My husband is very stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you have some severe personality issues. It drops from your first few posts.
I can't speak for the type of person DH is but I am so glad I am not married to you. Ugh.

OP is a narcissistic control freak and a terrible person. Her poor husband.

I find that in situations like this, both parties have issues. OP is probably correct that her husband as poor executive functioning skills, but she probably has issues of her own that she may not be aware of.

The best bet would be therapy. Both individual and couples.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all nine pages, but after reading OP's first two posts, I'm guessing OP is a type-A control freak, DH is more ladi back and walks on eggshells aroudn here always certian that no matter what he does she will find fault. And she will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my sister is married to a guy just like this. None of us can figure out why. He is nice. But she also really likes to be in control. She basically treats him like another child in the house. She doesn't even bother to tell him anything about the kids, the house etc. This works for them because she is a SAHM though. You guys are poorly matched. He won't change unless he starts medicating. He may also just be lazy and dumb.

I don't think these people are as poorly matched as they seem.

I am a man, I have my shit together, I am not ADHD or immature or whatever, but there is also no way would I ever let my wife treat me the way we know OP treats her husband. Honestly, I'm very traditional and I want to be running the family ship in most ways. My DW doesn't mind and actually I think she prefers it.

You can have control and a hen-pecked emasculated husband or you can find someone with their shit together but then they aren't going to put up with your domineering behaviour and bad attitude. As far as I can tell, OP married the sort of man she deserves.

If OP's husband had her shit together, she possibly wouldn't have to be that angry...I mean, wouldn't you be angry if you discovered kids weren't fed?

But OPs personality flaws would repel any man with his shit together, leaving her stuck with the dregs to begin with.

I'll admit she's stuck in a catch-22 here. At this point she's probably messed up her life to a certain extent. They both need counseling and the goal really needs to vebyo not pass this dysfunction onto their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all nine pages, but after reading OP's first two posts, I'm guessing OP is a type-A control freak, DH is more ladi back and walks on eggshells aroudn here always certian that no matter what he does she will find fault. And she will.

You should read the thread and see how she treats people who disagree with her. That will help shine light on why we are being so harsh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my sister is married to a guy just like this. None of us can figure out why. He is nice. But she also really likes to be in control. She basically treats him like another child in the house. She doesn't even bother to tell him anything about the kids, the house etc. This works for them because she is a SAHM though. You guys are poorly matched. He won't change unless he starts medicating. He may also just be lazy and dumb.

I don't think these people are as poorly matched as they seem.

I am a man, I have my shit together, I am not ADHD or immature or whatever, but there is also no way would I ever let my wife treat me the way we know OP treats her husband. Honestly, I'm very traditional and I want to be running the family ship in most ways. My DW doesn't mind and actually I think she prefers it.

You can have control and a hen-pecked emasculated husband or you can find someone with their shit together but then they aren't going to put up with your domineering behaviour and bad attitude. As far as I can tell, OP married the sort of man she deserves.

That's great your the Man of the House. THat is not however, OP's husband at all. I'd like to know the last time he PLANNED anything not worked related.

[Anonymous]

I hope the OP comes back....if nothing else, she is entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Would be great to pair this thread with one of the "DC Urban Dad's" threads about how our controlling, petty, anxious, and nag-filled wives are ruining our lives. I can and do remember the important stuff. I will not attempt to remember your BS preferences - DS needs to eat this and only this, you need to fold the laundry this way, buy the pink napkins not the white ones, blah blah blah. Please read the "stop caring" thread, and do your best to calm down and just let your husband do things just as well as you are - just not your way. This will result in much less drama, complaining, nit picking, etc.

You sound angry and bitter or maybe just dumb like OP’s DH. None of the things OP mentions are petty. You think overdosing the kid on controlled drugs is about BS preferences? Some of you are so unhappy in your lives that you can’t actually process someone else’s very different situation without projecting yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my sister is married to a guy just like this. None of us can figure out why. He is nice. But she also really likes to be in control. She basically treats him like another child in the house. She doesn't even bother to tell him anything about the kids, the house etc. This works for them because she is a SAHM though. You guys are poorly matched. He won't change unless he starts medicating. He may also just be lazy and dumb.

I don't think these people are as poorly matched as they seem.

I am a man, I have my shit together, I am not ADHD or immature or whatever, but there is also no way would I ever let my wife treat me the way we know OP treats her husband. Honestly, I'm very traditional and I want to be running the family ship in most ways. My DW doesn't mind and actually I think she prefers it.

You can have control and a hen-pecked emasculated husband or you can find someone with their shit together but then they aren't going to put up with your domineering behaviour and bad attitude. As far as I can tell, OP married the sort of man she deserves.

What are you whining about? Only a sick jerk would find a way to blame a woman for her husband not feeding the kids. Are you off your meds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry him?

Because ADHD impacts multi-tasking, and frequently people get married before getting promoted to upper management, before having kids to pile on more responsibilities, before being homeowners, before having to care for elderly parents, all at the same time. And when life becomes a little complicated, this is when people with ADHD start not being able to cope. A young single person with no responsibilities expect to hold down one simple job will rarely exhibit any symptoms.

There were signs before, it's stated in the OP. There were signs for you too.
If you chose to overlook certain flags, for whatever reason, don't play victim just own the fact that you chose poorly. It doesn't make you a horrible person to admit that.

[Anonymous]

I started this thread on p.7 because I knew the hit dogs would have overrun the thread by then. Sure enough, MRA, lazy husband, braindead wife and others who play the lazy idiot in someone else’s life is here to bash op.

How dare op think a man who is a risk to his child is subpar? How emasculating!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all nine pages, but after reading OP's first two posts, I'm guessing OP is a type-A control freak, DH is more ladi back and walks on eggshells aroudn here always certian that no matter what he does she will find fault. And she will.

You should read the thread and see how she treats people who disagree with her. That will help shine light on why we are being so harsh.

Tbf, people tried that dcum thing where they take swipes at the OP. It’s just that this OP is snappy with the comebacks, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started this thread on p.7 because I knew the hit dogs would have overrun the thread by then. Sure enough, MRA, lazy husband, braindead wife and others who play the lazy idiot in someone else’s life is here to bash op.

How dare op think a man who is a risk to his child is subpar? How emasculating!!

You misread my posts.

I never claimed OP's husband wasn't subpart. I claimed that due to her noxious personality, as displayed clearly across all those pages you skipped, would repel any man who wasn't, so she was hound to end up with a loser from the get go and deserves her fate.

It's a very blunt position and I pulled few punches but I did not blame OP for correctly recognizing her husband was a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started this thread on p.7 because I knew the hit dogs would have overrun the thread by then. Sure enough, MRA, lazy husband, braindead wife and others who play the lazy idiot in someone else’s life is here to bash op.

How dare op think a man who is a risk to his child is subpar? How emasculating!!

You misread my posts.

I never claimed OP's husband wasn't subpart. I claimed that due to her noxious personality, as displayed clearly across all those pages you skipped, would repel any man who wasn't, so she was hound to end up with a loser from the get go and deserves her fate.

It's a very blunt position and I pulled few punches but I did not blame OP for correctly recognizing her husband was a loser.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started this thread on p.7 because I knew the hit dogs would have overrun the thread by then. Sure enough, MRA, lazy husband, braindead wife and others who play the lazy idiot in someone else’s life is here to bash op.

How dare op think a man who is a risk to his child is subpar? How emasculating!!

You misread my posts.

I never claimed OP's husband wasn't subpart. I claimed that due to her noxious personality, as displayed clearly across all those pages you skipped, would repel any man who wasn't, so she was hound to end up with a loser from the get go and deserves her fate.

It's a very blunt position and I pulled few punches but I did not blame OP for correctly recognizing her husband was a loser.

PP. You really must be a hit dog. The post you quoted didn’t point to any particular post, yet you responded as if she was talking about you. Which one are you: the MRA, lazy husband, or braindead wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started this thread on p.7 because I knew the hit dogs would have overrun the thread by then. Sure enough, MRA, lazy husband, braindead wife and others who play the lazy idiot in someone else’s life is here to bash op.

How dare op think a man who is a risk to his child is subpar? How emasculating!!

You misread my posts.

I never claimed OP's husband wasn't subpart. I claimed that due to her noxious personality, as displayed clearly across all those pages you skipped, would repel any man who wasn't, so she was hound to end up with a loser from the get go and deserves her fate.

It's a very blunt position and I pulled few punches but I did not blame OP for correctly recognizing her husband was a loser.

PP. You really must be a hit dog. The post you quoted didn’t point to any particular post, yet you responded as if she was talking about you. Which one are you: the MRA, lazy husband, or braindead wife?

Maybe all of the above??? Muhahahaha!

In all seriousness, OP deserves every ounce of flak she's getting and more. Otherwise she'll never learn.

Some people think of life as just a giant conspiracy of events designed to screw them over and can't even conceive about how their own behaviour leads to certain outcomes.

Sometimes people are in the wrong place at the wrong time but in a free country like this most people substantially impact their fate through their own choice and behaviour.

It's obvious to me as well as others on this thread that OP must be s nightmare to live with. So even generously assuming OP is describing the situation wholly accurately, tell us, why does she deserve a man more competent than the one that's at least resigned to put up with her so far?