How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn't having kids that will doom you. It is having kids and not having the money for new clothes and food because of childcare. Contacts and going to get your hair done costs money. If you don't make 200k dont have a child.

You forgot the lack of sleep, the worries that accompany being a parent, esp if you have SN kids.

Moms of SN kids are almost always fat and shlubby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It isn't having kids that will doom you. It is having kids and not having the money for new clothes and food because of childcare. Contacts and going to get your hair done costs money. If you don't make 200k dont have a child.

You forgot the lack of sleep, the worries that accompany being a parent, esp if you have SN kids.

Moms of SN kids are almost always fat and shlubby

Truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep seeing people on here mentioning that they've let themselves go because they wear casual clothing all the time as SAHMs.

Can someone give me an example of a person who is dressed up but casually and hasn't let themselves go?

What are you supposed to wear to the park if not jeans and a tee shirt?

I like how this person dresses. She mostly wears dresses and skirts but even when she's wearing jeans, she still wears jewelry and no tennis shoes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxJJU1BH50j/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwsxM3LHikU/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwIt9xtHlVW/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvM7N6jno01/

It's funny you bring her up. She is always at the beach wearing uncomfortable sandals and a dress that looks like you'd lose your mind if you got any sand on it. It's a cute look but also seems like she's pretending to be an elderly Kennedy! (I like that look on her - elderly Kennedy cosplay - but I think for most people who get dirty or sandy or want to actually be able to go for a walk while they're out on vacation, it's not a very practical look.)

Why wouldn’t she just take her sandals off on the sand?

Your post makes no sense.

She looks beautiful and carefree.

OK!

https://www.classygirlswearpearls.com/2013/03/front-row-seat.html

https://www.classygirlswearpearls.com/2015/04/matunuck-beach-club.html

Look - of all the bloggers out there I find her pretty unobjectionable. Not at all objectionable in fact.

Her jeans outfits are cute, too - and she sometimes wears shoes that seem like you could actually walk in them.

Sarah Vickers makes her living looking cute in photos. Presenting the 2000s version of The Preppy Handbook. Most people are not earning a living by wearing expensive sundresses next to the ocean. And I don't think that not wearing an expensive sundress next to the ocean qualifies as letting yourself go. I guess I find this whole "letting yourself go" thing to be really tiresome, maybe.

The idea that you'd think of yourself as "well preserved" at age 32 is really something. Age 32 - you are a child still. My gd. Well preserved? Go ENJOY yourself at this age. Go enjoy yourself at every age, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone IRL who has a serious career and kids, and who hasn’t let themselves go to some extent, even if it’s just ten extra pounds they can’t seem to lose. There isn’t enough time for everything, something has to give.

This is really interesting. I would agree. Something's got to give, and as you get older you realize somethings just aren't important.

Still, I'd be interested in the categories you mean of "letting yourself go." Do you mean physically?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing is more aging than having children. Simply learning how to use birth control is 50% of the battle of not letting yourself go. The rest is diet and exercise, plenty of water, plenty of sleep. When you look good from within, the rest is just window dressing.

Have clothes tailored to fit. A $10 garment made out of the most plasticky polyester, but which fits perfectly, will look a million times better than more expensive pieces that billow or gape or ride up.

Lay off the makeup. It's counterintuitive. You're probably thinking...I'm letting myself go...shouldn't I be wearing *more* makeup? NO. Caked-on makeup is not a good look at any age, but it's particularly heinous once you exit your 20s. Most women don't seem to realize that full makeup adds about 10 years to your face. Think about it. You did it to look older when you were 15. Guess what? It still makes you older when you're 30+.

I agree for myself at least. I don't wear makeup most days, or if I do it's eyeliner and tinted moisterizer. Here's the thing, though- when I catch myself in the mirror on day I do wear more makeup, I def. look better. Even if I look older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every woman.

She must make a good career. She must be an involved mother and spend quality time with her children. She must maintain attractive looks - go to the gym and beauty salons regularly. She must maintain her house and host social gatherings. She must cook healthy and delicious meals. She must keep her husband interested - date night, etc.

Am I missing anything?

I hear what you are saying and I often am really irritated about expectations on women. HOWEVER, if you look at it from this perspective it changes

- Feel attractive and be healthy
- Have a close relationship with my spouse
- Have a close relationship with my kids
- Thrive in my career

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

Are you saying this is what you have to do to maintain your weight?

This is horrible. I'm 5'7, 118 lbs. and I drink coffee with cream, eat sugar and carbs every day, drink a couple glasses of wine every night. I could never live like that. I'd rather be dead.

My face reading this was like

I thought the same thing! This list is insane. If this is what you need to do to not gain weight, I don't think it's worth it! For most people, all they have to do is cut out the beer or wine.

I had the same initial reaction, but she's really just saying, "eat very cleanly, don't drink, exercise, sleep" right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep seeing people on here mentioning that they've let themselves go because they wear casual clothing all the time as SAHMs.

Can someone give me an example of a person who is dressed up but casually and hasn't let themselves go?

What are you supposed to wear to the park if not jeans and a tee shirt?

I like how this person dresses. She mostly wears dresses and skirts but even when she's wearing jeans, she still wears jewelry and no tennis shoes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxJJU1BH50j/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwsxM3LHikU/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwIt9xtHlVW/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvM7N6jno01/

You call this casual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drink Water
8 hours of sleep every single day
not a drop of alcohol
yoga
meditation
therapy
facials weekly


Lotion your face and your body daily

No gluten, carbs from a "box", preservatives in food
No fake sugar
no soda
No caffeine
No... none... not a drop of alcohol

only 1 fruit serving a day
many veggies
1 serving a meat a day
no dairy
10 nuts

Many reps of low weights
Run but no more than 5 miles... you end up walking like a duck if you run too much
sit ups, pushups, squats, lunges... every single day

Are you saying this is what you have to do to maintain your weight?

This is horrible. I'm 5'7, 118 lbs. and I drink coffee with cream, eat sugar and carbs every day, drink a couple glasses of wine every night. I could never live like that. I'd rather be dead.

My face reading this was like

I thought the same thing! This list is insane. If this is what you need to do to not gain weight, I don't think it's worth it! For most people, all they have to do is cut out the beer or wine.

I had the same initial reaction, but she's really just saying, "eat very cleanly, don't drink, exercise, sleep" right?

It's much more than that. No caffeine, no alcohol, no refined sugar, no carbs, TEN nuts, one serving of fruit a day. Sounds like advice on how to develop an eating disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep seeing people on here mentioning that they've let themselves go because they wear casual clothing all the time as SAHMs.

Can someone give me an example of a person who is dressed up but casually and hasn't let themselves go?

What are you supposed to wear to the park if not jeans and a tee shirt?

I like how this person dresses. She mostly wears dresses and skirts but even when she's wearing jeans, she still wears jewelry and no tennis shoes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxJJU1BH50j/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwsxM3LHikU/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwIt9xtHlVW/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvM7N6jno01/

this lady's social media is really something.

She strikes me as an aspirational Kate Middleton wannabe.

She actually looks pretty basic to me. Generic white 40s woman. Not that hard to achieve that look if that is what you aspire to. Any dress would do and does not need to be that expensive. Humongous sunglasses to hide behind.
Key to her look is to be thin. That's pretty much it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep seeing people on here mentioning that they've let themselves go because they wear casual clothing all the time as SAHMs.

Can someone give me an example of a person who is dressed up but casually and hasn't let themselves go?

What are you supposed to wear to the park if not jeans and a tee shirt?

I like how this person dresses. She mostly wears dresses and skirts but even when she's wearing jeans, she still wears jewelry and no tennis shoes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxJJU1BH50j/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwsxM3LHikU/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BwIt9xtHlVW/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvM7N6jno01/

this lady's social media is really something.

She strikes me as an aspirational Kate Middleton wannabe.

She actually looks pretty basic to me. Generic white 40s woman. Not that hard to achieve that look if that is what you aspire to. Any dress would do and does not need to be that expensive. Humongous sunglasses to hide behind.
Key to her look is to be thin. That's pretty much it.

She actually has some really nice jewelry. I saw her wearing this in a photo and pinned it for a Christmas or anniversary gift. I wonder if she got it comped.

https://www.vancleefarpels.com/us/en/collections/jewelry/alhambra/vintage-alhambra/vcarl80900-vintage-alhambra-bracelet-5-motifs.html

[Anonymous]

I don't see any posts from men about letting themselves go. And I never hear anyone use the phrase "let oneself go" in reference to a man, unless he's a last stage alcoholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep seeing people on here mentioning that they've let themselves go because they wear casual clothing all the time as SAHMs.

Can someone give me an example of a person who is dressed up but casually and hasn't let themselves go?

What are you supposed to wear to the park if not jeans and a tee shirt?

I work, but I get home early enough that I often encounter SAHM's at the neighborhood playground. I see lots of them that look really nice-updated pair of jeans, casual shoes, a nice summer top with their hair brushed and in a nice smooth ponytail or braid. Or very fit ladies working a nice athletic wear look-everything is clean, free of holes, fits well. I ALSO see a few SAHM's who look like a gd mess. Flabby, but wearing tight, ill fitting athletic wear, that shows every single fat roll, lump and bump. Hair is up in messy bun, but not an instagram worthy messy bun, more like a rats nest of hair that hasn't been washed or brushed in a week, messily piled on top of her head.

there is a big difference between casual clothing that actual fits you and taking 5 minutes to brush your hair and looking like a complete and utter mess.

[Anonymous]

Sarah Vickers has no style, and looks like she got a train run on her by The Preppy Handbook and Brooks Brothers. So charmless and unimaginative.

I will always believe these threads are started by loser men. For actual women here - exercise, eat for health, enjoy your life, try to connect with your partner, wear sunscreen and use any moisturizer at night, get a makeover at a Bobbi Brown counter and a decent hair stylist you see 6 or whatever times a year, and find style sources that inspire your shopping; I like Andrea Linnett’s advice. You’re welcome. The self-hating and misogynistic types here should f-ck right off.

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone have to go the feminism route in these threads?

I like looking in the mirror and feeling pretty and put-together. Many women enjoy trying out different lotions and makeup and hair products. We aren’t doing it to impress a man. We’re doing it because it’s fun. And no I’m not a big makeup gal in the grand scheme of things—but I know I look better with a little bit on. And it’s fun for me to buy a new lip gloss now and again. It doesn’t mean I’m bowing down to the Evil White Man Machine or whatever you guys are blathering on about.

I like feeling feminine and pretty. A little makeup and being in shape makes me feel that way. The End.