

The PP's excuse only works if they are just as weird about other things that used to be proportionally much more expensive. Elders used to be pretty apprehensive about long distance calls (used to be insanely expensive), but it's rare to find a grandparent now that doesn't get that long distance calls within the US are effectively the same price as calling your neighbor in the same town. They still want to talk to the grandkids on the other coast, for example.

People are more weird about food because of control issues and what food and weight mean in our social context, at least to them.

PP here. Agreed. MIL has other issues, the food control is a symptom of all that other stuff. I grew up poor, on a budget, and without much food too - but we were self sufficient and proactive about it. A wonder what you can do with a few tomato seeds. Doesn't mean I starve my whole freaking family.