What's with the constant put down here of hardworking kids as "Striver" kids"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument reminds me of that preppy phrase "not our kind, dear." The idea that even if someone goes to the right schools, gets the right degrees, right job, lives in the right neighborhood, etc. there were will be people who won't accept them because they're not old money or whatever.

I've realized that I was a striver. My dad was a first generation college attender who made a lot of money. He made sure we had tennis lessons, and private school and music lessons and horse back riding lessons and skiing lessons. I went to the right college, etc. but always knew I was an outsider there. I suspect now that we probably rode the wrong kind of horses or went to the wrong tennis club. I won piano competitions which probably got me labelled as a striver, etc. My father bragged incessantly about us all the time, which again, probably made us strivers.

You have to be pretty darned comfortable to be able to take all that stuff for granted -- the expensive summer camps, the junior year abroad, etc. I remember on my junior year abroad how EXCITED I was about everything -- and how all the old money types were like "France is so boring. I'm just going to have another drink and sleep through the visit to the Louvre because I"ve been a million times before."

I think the opposite of striver is ungrateful and entitled. Also, judgemental and privileged.

Talk about ungrateful.

Your dad did all of this for you and all you took away from it was that it did not impress others. That is pathetic.

Maybe your dad wanted you to enjoy tennis, or horseback riding or Paris... but all you wanted was "old money" to notice you.

Yes, you are a striver, but I doubt your dad was. He was a hard worker. He was just happy to give you what he did not have.

My point is that I don't think there is anything wrong with being a striver or working hard or being excited about seeing Paris, etc. But all of the people on the college threads who think that their child has to go to Harvard so that they can schmooze with their roommate whose dad will get them a job on Wall Street, and so that they can marry money, etc. are woefully misguided. My parents were strivers in the sense that they thought that if they worked hard enough and we worked hard enough we would actually not be middle class anymore or that we could make that magical leap into the upper echelons of society. They thought that Ivy League schools were magical and still can't understand how it is that all the kids in my family are successful but only conventionally successful. And yes, when I see a local family enrolling their TEN YEAR OLD in SAT prep classes all for the pursuit of that elusive Ivy admission because they think that once the kid makes it they will have a magical life, I feel kind of sorry for the child. I think that everything I have now I probably would have also achieved had I attended a good state school and I feel like me and my striver parents spent a lot of time and money on an exercise that didn't really pan out the way they planned. I assume that there are a lot of striver guys and women out there who are probably better lawyers than Brett Kavanaugh, for example, but they were probably strivers who didn't have the right social credentials. Hell, I'm sure a lot of you guys think the Obamas are strivers and secretly look down on them. Pete Buttigieg? Striver. Top student. Pursued prizes like the Rhodes. WOrked too hard. Overachiever. Speaks too many languages. Probaly wouldn't be allowed into one of those old money snooty country clubs.
Striving only gets you so far -- even if it gets you to the WHite House.

Still.dont.get.it

[Anonymous]

I think you may be using the wrong word. People who are overly ambitious, who will cheat and back stab to reach their goal are not held in a good light. Immigrants sometime raise their kids to think it's OK in America. But it's not. Google Lori Loughlin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people reach their 20’s and end up very resentful that they spent their whole life thus far pursuing their parents’ dream instead of their own.

Bingo!

If you feel this way ... your parents were probably strivers.

If you don’t, your parents probably were not.

You’ve invested an astonishing amount of time on this petty thread. I get the overwhelming sense that you are deeply unhappy and disappointed in how your own life is unfolding so you cast about for ways to belittle or minimize the accomplishments of others. And I’m sure you lack the self-awareness to realize how pathetically unhealthy your behavior appears to others.

NP

That’s funny, because after that little screed you look like the unhealthy one to me. Almost as unhealthy as the strivers and their kids, just in a different way...

Lol....NP. Sure you are.

[Anonymous]

If you came to the US illegally and cheated the immigration system, put your kids into the free public schools and cheated the tax payers, you are a striver - working hard to beat the system for your family.

[Anonymous]

This thread is hopeless. Apparently it's not possible to explain this concept, but there are too many people who don't work beyond the surface of language. It's just too much, too soon, I'm also struck by how many people here are confused by the word "cool."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument reminds me of that preppy phrase "not our kind, dear." The idea that even if someone goes to the right schools, gets the right degrees, right job, lives in the right neighborhood, etc. there were will be people who won't accept them because they're not old money or whatever.

I've realized that I was a striver. My dad was a first generation college attender who made a lot of money. He made sure we had tennis lessons, and private school and music lessons and horse back riding lessons and skiing lessons. I went to the right college, etc. but always knew I was an outsider there. I suspect now that we probably rode the wrong kind of horses or went to the wrong tennis club. I won piano competitions which probably got me labelled as a striver, etc. My father bragged incessantly about us all the time, which again, probably made us strivers.

You have to be pretty darned comfortable to be able to take all that stuff for granted -- the expensive summer camps, the junior year abroad, etc. I remember on my junior year abroad how EXCITED I was about everything -- and how all the old money types were like "France is so boring. I'm just going to have another drink and sleep through the visit to the Louvre because I"ve been a million times before."

I think the opposite of striver is ungrateful and entitled. Also, judgemental and privileged.

Talk about ungrateful.

Your dad did all of this for you and all you took away from it was that it did not impress others. That is pathetic.

Maybe your dad wanted you to enjoy tennis, or horseback riding or Paris... but all you wanted was "old money" to notice you.

Yes, you are a striver, but I doubt your dad was. He was a hard worker. He was just happy to give you what he did not have.

My point is that I don't think there is anything wrong with being a striver or working hard or being excited about seeing Paris, etc. But all of the people on the college threads who think that their child has to go to Harvard so that they can schmooze with their roommate whose dad will get them a job on Wall Street, and so that they can marry money, etc. are woefully misguided. My parents were strivers in the sense that they thought that if they worked hard enough and we worked hard enough we would actually not be middle class anymore or that we could make that magical leap into the upper echelons of society. They thought that Ivy League schools were magical and still can't understand how it is that all the kids in my family are successful but only conventionally successful. And yes, when I see a local family enrolling their TEN YEAR OLD in SAT prep classes all for the pursuit of that elusive Ivy admission because they think that once the kid makes it they will have a magical life, I feel kind of sorry for the child. I think that everything I have now I probably would have also achieved had I attended a good state school and I feel like me and my striver parents spent a lot of time and money on an exercise that didn't really pan out the way they planned. I assume that there are a lot of striver guys and women out there who are probably better lawyers than Brett Kavanaugh, for example, but they were probably strivers who didn't have the right social credentials. Hell, I'm sure a lot of you guys think the Obamas are strivers and secretly look down on them. Pete Buttigieg? Striver. Top student. Pursued prizes like the Rhodes. WOrked too hard. Overachiever. Speaks too many languages. Probaly wouldn't be allowed into one of those old money snooty country clubs.
Striving only gets you so far -- even if it gets you to the WHite House.

+1000 old money sits around and waits for your meteoric rise to have a meteoric fall. It is very hard to break in. Families are new for several generations. There is an ongoing feud on many campuses between students who are pre professional v. those who are able to study in academic areas that are creative or academic. Basically, ivy strivers v. old money. And the best clubs and organizations are definitely exclusive and do consider legacy. Strivers are almost always rejected if they are even if a fake school mandated open house is held.
On another thread the OP posted about community college to ivy. The transfer would be treated like they had a highly contagious disease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hopeless. Apparently it's not possible to explain this concept, but there are too many people who don't work beyond the surface of language. It's just too much, too soon, I'm also struck by how many people here are confused by the word "cool."

There is a cultural divide because being a striver, one who wants to win at any cost is positive in some parts of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother was just mentioning the other day how glad he was that our parents were strivers who pushed us, bc otherwise he’d never have the job he has today. His company only hires ppl with Ivy or equivalent degrees for the position he has.

What stupid company does this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hopeless. Apparently it's not possible to explain this concept, but there are too many people who don't work beyond the surface of language. It's just too much, too soon, I'm also struck by how many people here are confused by the word "cool."

why don't you explain what you're trying to say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother was just mentioning the other day how glad he was that our parents were strivers who pushed us, bc otherwise he’d never have the job he has today. His company only hires ppl with Ivy or equivalent degrees for the position he has.

Yay! A workplace full of arrogant Ivy Leagues a$$es looking down there noses at everyone else. What a dream!

[Anonymous]

This thread triggers the desperate strivers and tiger moms raising annoying pests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother was just mentioning the other day how glad he was that our parents were strivers who pushed us, bc otherwise he’d never have the job he has today. His company only hires ppl with Ivy or equivalent degrees for the position he has.

What stupid company does this?

There are tons like that... people spend tons of time proving the opposite but for many elite jobs they require top schools. Even in medicine, academic medicine requires elite credentials. It is not that uncommon if you look at bios. Top schools and a regional top schools are the norm for many good jobs.

[Anonymous]

Meh! I want my kids to be "strivers" if it means that they are not entitled dopeheads and get a chance to a better, educated, successful life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh! I want my kids to be "strivers" if it means that they are not entitled dopeheads and get a chance to a better, educated, successful life.

LOL. You think generational wealth means dopehead???? You think being a striver makes you have successful life???? IDK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hopeless. Apparently it's not possible to explain this concept, but there are too many people who don't work beyond the surface of language. It's just too much, too soon, I'm also struck by how many people here are confused by the word "cool."

why don't you explain what you're trying to say?

I very carefully attempted to do just that, way up thread. I see several others have done the same. Yet it churns on and is only loosing ground.