Step-son Moving Back In

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you can love DSS and detach from him. This is foundational in dealing with addicts. You can’t control the addict. Only the addict can decide to get clean. Often the most loving thing you can do is give the addict space to learn to make mistakes and choices, without you or DS being there to backstop any bad choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you can love DSS and detach from him. This is foundational in dealing with addicts. You can’t control the addict. Only the addict can decide to get clean. Often the most loving thing you can do is give the addict space to learn to make mistakes and choices, without you or DS being there to backstop any bad choices.

* without DH being there to backstop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess, since DSS is 20, I need to move this to family relationships. I just feel really stuck right now. DSS has lived 50/50 with us since we got married when he was 8. His last few years of high school, he got deeper and deeper in marijuana use. His parents punished, drug tested, sent him to therapy... basically all the right things. But, his first year of college was over in the second semester after heavily increasing use, failing grades, and, finally, a overdose situation. He left school, moved back to our city, and moved in with his mother.

We have a smaller child, and, he was basically told out the outset that he could only live with us after beginning treatment , proving he didnt use, and making some plans for what he wanted to do next. He has done none of this. Things are steadily declining at his moms. And, now we are getting more and more pressure from both of them to let him move in with us before she just kicks him out. My husband feels like he has no choice. Basically, I know, he will leave me if I absolutely say he cannot move in. He won't consider making alternative living arrangements. I know my husband is trying to do the best he can, but the situation just feels hopeless.

I mean. You can't OD on marijuana so.

[Anonymous]

I'd absolutely die on this hill. No way he'd be coming to my home (esp. with a young child) at this point. If DH would leave me, I guess I'd have to live with that. I'd start getting your ducks in a row and not waiting for things to happen.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
THIS

[Anonymous]

Get a safe deposit box at your bank for any jewelry and valuables. My mom’s friend had everything valuable stolen by her addict daughter.

[Anonymous]

I’m reading this as the wife in a blended family and this would be an absolute nightmare. As the stepmom, you can’t win and I suggest you leave your idiot of a husband if he’s so willing to jeopardize your safety and that of DD.