Bringing your own toys to the playground-what's the etiquette?

[Anonymous]

This is just so weird to me. We live in an apartment with no yard. If my kids want to play outside we have to go to a park, and sometimes my kids just run around and play on the playground, and sometimes we bring a ball to play catch or a frisbee, or some other activity that requires an outdoor space. OP are you saying my kids don't get to bring a ball to the park (and therefore never get to play catch, because again, no yard) because it's distracting for your kid? You sound like a tone deaf and elitist piece of work.

[Anonymous]

I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

[Anonymous]

The dad sounds like he's a bit of a dick but he's really not obligated to engage with your toddler. Think of it as one of many future learning moments for your kid about respecting other peoples' boundaries and, most importantly, you don't always get what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dad sounds like he's a bit of a dick but he's really not obligated to engage with your toddler. Think of it as one of many future learning moments for your kid about respecting other peoples' boundaries and, most importantly, you don't always get what you want.

Why is dad being a dick for wanting to only play with his kid? My husband is usually the one to go to the playground and he constantly comments that kids flock to him as generally he and maybe one-two other parents are actually engaging the kids and helping them vs. just chatting or on their phones. Toddlers cannot often do the equipment alone, same as older kids. They need to be lifted, spotted, etc. OP is probably the mom who wants to sit back and let someone else babysit her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The dad sounds like he's a bit of a dick but he's really not obligated to engage with your toddler. Think of it as one of many future learning moments for your kid about respecting other peoples' boundaries and, most importantly, you don't always get what you want.

Why is dad being a dick for wanting to only play with his kid? My husband is usually the one to go to the playground and he constantly comments that kids flock to him as generally he and maybe one-two other parents are actually engaging the kids and helping them vs. just chatting or on their phones. Toddlers cannot often do the equipment alone, same as older kids. They need to be lifted, spotted, etc. OP is probably the mom who wants to sit back and let someone else babysit her kid.

Yeah that's really how the OP sounds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The dad sounds like he's a bit of a dick but he's really not obligated to engage with your toddler. Think of it as one of many future learning moments for your kid about respecting other peoples' boundaries and, most importantly, you don't always get what you want.

Why is dad being a dick for wanting to only play with his kid? My husband is usually the one to go to the playground and he constantly comments that kids flock to him as generally he and maybe one-two other parents are actually engaging the kids and helping them vs. just chatting or on their phones. Toddlers cannot often do the equipment alone, same as older kids. They need to be lifted, spotted, etc. OP is probably the mom who wants to sit back and let someone else babysit her kid.

Hah - this is my husband, too. Somehow half the playground wants to get involved in whatever game my husband and our son have cooked up. Sometimes they want the company, sometimes they don't. It's a hard balance but mostly they go along w/letting other kids play w/them as long as they aren't causing problems and my son doesn't feel overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone brought their frisbee thing to our small but adequate 0-3 playground. I was there with my 18 mo-we were by ourselves initially. I was happy when another kid showed up with his dad. In fact, I know the kid. He's threeish. He and his dad started playing frisbee. Of course my DS was interested and once he saw them, he didn't want to go down the slides etc. The dad wasn't particularly welcoming, and neither was the kid. As soon as my son stopped what he was doing to watch them, the kid shrieked "no baby no baby!" Every time my son made a move in the direction of the frisbee, I had to grab him and redirect him bc given the reaction when we LOOKED at the kid, I can't imagine the reaction if my son had actually made physical contact with the frisbee. It got especially annoying because I took him to the other side of the playground equipment (and was literally carrying up the steps to the slides because he really wasn't interested and just wanted to play with the other kid), but their frisbee kept landing near us, and I had to correct DS 2-3 times. "Larlo is playing with that toy". "That's Larlo's toy" etc. The only other time I experienced this was at a larger playground, and a dad brought his son and a soccer ball. They were kicking it around, but several kids immediately asked to play, and the dad graciously made a ball game for all of them instead of just trying to play with his son. So anyway, what's the etiquette? I found it quite annoying that this pair showed up to a toddler playground with their own toy. We ended up leaving the playground early because it was such a hassle to keep distracting my kid from their game.

I really, really don't think the kid "shrieked" that just when your baby looked at the toy. Maybe at one point when he reached for it, which you don't mention here.

That's exactly what you are supposed to do, redirect your baby. You did a good job there.

[Anonymous]

To answer your question, "Is it annoying?" I'd say "yes". When you have a toddler there are lots of things that are annoying.

It's annoying when you go to the grocery store, manage to get past the cookie aisle without your kid noticing and then turn to corner to find another mom feeding her kids cookies, causing your child to remember that there are cookies at the grocery store and start begging.

It's annoying when your kid is excited to get on the elevator, and then you get on and it turns out that the person who got on the floor before is going the same place and has already pushed the 7.

It's annoying when you spend 45 minutes packing the diaper bag, trying the potty, getting the correct clothes on, and it starts to rain as you walk out the door to the park.

It's annoying when you finally get a good sleep routine going and then it's daylight savings.

It's also annoying when you are planning a fun outing to the park and it turns out to be no fun at all because your kid is obsessed with someone else's toy.

All of these things are annoying, but none of them are things you can prevent, or should try and prevent. You just got to swear under your breath, and put one foot in front of the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were playing with a "big kid" toy that was not appropriate for your baby to play with. Most likely, dad gave the preschooler a lecture when he saw your kid how he had to be very careful not to throw it at your baby because frisbees being thrown are not safe for little babies and toddlers.

Your kid could not throw the frisbee, catch th frisbee or play with it in a remotely appropriate way. There is a very good chance that if ge go a hold of it he would have a meltdown if they tried to get it back. Since your kid was too young to safely or reasonably play with the frisbee the way they were playing, of course they didn't want to include him.

This is on you. Everyone does not need to change their play so an uninvited baby can join in.

+ 1000

[Anonymous]

HOLY COW, OP.

Seriously? No, it is 100% fine for people to bring their own toys to the playground and play with them without sharing. E.g., bikes, scooters, frisbees, sand toys, etc. Yes, it's lovely if they share. But no, it's not required by etiquette AT ALL.

You sound insufferable. Yes, toddlers are frustrating and don't understand not being able to play with everything they see. But we've all been there and we've all had to distract and teach (slowly) that not everything they see is something they are entitled to. Ultimately, this is on YOU as a parent to model and deal with.

Ugh, you just sound awful, awful, awful. You are so awful. That poor dad and son who just wanted to spend some nice time together -- your crazy mind has twisted them into villains. AWFUL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

Good lord. A little toddler is interested in what you and your son are doing, totally appropriately, and the lesson you want to teach is, "No we don't have to include others if we don't feel like it. Ignore that boy."
Yes, it's pretty much the core of everything that is wrong with this world.

[Anonymous]

I make my DD share anything she takes to the playground and have a default assumption that toys at the playground are shared, but I certainly would not be offended if someone wanted to play with their dad/own toy by themselves. Particularly if it were something my kid wasn't old enoughto really play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your own Frisbee.

+1.

And the etiquette for that is not that complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?