Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

I guess the DCUM forums have been starved for vacation drama this year.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP with the, ahem, stomach flu.

It's not that this really is any objectively big deal, and it's not that I don't value family. I do. I think you can express that value in different ways.

It's no big deal because yeah, the kids can eat other food for awhile. If it were just me and DH, I'm sure we could punt through it without any fuss. But kids, especially picky eaters, at an emotionally sensitive time when people are peobably already feeling defensive, or at the very least stretched thin?

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts one of my kids (despite prep) would forget and say "this isn't as good as your chicken nuggets," or "why can't you make the good pizza?" I mean, it's 5 days of family with a new baby in the great beyond. They're going to be tired and stressed too. They won't be able to be on best behavior for the whole time, even if trying not to be rude. And they might meltdown, or cry -- and there's probably already some discussion going on with the new baby's family, and grandma is goign to feel like she has to stick up for someone, and . . . ugh.

I can value family by spending some extra money just this year in order to keep the smouldering branch of my picky kids (I know my kids) from landing in that tinderbox,a nd I can do it in a way that keeps any breath of judgement about anyone's choices out of the mix. I just wouldn't be able to have that much control if we went and could not get away.

No judgement on anyone that would go,t hough. You know your own kids, marriage, family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound pretty inflexible. You, for example, think vacation is ruined if ice cream can't be eaten in a cone! There are gf sugar and regular cones, or, heaven forbid, they can eat it in a bowl. Or have a Klondike bar.

Target carries Applegate gf chicken nuggets and corn dogs.

The cone is where OP loses all credibility for me, too. Ice cream in a dish, FFS. Your snowflakes will live.

[Anonymous]

I have to smile with the wisdom of age - both families sound to me like parents of young children - each inflexible in their own way without realizing it. Op, I think it is reasonable for you to ask for only one kitchen to be GF. But, I also think it would be easier than you realize for your kids to eat GF for a week - it is hard for you to imagine because you haven't done it, but there are so many GF substitutes for what you name as kid-friendly foods, like chicken nuggets (half the time I accidentally buy GF nuggets because you cant trip without hitting some in the store), GF cereals (most of the chex cereals, and lots of sugary ones if that is your thing), Vans GF waffles and pancakes - all of these are sold at Target. Also rice, potato chips and french fries are naturally GF - most kids like those - pair with with a hot dog and that is a classic american kid friendly meal. But it will not starve your kids for them to eat grilled chicken strips instead of chicken nuggets for 5 days. What if you travelled to another country? Not too likely you'd get chicken nuggets and pizza on the menu. Kids adapt, usually better than adults ...

[Anonymous]

OP, there is no way I would take this trip unless someone caved and gave up one of the kitchens as not GF.

No. way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My vote is to suck it up since this is the first time you have stayed with them since your nephew was diagnosed. They are in crisis mode, trying to figure out how to prevent their son from being sick all the time. Try some of the gluten free products folks have recommended, and Google to see which brands of bread/pasta/etc people find better than others.

After you have done this, in the future ask for the cabin. They ARE being unreasonable, but I would give them some time to figure it out.

This. Jesus Christ, sometimes when you are the one lucky enough to not have a problem you have to shoulder a more annoying burden so that those you presumably love can have something going a little easier, you take their burden when theirs is a bit too heavy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My vote is to suck it up since this is the first time you have stayed with them since your nephew was diagnosed. They are in crisis mode, trying to figure out how to prevent their son from being sick all the time. Try some of the gluten free products folks have recommended, and Google to see which brands of bread/pasta/etc people find better than others.

After you have done this, in the future ask for the cabin. They ARE being unreasonable, but I would give them some time to figure it out.

This. Jesus Christ, sometimes when you are the one lucky enough to not have a problem you have to shoulder a more annoying burden so that those you presumably love can have something going a little easier, you take their burden when theirs is a bit too heavy.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

They don't need two gluten free kitchens. Reach out to the other mom and say hey, we want to be sure not to get your kid sick, which kitchen should we use for our kids food? I don't understand why both kitchens have to be gluten free. If it were just one day it would be easy not to serve gluten; but 5 days? They can't claim both kitchens.

[Anonymous]

Why do PPs keep bringing up two kitchens? OP said that the second kitchen is a kitchenette, with just a microwave for food prep. That's not sufficient for either family. I think some compromise on OP's side will be the only way to go.

The only full kitchen stays GF. There are plenty of GF options for kid friendly favorites, and OP should just substitute the GF options for a week for most meals. It's a good life learning lesson for kids that traveling means food can be different. Of course her kids won't starve with GF substitutes for a week. The celiac kids needs are more important.

However, if OP must have gluten bread and pb&j or anything else that can cross contaminate, she should store these things in the kitchenette and prepare food there. Obviously, she can only do microwave meals there, so it seems logical to keep it simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do PPs keep bringing up two kitchens? OP said that the second kitchen is a kitchenette, with just a microwave for food prep. That's not sufficient for either family. I think some compromise on OP's side will be the only way to go.

The only full kitchen stays GF. There are plenty of GF options for kid friendly favorites, and OP should just substitute the GF options for a week for most meals. It's a good life learning lesson for kids that traveling means food can be different. Of course her kids won't starve with GF substitutes for a week. The celiac kids needs are more important.

However, if OP must have gluten bread and pb&j or anything else that can cross contaminate, she should store these things in the kitchenette and prepare food there. Obviously, she can only do microwave meals there, so it seems logical to keep it simple.

OP here - because I don't have access to the kitchenette because BIL and SIL have reserved the guest cabin. I would do this in a heartbeat and wouldn't have even posted if I were able to use the kitchenette. For all you who say 'what if you travel out of the country' - we've been out of the country 5 times with our kids, and I just bring a cooler/ bag with the foods they will eat. They can last for a week on pb& j - but I haven't found any GF bread that I can get past any of us. I actually bought a bunch of stuff to try (noodles, bread, etc) so it isn't as if I am not trying, but we haven't had much success and I don't want to spend 5 days (not to mention thousands in plane tix and rental car) with hungry grumpy kids if I can find a reasonable way to bridge this gap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do PPs keep bringing up two kitchens? OP said that the second kitchen is a kitchenette, with just a microwave for food prep. That's not sufficient for either family. I think some compromise on OP's side will be the only way to go.

The only full kitchen stays GF. There are plenty of GF options for kid friendly favorites, and OP should just substitute the GF options for a week for most meals. It's a good life learning lesson for kids that traveling means food can be different. Of course her kids won't starve with GF substitutes for a week. The celiac kids needs are more important.

However, if OP must have gluten bread and pb&j or anything else that can cross contaminate, she should store these things in the kitchenette and prepare food there. Obviously, she can only do microwave meals there, so it seems logical to keep it simple.

OP here - because I don't have access to the kitchenette because BIL and SIL have reserved the guest cabin. I would do this in a heartbeat and wouldn't have even posted if I were able to use the kitchenette. For all you who say 'what if you travel out of the country' - we've been out of the country 5 times with our kids, and I just bring a cooler/ bag with the foods they will eat. They can last for a week on pb& j - but I haven't found any GF bread that I can get past any of us. I actually bought a bunch of stuff to try (noodles, bread, etc) so it isn't as if I am not trying, but we haven't had much success and I don't want to spend 5 days (not to mention thousands in plane tix and rental car) with hungry grumpy kids if I can find a reasonable way to bridge this gap.

Why can't you keep a some bread in your room, and give them pb&j there? Just make sure the door stays closed and the 2 year old stays out of the room. That seems easier than switching things around so that the potentially crying baby is in the building with the elderly people waking them up at night.

You wouldn't even need a cooler, because bread is fine at room temperature, and you could store cheese in the fridge (if your kids will eat a cheese sandwich) to switch things up.

It seems more reasonable to ask an older kid to sit through a meal with some foods they'll eat (e.g. you said they'd eat hamburger, a variety of fruits, and a yogurt, don't know about corn or potatoes) and some they won't (meat, gluten free pasta etc . . . ) and then go back to their room for a snack, then it is to ask a 2 year old to sit at a table with food he would very much like to eat and can't.

[Anonymous]

NP. My celiac is 8, diagnosed at 5.

Making the transition to GF was rough. Keeping a 2 year old out of food in a group setting is tough. Having a newborn is both. If you can find it in you to try I'm sure your BIL & SIL will really appreciate it. Its easier for us with an older kid and time that has made it all easier on all of us. But I still really appreciate the efforts my family makes to accommodate my kid.

That said - what do your kids normally eat? My kids are pretty typical, somewhat picky eaters so I can probably help find GF foods for you.

Off the top of my head here is a short list of foods I might buy if I were planning to buy GF from Targe. Lots more suggestions if you provide guidance on your regular meals

Breakfast:
-GF cereal: Cheerios (any of the GF varieties which include regular & honey nut), corn varieties of Chex, Gorilla Munch, Panda Puffs, etc
-egg tacos on corn tortillas
-yogurt
-fruit
-GF freezer waffles

Lunch / dinner
-cheese quesadillas on corn tortillas
-GF pasta however you like it. I vote Barilla brand. Trick is to cook it to los end Of time Rangel on a *gentle* boíl, stirring frequently
-rice
-potatoes
-corn
-chicken nuggets. From a box of homemade. Dip in cornmeal or GF breadcrumbs
-meats and veggies however you normally make them

Snacks
-Tostitos, popcorn, potato chips, Pirates booty, etc.
-GF pretzels (Expensive but taste almost identical.)
-Annie's GF granola bars. Taste the same, you just pay a markup that the box has 5 instead of 6

[Anonymous]

22:17. Eek, apologize for typos. Hopefully it was still intelligible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do PPs keep bringing up two kitchens? OP said that the second kitchen is a kitchenette, with just a microwave for food prep. That's not sufficient for either family. I think some compromise on OP's side will be the only way to go.

The only full kitchen stays GF. There are plenty of GF options for kid friendly favorites, and OP should just substitute the GF options for a week for most meals. It's a good life learning lesson for kids that traveling means food can be different. Of course her kids won't starve with GF substitutes for a week. The celiac kids needs are more important.

However, if OP must have gluten bread and pb&j or anything else that can cross contaminate, she should store these things in the kitchenette and prepare food there. Obviously, she can only do microwave meals there, so it seems logical to keep it simple.

OP here - because I don't have access to the kitchenette because BIL and SIL have reserved the guest cabin. I would do this in a heartbeat and wouldn't have even posted if I were able to use the kitchenette. For all you who say 'what if you travel out of the country' - we've been out of the country 5 times with our kids, and I just bring a cooler/ bag with the foods they will eat. They can last for a week on pb& j - but I haven't found any GF bread that I can get past any of us. I actually bought a bunch of stuff to try (noodles, bread, etc) so it isn't as if I am not trying, but we haven't had much success and I don't want to spend 5 days (not to mention thousands in plane tix and rental car) with hungry grumpy kids if I can find a reasonable way to bridge this gap.

Time to teach empathy. Imagine if GF was the only kind of bread you could eat. It is easy to be picky about it if you have a choice. Help your children see it from their cousin's viewpoint. "We are going to help our Cousin Arthur, he has a disease ad can only eat certain foods, so this week we will only eat what Cousin Arthur can eat."

[Anonymous]

As a parent with one Celiac and one "picky" kid, you can do this, we do it every day. the applegate farms GF chicken nuggets and the Freschetta GF cheese pizza both pass muster as does the Annies GF mac and cheese. There are also GF goldfish and yes Giant even has GF ice cream cones. By far the best GF bread is Canyon Bakehouse, try it. Cheerios and Lucky Charms are also GF. With a two year old, I'd be really nervous about that child picking up a cracker or even crumbs and eating them. it sucks but as a celiac parent, you have to be vigilant. i'd take a Grandma who tries hard to create a safe environment versus my family who thinks its all made up and refuses to take it seriously and then gets hurt when we wont come over for dinner