Bringing your own toys to the playground-what's the etiquette?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The dad sounds like he's a bit of a dick but he's really not obligated to engage with your toddler. Think of it as one of many future learning moments for your kid about respecting other peoples' boundaries and, most importantly, you don't always get what you want.

Why is dad being a dick for wanting to only play with his kid? My husband is usually the one to go to the playground and he constantly comments that kids flock to him as generally he and maybe one-two other parents are actually engaging the kids and helping them vs. just chatting or on their phones. Toddlers cannot often do the equipment alone, same as older kids. They need to be lifted, spotted, etc. OP is probably the mom who wants to sit back and let someone else babysit her kid.

He could have nicely said "no right now" to the kid, or let her play with it for a minute, or encourage his own kid to be nice instead of screaming "no baby" like a little brat. Lots of different ways of handling it without being a dick. Maybe his son would learn something from that.

If they don't want to interact with anyone at all they should stick with their yard or find somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

Good lord. A little toddler is interested in what you and your son are doing, totally appropriately, and the lesson you want to teach is, "No we don't have to include others if we don't feel like it. Ignore that boy."
Yes, it's pretty much the core of everything that is wrong with this world.

Lol!! When an 18 month old isn't invited to play an age inappropriate game, it's what's wrong with the world.

They should have included him and when he got bonged right in the face with the frisbee he was not coordinated enough to catch, OP could at least feel satisfied her precious was included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

Good lord. A little toddler is interested in what you and your son are doing, totally appropriately, and the lesson you want to teach is, "No we don't have to include others if we don't feel like it. Ignore that boy."
Yes, it's pretty much the core of everything that is wrong with this world.

Lol!! When an 18 month old isn't invited to play an age inappropriate game, it's what's wrong with the world.

They should have included him and when he got bonged right in the face with the frisbee he was not coordinated enough to catch, OP could at least feel satisfied her precious was included.

I'm with you, PP!
And, for the record, there's no law that says "you should include others under any circumstances'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

Good lord. A little toddler is interested in what you and your son are doing, totally appropriately, and the lesson you want to teach is, "No we don't have to include others if we don't feel like it. Ignore that boy."
Yes, it's pretty much the core of everything that is wrong with this world.

Lol!! When an 18 month old isn't invited to play an age inappropriate game, it's what's wrong with the world.

They should have included him and when he got bonged right in the face with the frisbee he was not coordinated enough to catch, OP could at least feel satisfied her precious was included.

I'm with you, PP!
And, for the record, there's no law that says "you should include others under any circumstances'.

I know, it's just bizarre OP thinks her son had to be included in a father-son activity. If a toddler wanders up to my table at a restaurant am I supposed to invite him to join us at the table and sample our food? If I'm riding my daughters around on my back at the pool am I to offer a ride to every other child there as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

Good lord. A little toddler is interested in what you and your son are doing, totally appropriately, and the lesson you want to teach is, "No we don't have to include others if we don't feel like it. Ignore that boy."
Yes, it's pretty much the core of everything that is wrong with this world.

Lol!! When an 18 month old isn't invited to play an age inappropriate game, it's what's wrong with the world.

They should have included him and when he got bonged right in the face with the frisbee he was not coordinated enough to catch, OP could at least feel satisfied her precious was included.

I'm with you, PP!
And, for the record, there's no law that says "you should include others under any circumstances'.

I know, it's just bizarre OP thinks her son had to be included in a father-son activity. If a toddler wanders up to my table at a restaurant am I supposed to invite him to join us at the table and sample our food? If I'm riding my daughters around on my back at the pool am I to offer a ride to every other child there as well?

I said it was inconsiderate to bring a frisbee to a 0-3 tot lot. Why you are bringing restaurants and pools into this is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

Good lord. A little toddler is interested in what you and your son are doing, totally appropriately, and the lesson you want to teach is, "No we don't have to include others if we don't feel like it. Ignore that boy."
Yes, it's pretty much the core of everything that is wrong with this world.

Lol!! When an 18 month old isn't invited to play an age inappropriate game, it's what's wrong with the world.

They should have included him and when he got bonged right in the face with the frisbee he was not coordinated enough to catch, OP could at least feel satisfied her precious was included.

I'm with you, PP!
And, for the record, there's no law that says "you should include others under any circumstances'.

I know, it's just bizarre OP thinks her son had to be included in a father-son activity. If a toddler wanders up to my table at a restaurant am I supposed to invite him to join us at the table and sample our food? If I'm riding my daughters around on my back at the pool am I to offer a ride to every other child there as well?

I said it was inconsiderate to bring a frisbee to a 0-3 tot lot. Why you are bringing restaurants and pools into this is bizarre.

11 pages of people saying it's not inappropriate to bring a play thing to a place dedicated to play and still you are pushing this. Go buy your kid a Frisbee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get what you are saying, OP but, the boy and his father are not obligated to play with your son. It is not your playground but a public playground therefore they have ever right to come to the playground and play with their toy by themselves. The world doesn't revolve around you or your son and the sooner you both get it the better it will be.

Funny story: My daughter was about 2 and we were also at a public playground. A little girl had a ball and my daughter just looked at it and the girl immediately yelled that's my ball or something like that. I was about to tell my daughter, "that's her ball and we have one at home" when my daughter said " that ball is pretty but it isn't special" I thought it was a perfect response.

We were leaving the park anyway and my daughter was quiet so only we could hear her. We still laugh about it today!

I don't see what's funny about this. Your kid made a bratty remark and you think it's funny? This is how mean girl behavior starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the dad of the older boy is disgusting. Who behaves that way? Those of you who think it's fine and would do the same, well, you're a special breed.

A disgusting breed of people who go to the playground to play with their own kids?

Good lord. A little toddler is interested in what you and your son are doing, totally appropriately, and the lesson you want to teach is, "No we don't have to include others if we don't feel like it. Ignore that boy."
Yes, it's pretty much the core of everything that is wrong with this world.

Lol!! When an 18 month old isn't invited to play an age inappropriate game, it's what's wrong with the world.

They should have included him and when he got bonged right in the face with the frisbee he was not coordinated enough to catch, OP could at least feel satisfied her precious was included.

I'm with you, PP!
And, for the record, there's no law that says "you should include others under any circumstances'.

I know, it's just bizarre OP thinks her son had to be included in a father-son activity. If a toddler wanders up to my table at a restaurant am I supposed to invite him to join us at the table and sample our food? If I'm riding my daughters around on my back at the pool am I to offer a ride to every other child there as well?

I said it was inconsiderate to bring a frisbee to a 0-3 tot lot. Why you are bringing restaurants and pools into this is bizarre.

11 pages of people saying it's not inappropriate to bring a play thing to a place dedicated to play and still you are pushing this. Go buy your kid a Frisbee.

I think there are responses on both sides and I like reading the responses. You can count and let me know the tally if you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Okay...so when you're at Starbucks, and another person is using their laptop, does this mean you get to use it too? Or do you get so distracted by said laptop that you can't order your coffee or hold a conversation with someone? Of course not, because you have learned that other people have their things and you have yours. That a life lesson.

Stupid post.

It's actually not, it's valid. Adult's don't share. Why to we expect children to do something that we don't. If I wore a new pair of sunglasses to the pool I would be under no obligation to let someone "have a turn" and no one would ask. It is ridiculous to think that a child is under an obligation to share something that belongs to them, with some random kid in a public park, simply because they other kid wants a turn.

If they want to, fine, but if they don't well, that's fine too.

Once when my DC was about 5 we were at a park and another kid wanted to ride her scooter. She said no and I backed her up. (I didn't know this kid and if she got hurt I didn't want to be held responsible.) The other mother said, "oh well, that little girl isn't very nice. She hasn't learned to share." What an entitled little snit that woman is raising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Okay...so when you're at Starbucks, and another person is using their laptop, does this mean you get to use it too? Or do you get so distracted by said laptop that you can't order your coffee or hold a conversation with someone? Of course not, because you have learned that other people have their things and you have yours. That a life lesson.

Stupid post.

It's actually not, it's valid. Adult's don't share. Why to we expect children to do something that we don't. If I wore a new pair of sunglasses to the pool I would be under no obligation to let someone "have a turn" and no one would ask. It is ridiculous to think that a child is under an obligation to share something that belongs to them, with some random kid in a public park, simply because they other kid wants a turn.

If they want to, fine, but if they don't well, that's fine too.

Once when my DC was about 5 we were at a park and another kid wanted to ride her scooter. She said no and I backed her up. (I didn't know this kid and if she got hurt I didn't want to be held responsible.) The other mother said, "oh well, that little girl isn't very nice. She hasn't learned to share." What an entitled little snit that woman is raising.

Ha ha serves you right. Kids aren't adults, and kids play, share, and take turns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Okay...so when you're at Starbucks, and another person is using their laptop, does this mean you get to use it too? Or do you get so distracted by said laptop that you can't order your coffee or hold a conversation with someone? Of course not, because you have learned that other people have their things and you have yours. That a life lesson.

Stupid post.

It's actually not, it's valid. Adult's don't share. Why to we expect children to do something that we don't. If I wore a new pair of sunglasses to the pool I would be under no obligation to let someone "have a turn" and no one would ask. It is ridiculous to think that a child is under an obligation to share something that belongs to them, with some random kid in a public park, simply because they other kid wants a turn.

If they want to, fine, but if they don't well, that's fine too.

Once when my DC was about 5 we were at a park and another kid wanted to ride her scooter. She said no and I backed her up. (I didn't know this kid and if she got hurt I didn't want to be held responsible.) The other mother said, "oh well, that little girl isn't very nice. She hasn't learned to share." What an entitled little snit that woman is raising.

If you brought a ball to a basketball court someone might ask if you'd like a pickup game. If you were sitting at a big table alone in a big cafeteria and there were no more seats, someone might ask if they could share the table. Adults share all the time. We are not talking about clothes, we are talking about objects that are often shared. I still think OP is off the mark, but this is a silly argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I know there's no obligation to play with my kid. My question is more about whether it is annoying when people bring their own toys to a toddler playground with the expectation that it is not going to be a distraction/object of interest for other kids. For example, there are plenty of times that I have thought about bringing a toy to story time for my child, but I've always refrained because I don't want the toy to be an object of contention.

Okay...so when you're at Starbucks, and another person is using their laptop, does this mean you get to use it too? Or do you get so distracted by said laptop that you can't order your coffee or hold a conversation with someone? Of course not, because you have learned that other people have their things and you have yours. That a life lesson.

Stupid post.

It's actually not, it's valid. Adult's don't share. Why to we expect children to do something that we don't. If I wore a new pair of sunglasses to the pool I would be under no obligation to let someone "have a turn" and no one would ask. It is ridiculous to think that a child is under an obligation to share something that belongs to them, with some random kid in a public park, simply because they other kid wants a turn.

If they want to, fine, but if they don't well, that's fine too.

Once when my DC was about 5 we were at a park and another kid wanted to ride her scooter. She said no and I backed her up. (I didn't know this kid and if she got hurt I didn't want to be held responsible.) The other mother said, "oh well, that little girl isn't very nice. She hasn't learned to share." What an entitled little snit that woman is raising.

Ha ha serves you right. Kids aren't adults, and kids play, share, and take turns.

No! First, if that kid had gotten hurt on my kid's scooter I could have been liable.

But also, no kids don't have to share. It has become a demand. It isn't optional anymore and that is just silly. What that mother should have said is, "oh well, that's not your scooter."

My kid knows how to play, share and take turns. We have a rule that you can't exclude in a public place. If a child wants to join whatever she is playing and wants to do it nicely and appropirately then they get too. You don't go to the park to leave people out.

When it comes to swings or slides or things that are part of the park, she is a champion at taking turns.

When we have a playdate at our house no toys are off limits.

But if she wants to take a toy to the park she is under no obligation to let a stranger have a turn with it. Children need to learn that they don't get to appropriate some other kid's stuff simply because it caught their eye.

[Anonymous]

I don't see what's funny about this. Your kid made a bratty remark and you think it's funny? This is how mean girl behavior starts.

First of all, the remark was funny. The other kid was about to make a BIG fuss when all my daughter was going to do was look at it. Second of all, my daughter was about 2 or 2 and a half and the comment was made to us in a low voice so the other kid did NOT hear. If you don't get the humor it does not mean it was a "bratty" remark. Maybe you don't have one?

Lastly, my daughter is the farthest thing from being a mean girl. Once when she was 7 and we went to a Easter egg hunt and we showed up two minutes late. Every toy/candy//egg was gone but she found a small toy. Another smaller child came along and was very sad so my daughter on her own gave her the toy. She is now 18 and graduated from high school. In her yearbook everyone remarked how kind she is and what a wonderful person she is. So, your "prediction" did not come true at all. I sure hope we don't know you in real life!

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP--while I generally encourage my kids to share their toys at a public place, there are times where I don't encourage i.e. safety/liability reasons like the scooter.

For example, I was at the pool yesterday with my 3yo and 5yo. 5yo is a pretty good swimmer so he can go out a bit deeper than the 3yo, who wants to follow his brother. The only way I could keep my 3yo from walking further out into the pool was to entertain him by throwing dive sticks onto the steps and let him pick them up without having to go underwater. Another kid who was about 6 or 7 started to go underwater to get the sticks and I told him, "no, please don't do that, these are for him". If it had been my other son, I would have thrown the sticks out to both of them and had them play together but I really needed to keep my younger son in the shallow area and that was the only thing that was working. I actually thought it was rude of the kid to just go under and pick them up without even asking if it was ok but he's a kid so whatever.

The snack issue does irritate me...people need to bring snacks for their kids when going out in public for more than a few hours. I always pack extra snacks so that my kids have a choice in what they want to eat but it really does irritate me when we are at the park or the pool and a kid says "I'm hungry" and looks at my backpack with snacks in it. Sometimes I pack snacks specifically for ME and frankly, I don't want to share. And I don't want to have to spend $5 at the snack bar later because I ran out of snacks by giving them away. OK, rant over.

Point is, it's nice to share when sharing is appropriate but it's not always appropriate and should never be expected. Sometimes you just want to play with your toys with your kids and that's fine too. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Our garage backs onto a park. When I take Larla home in her stroller, there are kids in the park playing soccer. She gets distracted and wants to play with them instead of going home. Very annoying. Even worse, there's a dog park backing onto the park and people actually bring dogs to it. Larla loves dogs and immediately wants to go watch the dogs play rather than going home. Even more annoying. I hate all the people who distract my daughter in public places by having fun. Ugh.