DH's ex wife

[Anonymous]

ExWife shouldn't be too comfortable at the current wife house even if her son and exdh are there. No matter what. Its not insecurity. It's basic courtesy.

I wouldn't want her to think, " oh, current wife is fine with me coming here, act like this is my house too,that I can come whenever I want." NO.

Exwife has access to her son whenever he is with her custody. Her son needs to understand that his parents are divorced, and this is how life is.

[Anonymous]

I would not be ok with that at all. It's not about insecurity. It's about boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, OP. All that sneaking around, in full view of your daughter and the nanny. I'm surprised she didn't whip out her breasts and demand that he do her right there in the foyer.

[Anonymous]

LOL PP! Can't stop laughing, brilliant image!

[Anonymous]

I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

Yes but they're not. Which isn't really a big deal, at least to keep dwelling on it. Just keep a umbrella in your car, that's what I do.

[Anonymous]

Pp, I get that your ex's new wife came into the picture long after you were already remarried, so it sounds like she wasn't an "OW." my ex had an affair and if he marries the OW, I fully intend to implement similar rules as you described to keep her the hell out of my life and space. I don't care if it's rude. She was rude when she slept with my husband.

Yes, my ex is also a loser, and I ONLY communicate with him about the children. Nothing more, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses really surprise me. So all of you women who married a man with an ex, you are totally cool with that ex being in your home whenever she feels like it, when you aren't home? I'm a re-married man who gets along with my ex just fine but not even my ex is dumb enough to think that's OK and I sure as hell wouldn't allow it out of respect for my W. I'd also respect my exW's husband enough to not be dropping in and spending time in his house whenever I felt like it when he wasn't home.

Once in a while? Sure. But as a regular thing? NFW.

Why is it disrespectful to your wife if your ex is around all the time. I am genuinely curious. OP's ex is around when her son and his father are around. it's not like the ex is hanging out one on one with the father. Their son is there with them. What is disrespectful about this?

It's disrespectful because it's calculated to happen when OP is not around.

This is her house. She has every right to set the rules on what's OK and what isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp, I get that your ex's new wife came into the picture long after you were already remarried, so it sounds like she wasn't an "OW." my ex had an affair and if he marries the OW, I fully intend to implement similar rules as you described to keep her the hell out of my life and space. I don't care if it's rude. She was rude when she slept with my husband.

Yes, my ex is also a loser, and I ONLY communicate with him about the children. Nothing more, ever.

That's different because the OW isn't a parent. As I understand, the PP and her ex have a child together. If mom is coming to collect her child, it's damn rude to make her stand outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

I can't believe people are this insecure. You make someone wait on the porch because you are so terrified of your space being violated? I feel for the men married to these insecure ladies. But once they cheat they will be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

What?

My ex-husband and his new wife are just as much my daughter's parents as I and my new husband are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important for everyone responding to note that OP has not been back to this thread.

I'm the ex-wife, and my ex-husband's new wife made a rule that I wasn't allowed inside their house. Her justification was that they were "trying to build their own space" and apparently, me coming in out of the rain to get my ex to sign some paperwork about camp when picking up my daughter really disrupted "their own space" somehow.

It was a very clear signal about what she expected everyone's relationship to be going forward, and that my ex was fine with this rule was a clear signal that he cared more about her comfort than our ability to communicate cordially about DD. Other examples include that he is apparently not allowed to email me without including her on the emails. I thought it was weird that any time I emailed him, he'd write back CC-ing her so I asked him about it and he said "Wife isn't comfortable with us having any kind of private communication."

I was already remarried when they got together and frankly, her objections to me and my ex "being alone together" even in the context of an email and her refusal to allow me to enter their house at all (like, they literally make me wait on the porch if I have to bring anything there for DD or am picking her up) makes her seem pretty pathetic.

You can talk about DD without being inside their home. The emails seem a bit much but why would it bother you he was cc her? Maybe it was to let her know of upcoming plans or visits from DD. She's also parenting and is an adult in charge when DD is there. Either way we didn't allow our exes inside our home.
Would you be ok with step mom coming inside your home? If everyone is ok with that, it's perfectly fine. If one adult isn't comfortable that's ok too. People have different privacy settings and boundaries.

Frankly, I don't care how uncomfortable she was. It is unbelievably rude to make a person stand outside in the rain when they come over to pick up their child. I'm telling you, she answered the door, then said, "Wait here" and closed it in my face while she went to go find my ex. A polite person would not behave that way. I am not talking about standing around talking. I'm talking about a blanket policy of not allowing me to go inside their house for any reason or duration, period. It is weird and made me think that maybe she should have chosen a partner who had not been married and had a child with someone else previously.

She and my ex are both welcome in my home, which is also my DD's home. They are her parents too. We have had birthday parties at my house for DD, and they were both welcome and did attend without issue.

Yeah, I've stood outside in 10 degree weather after bringing a requested item to my kid's other home. It is very rude, but it reflects on their character not mine.