If you are a housewife, how much does your spouse make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife left the workforce in January 2001 when our first born was six months old and I made 61k a year.

By 2007 I was making 330k and we had three kids. My wife plans on going back to work when youngest starts HS which is 2021.

Ha, yeah right, don't kid yourself buddy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at people who are not working when DH earns 250k or less.

DH earns 1-2m. I stopped working when he hit 800k. We had two kids then. Now we have 3 kids.

If DH earned less, I would have continued to work.

Because some of us don't need a fancy house or cars and manage our money well so we can comfortably live off $200K.

How about college and retirement?

I feel like 200k is the worst because you are disqualified from any financial aid. College will probably be 400k+ per child.

Great state college and healthy retirement funds + hsa.

how can you be so sure your kids will get into that great state college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH makes 2.5 million a year. I've thought about going back to work, as my kids are in full day school, but it wouldn't be for the money (as anything I make would be negligible compared with his salary). And I would want something fulfilling and flexible enough so that I could still be there for the kids when they need me. I haven't come across this yet- this is why I think lots of SAHM focus on volunteer activities.

Wow, what does he do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that the really average things in life is not very average at all. I have had a blissfully average life. My parents were middle class and devoted to each other, As a result I had an average drama free childhood in an intact home. There was no affairs. no divorce, no domestic vil=olence, no addiction, no abuse. I have two siblings who I was close to and continue to be close to. Again, typical aveargae sibling interaction. There was no childhood disease and mentally and physically all of us were in good health.

Then I went to college and met my DH, Got my degree, went on to do my masters, got a job, and got married. Again, no drama. DH and I were each other's first love. No prior relationships, no catching STD, no pregnancies before marriage, not a single mom - single dad situation, no hooloing up with other people. We had a straight forward, drama free, boring average relationship with no baggage.

DH and I, started with a low pay making around 80K, with both of us working in average companies in corporate America. There was nothing immoral or controversial about the products or the companies. It was not guns, or cancer drugs, or Fox News. Neither of us had student debt because our parents paid for our college. We got pregnant easily with both of our kids, I left my job to raise them, bought a nice SFH at the bottom of the market in an average area. Both my kids were healthy. We did not have to pay for IVF or struggle with infertility. Our kids were healthy so we did not have to endure all that special ed parents endure. An average family with average kids. Nothing special about us.

My relationship with my ILs and Parents is average. We all get along and their is no drama. We are not in any consumer debt because we are also careful and frugal, like our parents were. We wear average clothing from stores like Kohls and Macys, we go on average vacations in the US and sometimes abroad, staying in average hotels and not flying business class. We drive average mid-range cars that we keep for 10 years or more. My kids go to public schools in magnet programs because they work hard. They have good academic records but have average EC activities. They will go for STEM careers and we will help them with college just the way our middle class parents did. An average drama free college education. They will aim for State colleges so that they can maximize their education dollars.

And I have realized that my average life of having intact, loving, functional families; a middle class HHI with no debt; a SFH in an affordable locatity; healthy kids; happy marriage; a college education; good health; being able to SAHM; good medical insurance; being able to fund my kids college and our retirement - all of this is exactly what the people are striving for. I have an average life and that makes me very blessed.

I am sure there are people with millions and there will never be a day when I want to be in their shoes. I am very satisfied with my very average life because this is not a life that everyone can get.

This is not average. You are privileged.

[Anonymous]

When husband hit 500k, I stopped working. We have three teens.

[Anonymous]

What do people who make 400k - 500k do for living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that the really average things in life is not very average at all. I have had a blissfully average life. My parents were middle class and devoted to each other, As a result I had an average drama free childhood in an intact home. There was no affairs. no divorce, no domestic vil=olence, no addiction, no abuse. I have two siblings who I was close to and continue to be close to. Again, typical aveargae sibling interaction. There was no childhood disease and mentally and physically all of us were in good health.

Then I went to college and met my DH, Got my degree, went on to do my masters, got a job, and got married. Again, no drama. DH and I were each other's first love. No prior relationships, no catching STD, no pregnancies before marriage, not a single mom - single dad situation, no hooloing up with other people. We had a straight forward, drama free, boring average relationship with no baggage.

DH and I, started with a low pay making around 80K, with both of us working in average companies in corporate America. There was nothing immoral or controversial about the products or the companies. It was not guns, or cancer drugs, or Fox News. Neither of us had student debt because our parents paid for our college. We got pregnant easily with both of our kids, I left my job to raise them, bought a nice SFH at the bottom of the market in an average area. Both my kids were healthy. We did not have to pay for IVF or struggle with infertility. Our kids were healthy so we did not have to endure all that special ed parents endure. An average family with average kids. Nothing special about us.

My relationship with my ILs and Parents is average. We all get along and their is no drama. We are not in any consumer debt because we are also careful and frugal, like our parents were. We wear average clothing from stores like Kohls and Macys, we go on average vacations in the US and sometimes abroad, staying in average hotels and not flying business class. We drive average mid-range cars that we keep for 10 years or more. My kids go to public schools in magnet programs because they work hard. They have good academic records but have average EC activities. They will go for STEM careers and we will help them with college just the way our middle class parents did. An average drama free college education. They will aim for State colleges so that they can maximize their education dollars.

And I have realized that my average life of having intact, loving, functional families; a middle class HHI with no debt; a SFH in an affordable locatity; healthy kids; happy marriage; a college education; good health; being able to SAHM; good medical insurance; being able to fund my kids college and our retirement - all of this is exactly what the people are striving for. I have an average life and that makes me very blessed.

I am sure there are people with millions and there will never be a day when I want to be in their shoes. I am very satisfied with my very average life because this is not a life that everyone can get.

I guess you must be average looking?

Totally. Average looking, average weighing, average SAHM living an average middle class life in an average home in an average neighborhood with average retirement and average college funds for my average kids. Only my happiness, satisfaction and gratefulness is above average.

[Anonymous]

130K

3 kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that the really average things in life is not very average at all. I have had a blissfully average life. My parents were middle class and devoted to each other, As a result I had an average drama free childhood in an intact home. There was no affairs. no divorce, no domestic vil=olence, no addiction, no abuse. I have two siblings who I was close to and continue to be close to. Again, typical aveargae sibling interaction. There was no childhood disease and mentally and physically all of us were in good health.

Then I went to college and met my DH, Got my degree, went on to do my masters, got a job, and got married. Again, no drama. DH and I were each other's first love. No prior relationships, no catching STD, no pregnancies before marriage, not a single mom - single dad situation, no hooloing up with other people. We had a straight forward, drama free, boring average relationship with no baggage.

DH and I, started with a low pay making around 80K, with both of us working in average companies in corporate America. There was nothing immoral or controversial about the products or the companies. It was not guns, or cancer drugs, or Fox News. Neither of us had student debt because our parents paid for our college. We got pregnant easily with both of our kids, I left my job to raise them, bought a nice SFH at the bottom of the market in an average area. Both my kids were healthy. We did not have to pay for IVF or struggle with infertility. Our kids were healthy so we did not have to endure all that special ed parents endure. An average family with average kids. Nothing special about us.

My relationship with my ILs and Parents is average. We all get along and their is no drama. We are not in any consumer debt because we are also careful and frugal, like our parents were. We wear average clothing from stores like Kohls and Macys, we go on average vacations in the US and sometimes abroad, staying in average hotels and not flying business class. We drive average mid-range cars that we keep for 10 years or more. My kids go to public schools in magnet programs because they work hard. They have good academic records but have average EC activities. They will go for STEM careers and we will help them with college just the way our middle class parents did. An average drama free college education. They will aim for State colleges so that they can maximize their education dollars.

And I have realized that my average life of having intact, loving, functional families; a middle class HHI with no debt; a SFH in an affordable locatity; healthy kids; happy marriage; a college education; good health; being able to SAHM; good medical insurance; being able to fund my kids college and our retirement - all of this is exactly what the people are striving for. I have an average life and that makes me very blessed.

I am sure there are people with millions and there will never be a day when I want to be in their shoes. I am very satisfied with my very average life because this is not a life that everyone can get.

This is not average. You are privileged.

Being average is a privilege. Maybe we should try to make America average like the Scandinavian countries instead of trying to make it great, polarized and imbalanced.

I know that my average life is not achieved by many people. People on DCUM put down middle class, educated SAHMs in DMV all the time, but I know that most people want to be in my average shoes. Being born in an intact loving family, getting an education, being healthy, having a home, having a solid marriage and healthy kids, being functional, not having debt, being able fund retirement and college (by living somewhat frugally) all sounds mundane and average but for me its like winning the lottery of life. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

I was a trailing spouse for a while and did not formally work during that period (I freelanced whenever possible and read a lot). I DESPERATELY missed the social life of the workplace. My DH did not make much as a postdoc (55k) during that period and we did not have kids.

Now we are settled and DH is a professor making a bit more in a low cost of living area (95k), and I am back working full time.

Of course I am jealous as hell of women whose husband's make millions and wouldn't mind that one bit. BUT, having that experience as a trailing spouse did show me that I would probably be lonely and unhappy as a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a trailing spouse for a while and did not formally work during that period (I freelanced whenever possible and read a lot). I DESPERATELY missed the social life of the workplace. My DH did not make much as a postdoc (55k) during that period and we did not have kids.

Now we are settled and DH is a professor making a bit more in a low cost of living area (95k), and I am back working full time.

Of course I am jealous as hell of women whose husband's make millions and wouldn't mind that one bit. BUT, having that experience as a trailing spouse did show me that I would probably be lonely and unhappy as a SAHM.

You were not a SAHM when you were a trailing wife. But, you are right that it can be isolating in some ways if you don't love being with kids all the time and have your support system in place. Being a SAHM is not for everyone. Do you have kids now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a trailing spouse for a while and did not formally work during that period (I freelanced whenever possible and read a lot). I DESPERATELY missed the social life of the workplace. My DH did not make much as a postdoc (55k) during that period and we did not have kids.

Now we are settled and DH is a professor making a bit more in a low cost of living area (95k), and I am back working full time.

Of course I am jealous as hell of women whose husband's make millions and wouldn't mind that one bit. BUT, having that experience as a trailing spouse did show me that I would probably be lonely and unhappy as a SAHM.

You were not a SAHM when you were a trailing wife. But, you are right that it can be isolating in some ways if you don't love being with kids all the time and have your support system in place. Being a SAHM is not for everyone. Do you have kids now?

OP said housewife not SAHM.

We do not have kids yet but we are trying now. Expectation is that I will continue to work, both because I discovered that I like working more than I realized, and because it would take a very high HHI relative to living expenses for me to feel safe with one income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH makes 2.5 million a year. I've thought about going back to work, as my kids are in full day school, but it wouldn't be for the money (as anything I make would be negligible compared with his salary). And I would want something fulfilling and flexible enough so that I could still be there for the kids when they need me. I haven't come across this yet- this is why I think lots of SAHM focus on volunteer activities.

Wow, what does he do?

Law firm partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have realized that the really average things in life is not very average at all. I have had a blissfully average life. My parents were middle class and devoted to each other, As a result I had an average drama free childhood in an intact home. There was no affairs. no divorce, no domestic vil=olence, no addiction, no abuse. I have two siblings who I was close to and continue to be close to. Again, typical aveargae sibling interaction. There was no childhood disease and mentally and physically all of us were in good health.

Then I went to college and met my DH, Got my degree, went on to do my masters, got a job, and got married. Again, no drama. DH and I were each other's first love. No prior relationships, no catching STD, no pregnancies before marriage, not a single mom - single dad situation, no hooloing up with other people. We had a straight forward, drama free, boring average relationship with no baggage.

DH and I, started with a low pay making around 80K, with both of us working in average companies in corporate America. There was nothing immoral or controversial about the products or the companies. It was not guns, or cancer drugs, or Fox News. Neither of us had student debt because our parents paid for our college. We got pregnant easily with both of our kids, I left my job to raise them, bought a nice SFH at the bottom of the market in an average area. Both my kids were healthy. We did not have to pay for IVF or struggle with infertility. Our kids were healthy so we did not have to endure all that special ed parents endure. An average family with average kids. Nothing special about us.

My relationship with my ILs and Parents is average. We all get along and their is no drama. We are not in any consumer debt because we are also careful and frugal, like our parents were. We wear average clothing from stores like Kohls and Macys, we go on average vacations in the US and sometimes abroad, staying in average hotels and not flying business class. We drive average mid-range cars that we keep for 10 years or more. My kids go to public schools in magnet programs because they work hard. They have good academic records but have average EC activities. They will go for STEM careers and we will help them with college just the way our middle class parents did. An average drama free college education. They will aim for State colleges so that they can maximize their education dollars.

And I have realized that my average life of having intact, loving, functional families; a middle class HHI with no debt; a SFH in an affordable locatity; healthy kids; happy marriage; a college education; good health; being able to SAHM; good medical insurance; being able to fund my kids college and our retirement - all of this is exactly what the people are striving for. I have an average life and that makes me very blessed.

I am sure there are people with millions and there will never be a day when I want to be in their shoes. I am very satisfied with my very average life because this is not a life that everyone can get.

What is your definition of average? What is your HHI and net worth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I never hear SAHMs tell WOHMs to quit work and be home, but I always hear WOHMs tell SAHMs that they should work outside the home for pay. I find that misery loves company and WOHMs are just so jealous of the luxe lifestyle of DCUM SAHMs.

+1 I am a SAHM whose husband makes over 1 M annually. One of my best friends is a WOHM trying to make partner. I always listen to her regarding her career and give her encouragement. But every time I tell her something that could be bothering me she insinuates it’s because I don’t have a job. The last time I mentioned the ideal for my daughters would be high paying jobs with flexibility she said I had offended her, but I never say anything when she basically tells me that a job would solve all my problems.

She’s not really your friend. I have friends who are WOHMs and they never say these things.