Teen is all over his sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

Where would that self-control come from, exactly? He's behaving incredibly inappropriately in public already, and basically getting the reaction from his parents that if she can't fight him off then he gets to do what he wants. And their parents have them sharing a room. This is how he acts during the day with non-family members watching. It's crazy to act like it's a HUGE LEAP to think that he's not pushing it further away from any supervision whatsoever.

I agree with the PP above you that it might not have progressed to penetration yet, but what we see here is that he's been given the all clear to do what he wants to her, and she's had it reinforced that no one will help her when she says no, so I feel pretty confident saying if OP does not intervene this will lead to rape.

Look, most 13 year old boys are raging full of hormones and probably most of them have - or have tried to- "wrestle" similarly aged girls or younger girls for some sort of gratification. But most 13 year old boys will never go on to rape those girls. Truly. Do you think all 13 year old boys are rapists?

Speaking of HUGE LEAPS.

Listen if you're not asking in good faith, go off. But you asked why you were the only one who thought it was crazy to go from the presented facts to sexual assault. And I explained why it's not crazy. If you've got some extra agenda about how boys should be allowed to lay on top of their sisters and hold them down and kiss them in public (but apparently also be given the benefit of the doubt about internalizing taboos about incest), have that thread without me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

Where would that self-control come from, exactly? He's behaving incredibly inappropriately in public already, and basically getting the reaction from his parents that if she can't fight him off then he gets to do what he wants. And their parents have them sharing a room. This is how he acts during the day with non-family members watching. It's crazy to act like it's a HUGE LEAP to think that he's not pushing it further away from any supervision whatsoever.

I agree with the PP above you that it might not have progressed to penetration yet, but what we see here is that he's been given the all clear to do what he wants to her, and she's had it reinforced that no one will help her when she says no, so I feel pretty confident saying if OP does not intervene this will lead to rape.

The self control would come from the incredible societal taboo of rape, not to mention incestual rape. Like how you might hate your friend and want to kill him- and some kids might progress to actually punching their friend in a moment of passion, although many wouldn't- but most kids aren't going to ACTUALLY kill their friend because it's so incredibly not okay in society to do that. I kind of see this the same way. He is being inappropriate- yes. he should stop- yes. Is he forcing rape and incest on his sister? Chances are, no. So OP should totally step in and speak up to the parents but I thikn everyone on this thread who is panicking about the definite incest/rape going on in that bedroom can calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

Where would that self-control come from, exactly? He's behaving incredibly inappropriately in public already, and basically getting the reaction from his parents that if she can't fight him off then he gets to do what he wants. And their parents have them sharing a room. This is how he acts during the day with non-family members watching. It's crazy to act like it's a HUGE LEAP to think that he's not pushing it further away from any supervision whatsoever.

I agree with the PP above you that it might not have progressed to penetration yet, but what we see here is that he's been given the all clear to do what he wants to her, and she's had it reinforced that no one will help her when she says no, so I feel pretty confident saying if OP does not intervene this will lead to rape.

Look, most 13 year old boys are raging full of hormones and probably most of them have - or have tried to- "wrestle" similarly aged girls or younger girls for some sort of gratification. But most 13 year old boys will never go on to rape those girls. Truly. Do you think all 13 year old boys are rapists?

Speaking of HUGE LEAPS.

Listen if you're not asking in good faith, go off. But you asked why you were the only one who thought it was crazy to go from the presented facts to sexual assault. And I explained why it's not crazy. If you've got some extra agenda about how boys should be allowed to lay on top of their sisters and hold them down and kiss them in public (but apparently also be given the benefit of the doubt about internalizing taboos about incest), have that thread without me.

Of course they shouldn't be allowed to. I think he sounds like he needs help with boundaries for sure. But literally you guys have jumped from "he picks her up and hugs her at the pool when she says no" (remember the forcible kissing was years ago so probably more kid-like I would assume) to "he is forcing his penis inside her against her will". THAT IS A HUGE LEAP. And if you can't see why, then I'm sorry. All 13 year olds are chock full of hormones and 99.9% of them don't rape their pre pubescent sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

Where would that self-control come from, exactly? He's behaving incredibly inappropriately in public already, and basically getting the reaction from his parents that if she can't fight him off then he gets to do what he wants. And their parents have them sharing a room. This is how he acts during the day with non-family members watching. It's crazy to act like it's a HUGE LEAP to think that he's not pushing it further away from any supervision whatsoever.

I agree with the PP above you that it might not have progressed to penetration yet, but what we see here is that he's been given the all clear to do what he wants to her, and she's had it reinforced that no one will help her when she says no, so I feel pretty confident saying if OP does not intervene this will lead to rape.

Why does anyone believe this boy wouldn’t be already raping his sister?

He’s obviously ok with kissing her, pinning her down, and “touching” her - IN PUBLIC!! And so are the damn parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is 10. If he's raping her every night she would have physical problems that would be evident at home and checkups. Isn't it? So I can't say 100% certainty that he's raping her.

There are many kids who go for yearly physicals whose sexual abuse is not seen because doctors are not checking for it. An exam for sexual assault is not a typical physical. There are many girls who are raped and no one realizes it for YEARS until they have a baby at 11.

This exactly. Mom could easily be telling doctors not to do ‘private parts’ check, because daughter isn’t comfortable with it, or whatever.

This situation is outrageous, yet I’m sure it’s more common than any one of us wants to believe. Always look for any ‘odd’ behavior with any child. Have a look at the Safe Shores (DC) website. I learned a lot of important information there.

I'm a pediatrician and we do "private part checks" as part of a yearly physical to check for onset of puberty and appropriate development. You cannot tell from an external physical exam if tween year old girl has been raped unless there is obvious trauma which there probably wouldn't be.

I imagine you think this situation is extremely concerning, as OP is describing it?

It is concerning for sure. Don't agree that it's CPS worthy without more details. Kids are fueled by hormones at that age. Agree with poster who says most young teens are not going to rape their siblings no matter how hormonal they are.

[Anonymous]

OP here. What sets the context for this behavior is that the boy has always gotten what he wanted. Permissive style parenting. Mom never said no to him when he was little. He always did what he wanted and he is used to getting his way by any way possible.

He always walked all over his sister - took her birthday presents, ruined her activities because he wanted to do something else, the family did what he wanted, she didn't have any voice. He pushes her friends away because he want her to belong to him. So the way I see him treat her is like his personal property. I think she got used to it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

Where would that self-control come from, exactly? He's behaving incredibly inappropriately in public already, and basically getting the reaction from his parents that if she can't fight him off then he gets to do what he wants. And their parents have them sharing a room. This is how he acts during the day with non-family members watching. It's crazy to act like it's a HUGE LEAP to think that he's not pushing it further away from any supervision whatsoever.

I agree with the PP above you that it might not have progressed to penetration yet, but what we see here is that he's been given the all clear to do what he wants to her, and she's had it reinforced that no one will help her when she says no, so I feel pretty confident saying if OP does not intervene this will lead to rape.

Why does anyone believe this boy wouldn’t be already raping his sister?

He’s obviously ok with kissing her, pinning her down, and “touching” her - IN PUBLIC!! And so are the damn parents!

Ok, does OP say he is touching her vagina in public? If so , I stand down, because that's beyond the pale right there. But I didn't see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

Where would that self-control come from, exactly? He's behaving incredibly inappropriately in public already, and basically getting the reaction from his parents that if she can't fight him off then he gets to do what he wants. And their parents have them sharing a room. This is how he acts during the day with non-family members watching. It's crazy to act like it's a HUGE LEAP to think that he's not pushing it further away from any supervision whatsoever.

I agree with the PP above you that it might not have progressed to penetration yet, but what we see here is that he's been given the all clear to do what he wants to her, and she's had it reinforced that no one will help her when she says no, so I feel pretty confident saying if OP does not intervene this will lead to rape.

The self control would come from the incredible societal taboo of rape, not to mention incestual rape. Like how you might hate your friend and want to kill him- and some kids might progress to actually punching their friend in a moment of passion, although many wouldn't- but most kids aren't going to ACTUALLY kill their friend because it's so incredibly not okay in society to do that. I kind of see this the same way. He is being inappropriate- yes. he should stop- yes. Is he forcing rape and incest on his sister? Chances are, no. So OP should totally step in and speak up to the parents but I thikn everyone on this thread who is panicking about the definite incest/rape going on in that bedroom can calm down.

He's laying on top of her and kissing her in public, so I'm not seeing a recognition of taboo against incest. At his age most boys aren't expressing physical affection like that with their sisters. It's developmentally inappropriate and it's not being corrected. He's picking her up and carrying her around and holding her against his body all day at the pool, regardless of whether she says no, so I'm not seeing a recognition of any taboo against violating consent. Taboos against rape and incest exist because those things are explicitly forbidden and met with outrage, punishment, shaming, etc. He's getting a free pass and being treated like he's done nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Too much step-sister/brother porn on the internet....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks it's a stretch to automatically assume this little girl must be being raped by her brother because of what OP described? Sounds like he is overly touchy/feely, but it's a HUGE LEAP from that to actually putting his penis in her vagina against her will at night. Boys that age are hormonal- YES. But he probably has some freaking self control when it comes to RAPING HIS 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Like how you get mad at your little brother so you push him down sometimes, that doesn't mean you are beating him unconscious with a baseball bat in your shared room at night because that's such a HUGE LEAP from sometimes pushing him when you're mad. Being hormonal and clearly too touchy with her at the pool is a far cry from actually physically raping her. Everyone on this thread needs to take a deep breath.

Where would that self-control come from, exactly? He's behaving incredibly inappropriately in public already, and basically getting the reaction from his parents that if she can't fight him off then he gets to do what he wants. And their parents have them sharing a room. This is how he acts during the day with non-family members watching. It's crazy to act like it's a HUGE LEAP to think that he's not pushing it further away from any supervision whatsoever.

I agree with the PP above you that it might not have progressed to penetration yet, but what we see here is that he's been given the all clear to do what he wants to her, and she's had it reinforced that no one will help her when she says no, so I feel pretty confident saying if OP does not intervene this will lead to rape.

The self control would come from the incredible societal taboo of rape, not to mention incestual rape. Like how you might hate your friend and want to kill him- and some kids might progress to actually punching their friend in a moment of passion, although many wouldn't- but most kids aren't going to ACTUALLY kill their friend because it's so incredibly not okay in society to do that. I kind of see this the same way. He is being inappropriate- yes. he should stop- yes. Is he forcing rape and incest on his sister? Chances are, no. So OP should totally step in and speak up to the parents but I thikn everyone on this thread who is panicking about the definite incest/rape going on in that bedroom can calm down.

Taboos are not keeping kids safe.
Of kids who are sexually assaulted, 36% are assaulted by their fathers (20%) or other relatives (16%).

She needs to call. If there is nothing wrong and the parents just need to actually parent their kids, then they will get told that. Let's all hope that is the resolution. If the parents aren't uncomfortable with their son holding down or grabbing or picking up their child and rubbing her body like that, then op talking to them will do ZERO. And this girl needs help. She needs help just from what OP has seen, and probably from more that OP hasn't seen. OP is not equipped to handle this. Let professionals do their job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. What sets the context for this behavior is that the boy has always gotten what he wanted. Permissive style parenting. Mom never said no to him when he was little. He always did what he wanted and he is used to getting his way by any way possible.

He always walked all over his sister - took her birthday presents, ruined her activities because he wanted to do something else, the family did what he wanted, she didn't have any voice. He pushes her friends away because he want her to belong to him. So the way I see him treat her is like his personal property. I think she got used to it though.

Or he doesn't want her to get close enough to any friends to tell them what is really going on.

[Anonymous]

https://www.thoughtco.com/facts-about-child-sexual-abuse-statistics-3533871

And don't forget that 25% of girls and 16% of boys experience sexual abuse before 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:]

Of course they shouldn't be allowed to. I think he sounds like he needs help with boundaries for sure. But literally you guys have jumped from "he picks her up and hugs her at the pool when she says no" (remember the forcible kissing was years ago so probably more kid-like I would assume) to "he is forcing his penis inside her against her will". THAT IS A HUGE LEAP. And if you can't see why, then I'm sorry. All 13 year olds are chock full of hormones and 99.9% of them don't rape their pre pubescent sisters.

The thing is, it started before, years ago. I'm not sure when exactly. But he would lie in top of her and kiss her at the age of 8-9 maybe? No one thinks maybe it's just delayed childhood affection. But he's still doing physical stuff although not kissing her (not in public anyway).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. What sets the context for this behavior is that the boy has always gotten what he wanted. Permissive style parenting. Mom never said no to him when he was little. He always did what he wanted and he is used to getting his way by any way possible.

He always walked all over his sister - took her birthday presents, ruined her activities because he wanted to do something else, the family did what he wanted, she didn't have any voice. He pushes her friends away because he want her to belong to him. So the way I see him treat her is like his personal property. I think she got used to it though.

This is so disturbing. Without intensive therapy, it will be a miracle if she doesn't end up with an abusive partner. She's already been conditioned for it. How do her parents not recognize this? OP, have you raised this with them? That she is being conditioned for abuse by others in the future?

[Anonymous]

I would have never remained silent the first time I witnessed ANYTHING inappropriate.

I have in fact said in public to complete strangers:
“Your sister said NO!”

I don’t care if anyone is embarrassed.
I DO care about child safety and protection.
You all should to.