How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman.

She must make a good career. She must be an involved mother and spend quality time with her children. She must maintain attractive looks - go to the gym and beauty salons regularly. She must maintain her house and host social gatherings. She must cook healthy and delicious meals. She must keep her husband interested - date night, etc.

Am I missing anything?

I hear what you are saying and I often am really irritated about expectations on women. HOWEVER, if you look at it from this perspective it changes

- Feel attractive and be healthy
- Have a close relationship with my spouse
- Have a close relationship with my kids
- Thrive in my career

Thank you. This is a great perspective.

[Anonymous]

I've let myself go and has just started picking myself up again after losing a lot of weight. OP, it's good that you are thinking about this now, I wish I have before having kids. PPs are correct, having kids can age you, and women tend to make themselves the last on the list when it comes to tending their needs. I think it starts to happen postpartum when you are tired and all you want to do is have a proper meal and rest, and then that becomes a habit, because by the time you go back to work, everything becomes a juggling act and you always have to adjust to something new when you hit milestones. I don't regret having kids, I just wish I knew how to take care of myself then and it should have been part of my routine because these past few years, my mood and my self confidence definitely dwindled up to a point where I don't like looking at myself. So, looking back, this is what I would have done:

Built in daily exercise. It doesn't have to be long, if you don't have time do 10 minute high intensity exercises throughout the day. This will help keep your energy up.
Eat healthy by keeping healthy food at home, treat yourself once in a while but don't make it daily. Do not snack all day long, it becomes a really bad habit. Drink more water.
Take a short mental breaks even for just 5- 10 minutes, deep breathing.
You can actually do a less than 5 minute makeup routine! You just need powder, lipstick, blush, mascara and eyeliner! You don't need to look like professionally done. Do this first thing in the morning when you dress up. This small routine makes a big difference for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman.

She must make a good career. She must be an involved mother and spend quality time with her children. She must maintain attractive looks - go to the gym and beauty salons regularly. She must maintain her house and host social gatherings. She must cook healthy and delicious meals. She must keep her husband interested - date night, etc.

Am I missing anything?

I hear what you are saying and I often am really irritated about expectations on women. HOWEVER, if you look at it from this perspective it changes

- Feel attractive and be healthy
- Have a close relationship with my spouse
- Have a close relationship with my kids
- Thrive in my career

Thank you. This is a great perspective.

It's a good perspective that her relationship with her spouse and kids relies on how much she weighs and if she gets wrinkles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

Are you saying this is what you have to do to maintain your weight?

This is horrible. I'm 5'7, 118 lbs. and I drink coffee with cream, eat sugar and carbs every day, drink a couple glasses of wine every night. I could never live like that. I'd rather be dead.

My face reading this was like

I thought the same thing! This list is insane. If this is what you need to do to not gain weight, I don't think it's worth it! For most people, all they have to do is cut out the beer or wine.

I had the same initial reaction, but she's really just saying, "eat very cleanly, don't drink, exercise, sleep" right?

Yes.. and don't tan/take care of your skin... and don't exercise too much it destroys your body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone have to go the feminism route in these threads?

I like looking in the mirror and feeling pretty and put-together. Many women enjoy trying out different lotions and makeup and hair products. We aren’t doing it to impress a man. We’re doing it because it’s fun. And no I’m not a big makeup gal in the grand scheme of things—but I know I look better with a little bit on. And it’s fun for me to buy a new lip gloss now and again. It doesn’t mean I’m bowing down to the Evil White Man Machine or whatever you guys are blathering on about.

I like feeling feminine and pretty. A little makeup and being in shape makes me feel that way. The End.

You are reading too much into it. Most people said ... let yourself go a little and here are some tips to stay healthy and feel good.

You even are not "staying pretty" for a man, you do it for yourself. What's wrong with doing it for a man... are they evil, are you a feminist.

Relax chica! There is no feminist fight here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Update! Don't have the same hairstyle you've had since high school.

Regular manicures.

Regular professional haircuts and color.

Decide early if you'll cover your grays.

Shoes are so aging and can ruin your look. Again, update.

In general, you shouldn't be wearing the same wardrobe for decades. Go ahead and say that a tee shirt and jeans are classics and therefore can't ever be out of style. Yes they can. Color and fit and styling of jeans are ever evolving.

I am 51 and spend weekends on the sidelines of DC games. Ugh. Parents who are likely fashionable and current and dress professionally for work throw on entire outfits from the 90s. Moms in boot cut, bedazzled low rise jeans with baby tees, dads in enormous light blue relaxed fit Levi's with a tucked in golf shirt.

So in other words, be rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most weight gain is about food, not exercise. Eating less doesn't take time. In fact, maybe you can use the time you would have spent eating working out instead.

And childbirth and menopause and body type and genes.

[Anonymous]

Let's not confuse "letting yourself go" with "getting older." Many of the things cited here as "letting yourself go" are actually just consequences of aging, which every single one of us will do. Most women don't go from caring about their appearance in their 20s and early 30s to not giving a flying fig in their late 30s/40s. So the women in their late 30s/early 40s who might look like they've "let themselves go" are more than likely just older versions of the same person they were at a younger age. They didn't necessarily "let themselves go" but rather, your looks simply become harder to maintain and control as you get older.

My point is that women who look like they've "let themselves go" are probably the type who have always been very low maintenance and who have not cared all that much about how they look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman.

She must make a good career. She must be an involved mother and spend quality time with her children. She must maintain attractive looks - go to the gym and beauty salons regularly. She must maintain her house and host social gatherings. She must cook healthy and delicious meals. She must keep her husband interested - date night, etc.

Am I missing anything?

I hear what you are saying and I often am really irritated about expectations on women. HOWEVER, if you look at it from this perspective it changes

- Feel attractive and be healthy
- Have a close relationship with my spouse
- Have a close relationship with my kids
- Thrive in my career

Yeah, except it's an obligation that you feel. Expectations are set. Men do not have these expectations of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

Are you saying this is what you have to do to maintain your weight?

This is horrible. I'm 5'7, 118 lbs. and I drink coffee with cream, eat sugar and carbs every day, drink a couple glasses of wine every night. I could never live like that. I'd rather be dead.

My face reading this was like

I thought the same thing! This list is insane. If this is what you need to do to not gain weight, I don't think it's worth it! For most people, all they have to do is cut out the beer or wine.

I had the same initial reaction, but she's really just saying, "eat very cleanly, don't drink, exercise, sleep" right?

Yes.. and don't tan/take care of your skin... and don't exercise too much it destroys your body.

Exercise does not destroy your body. Dear lord, where did you get that notion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

Are you saying this is what you have to do to maintain your weight?

This is horrible. I'm 5'7, 118 lbs. and I drink coffee with cream, eat sugar and carbs every day, drink a couple glasses of wine every night. I could never live like that. I'd rather be dead.

My face reading this was like

I thought the same thing! This list is insane. If this is what you need to do to not gain weight, I don't think it's worth it! For most people, all they have to do is cut out the beer or wine.

I had the same initial reaction, but she's really just saying, "eat very cleanly, don't drink, exercise, sleep" right?

Yes.. and don't tan/take care of your skin... and don't exercise too much it destroys your body.

Exercise does not destroy your body. Dear lord, where did you get that notion?

NP. She said “too much”. Excessive exercise is terrible for the joints, can create things like magnesium deficiencies, and plenty else.

[Anonymous]

I'm just going to throw this out there for all the moms who prioritize their kids...you're effing amazing and beautiful! We don't know anyone's story, status, financial burdens or life experiences. I bow to you all and a little pat on my back for giving our kids all we've got. It comes full circle and when you have the time and the means (now or later) to focus on yourself, you will. And your kids will cheer you on. Ask me how I know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep seeing people on here mentioning that they've let themselves go because they wear casual clothing all the time as SAHMs.

Can someone give me an example of a person who is dressed up but casually and hasn't let themselves go?

What are you supposed to wear to the park if not jeans and a tee shirt?

https://www.sunsetsandstilettos.com/

sorry this outfit is fug

Looks cute on her but that's because she's a 20 year old waif. It would look cheap and weird on anyone older, I think.

There’s no way this woman is not in her mid 40’s. Face and hands are a dead giveaway.

And calls herself "curvy"- I just see flat chest and flat butt!

[Anonymous]

I'm mid 40s, work FT, two kids. I don't bother with a lot of crap I used to like professional eyebrow waxing, mani/pedis, eye make up most days, and contact lenses most days.

BUT, I eat incredibly healthy, I don't drink alcohol, I get 8 hours of sleep a night, and I am religious about doing yoga and/or pilates. I drank more and slept less and ate less healthy when I was younger, so hard for me to say I've let myself go. My weight and fitness levels are great, and I think my skin looks great. But yeah I'm older than I used to be, go figure.

I traded in a lot of chemical/toxin filled products for more natural skin and hair care. I still get a professional salon cut and color, and I do periodically work with a stylist for some of my wardrobe which I NEVER thought I'd do. So I've traded some indulgences for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

Are you saying this is what you have to do to maintain your weight?

This is horrible. I'm 5'7, 118 lbs. and I drink coffee with cream, eat sugar and carbs every day, drink a couple glasses of wine every night. I could never live like that. I'd rather be dead.

My face reading this was like

I thought the same thing! This list is insane. If this is what you need to do to not gain weight, I don't think it's worth it! For most people, all they have to do is cut out the beer or wine.

I had the same initial reaction, but she's really just saying, "eat very cleanly, don't drink, exercise, sleep" right?

Yes.. and don't tan/take care of your skin... and don't exercise too much it destroys your body.

Exercise does not destroy your body. Dear lord, where did you get that notion?

Hip and knee surgeries... ask your orthopedic how bad marathon running and other extreme sports are for you.

But if you want to swim your ass off, go for it.