MIL hurt my dog and I want to disown her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, I would let a dog lick my kid rather than germy human hands touch her. My dogs get theirs shots and pills and I know they are healthy. Human hands have all kinds of germs that are bad for their fellow humans.

I don't make a big deal of this but I can see why you'd allow the one and discourage the other (unwashed hands).

+1

same here

nasty grannie with cold sores must wash her hands. pup is free to give licks anytime.

With the same tongue the dog used to lick his ass and eat feces? No thanks...

oy. ok. we get it - you don't like dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My house, my rules. If I allow a dog on my couch, that's my house rule. OP said the dog didn't jump on MIL.

MIL is a witch and I'd love to disown her too, OP. Not sure you can because of your husband.

Anyone who is mean to dogs or cats doesn't deserve a place in my life.

You've posted that phrase like 10 times in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dog people are so clueless. Dogs on the furniture and licking a child's face = disgusting. Put the dog down and stop prolonging its miserable life. No one wants to cuddle your sickly pit-bull mix.

+1 A dog on the couch is unsanitary. I also feel as many do about other people's kids. I love mine, I do not want to cuddle with yours. I also am very aware of how my dog behaves around other people. I wouldn't make a human uncomfortable to avoid inconveniencing a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My house, my rules. If I allow a dog on my couch, that's my house rule. OP said the dog didn't jump on MIL.

MIL is a witch and I'd love to disown her too, OP. Not sure you can because of your husband.

Anyone who is mean to dogs or cats doesn't deserve a place in my life.

You've posted that phrase like 10 times in this thread.

More than one person is saying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, I would let a dog lick my kid rather than germy human hands touch her. My dogs get theirs shots and pills and I know they are healthy. Human hands have all kinds of germs that are bad for their fellow humans.

I don't make a big deal of this but I can see why you'd allow the one and discourage the other (unwashed hands).

+1

same here

nasty grannie with cold sores must wash her hands. pup is free to give licks anytime.

With the same tongue the dog used to lick his ass and eat feces? No thanks...

Have you seen what my kid puts in his mouth!?

And most dogs don't eat poo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh first, you need to realize that this is your child's grandmother and your DH's mother. That is an important relationship for both of them to have regardless of how you feel about her. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with her but it means that you need to leave them to have their own.

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would have probably pushed the dog off also. We don't allow our dogs on the furniture (and never understand why others do) so my instinct would have been to correct the dog while not even thinking about what I was doing.

I am also positive after having dogs with torn ACLs and hip dysplasia that your dog should be trained gently to not jump up onto any furniture. Do this now so that no further damage is done (which can be done simply getting on and off furniture) but also for post op when your dog should not be doing this at all.

If MIL is abusive and crazy (and she is!), then it is an important relationship for the grandchildren to avoid. We don't spend much time with my abusive, mentally ill MIL for exactly that reason. She wrecked my DH's childhood and young adulthood. He has nothing good to say about her as a parent. Why on earth would we allow her to have a major role in our children's lives?

You're projecting.

No, I don't think I am. If you've ever been around people with borderline personality disorder, you know what it looks like. It looks like this. MIL was told not to push the dog and did it anyway. When OP was justifiably mad that her dog was pushed and hurt, MIL did not apologize. Instead, she headed off into a tirade about how DIL loves the dog more than her. That's how borderlines react to criticism. Even the slightest little bit of criticism is interpreted as a statement that they are unloved and unlovable. They become afraid and threatened that they will be abandoned. They throw a big hissy fit and storm out, rejecting you before you can reject them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very lovable 4 yr old mixed rescue dog that has degenerative joint problems in her knees, hips and elbows. She's had acupuncture, laser thwrap and most recently platelet rich plasma injections to improve her mobility and quality of life until her surgeries which we have tentatively scheduled for the Fall. Mt MIL knows all about this and was given explicit instructions not to push our dog or forcefully move her for any reason. The dog just saw the orthopedic surgeon for a follow up and has been doing very well.

However, my MIL is a petulant brat with a probable undiagnosed personality disorder. At one point, she was sitting on the couch where we normally allow the dog to sit (when permitted by the vet) and our dog jumped up to sit with her. To be clear, it's the chaise part of our sectional sofa and the dog did not crowd the MIL but simply wanted to come up and cuddle. I got up as quickly as I could and very firmly stated "do not push her!", but MIL shoved her backwards off the couch, hard. My dog is now unable to put any weight on her back leg, so it obviously did damage.

My MIL then creates a big scene saying she's leaving a day early screaming at me in my home in front on my baby about how I prioritize the dog and how dare I let her lick the baby and I'm crazy with OCD for asking MIL to wash her hands before she holds my child, etc etc. I went upstairs with the baby and DH packed her up and escorted her out.

I'm livid she had the gall to hurt my dog then insult me when she's a guest in my home. I've never cared for her much, but this is the final straw in my opinion. She's a drama queen, it's her MO to make a big scene and leave at least a day early when she visits, but usually I'm not involved. DH thinks she was out of line, but things will blow over.I don know what he's said to her privately.

I'm looking for advice on next steps and a long term approach. I feel terrible that I couldn't protect my dog from this monster.

If you are dealing with a borderline personality disorder, you probably want to read two books: "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and "Toxic Parents." Both will help you understand and develop strategies to deal.

[Anonymous]

Good lord, there are some serious nasty trolls on this thread! It's never ok to push someone else's dog off the couch, injured or not. Why do people have so much trouble with this concept? You don't think dogs should be on the furniture? Don't let your own dog on your furniture! OP's house and things are not yours to do with as you please.

Sounds like your MIL is having some boundary issues. Was she staying with you to help with the baby? Maybe you've been sniping at each other and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. You'll probably have to just let it blow over, i.e. don't reach out to her and then see how you feel the next time you cross paths. Let your DH deal with her if she reaches out. MILs (or anyone) who aren't helpful during the newborn phase don't need to be in your life right now honestly. Just concentrate on the baby and the dog.

And FWIW, if she was there to help with the newborn then she's not a guest. But some family members really don't get that and think they are there to be catered to when the new parents completely overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

So do all the "my house, my rules" posters also force vegetarians to eat meat in their homes? Just wondering because you all seem pretty die hard about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be done with anyone who hurt my dog. Do not allow her in your home.

Yes. Do not touch my child or dogs. I will hurt you. I promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So do all the "my house, my rules" posters also force vegetarians to eat meat in their homes? Just wondering because you all seem pretty die hard about that.

You are silly. That falls under "your body, your rules. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, there are some serious nasty trolls on this thread! It's never ok to push someone else's dog off the couch, injured or not. Why do people have so much trouble with this concept? You don't think dogs should be on the furniture? Don't let your own dog on your furniture! OP's house and things are not yours to do with as you please.

Sounds like your MIL is having some boundary issues. Was she staying with you to help with the baby? Maybe you've been sniping at each other and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. You'll probably have to just let it blow over, i.e. don't reach out to her and then see how you feel the next time you cross paths. Let your DH deal with her if she reaches out. MILs (or anyone) who aren't helpful during the newborn phase don't need to be in your life right now honestly. Just concentrate on the baby and the dog.

And FWIW, if she was there to help with the newborn then she's not a guest. But some family members really don't get that and think they are there to be catered to when the new parents completely overwhelmed.

How about a lot of us question OP's characterization of "pushed the dog". That was her take. Maybe if I saw it, I would have characterized it as a nudge.
Given OP's flair for the dramatic, I take her version with a grain of salt. And if you have a such a sick animal, how did it get up on the couch anyway. And why didn't OP warn MIL that the dog liked that spot and would probably try to get in her spot? A whole lot of crazy going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very lovable 4 yr old mixed rescue dog that has degenerative joint problems in her knees, hips and elbows. She's had acupuncture, laser thwrap and most recently platelet rich plasma injections to improve her mobility and quality of life until her surgeries which we have tentatively scheduled for the Fall. Mt MIL knows all about this and was given explicit instructions not to push our dog or forcefully move her for any reason. The dog just saw the orthopedic surgeon for a follow up and has been doing very well.

However, my MIL is a petulant brat with a probable undiagnosed personality disorder. At one point, she was sitting on the couch where we normally allow the dog to sit (when permitted by the vet) and our dog jumped up to sit with her. To be clear, it's the chaise part of our sectional sofa and the dog did not crowd the MIL but simply wanted to come up and cuddle. I got up as quickly as I could and very firmly stated "do not push her!", but MIL shoved her backwards off the couch, hard. My dog is now unable to put any weight on her back leg, so it obviously did damage.

My MIL then creates a big scene saying she's leaving a day early screaming at me in my home in front on my baby about how I prioritize the dog and how dare I let her lick the baby and I'm crazy with OCD for asking MIL to wash her hands before she holds my child, etc etc. I went upstairs with the baby and DH packed her up and escorted her out.

I'm livid she had the gall to hurt my dog then insult me when she's a guest in my home. I've never cared for her much, but this is the final straw in my opinion. She's a drama queen, it's her MO to make a big scene and leave at least a day early when she visits, but usually I'm not involved. DH thinks she was out of line, but things will blow over.I don know what he's said to her privately.

I'm looking for advice on next steps and a long term approach. I feel terrible that I couldn't protect my dog from this monster.

The first two bolded statements show that you knew better than to trust her. For whatever reason you knew she would be abusive. You gave her the benefit of the doubt, but she couldn't help herself.

Now that you 'officially know' she can't be trusted, you can protect your dog. Next steps and long term would be the same- short visits (none unsupervised with children/pets) and minimal interactions. No stay over visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So do all the "my house, my rules" posters also force vegetarians to eat meat in their homes? Just wondering because you all seem pretty die hard about that.

Oh, yes, constantly. In fact I invite vegetarians over with the specific goal of tricking them into eating meat. Then I subject them to unwanted medical procedures. Because those are totally comparable situations to asking someone not to shove my dog when they come over to my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, I would let a dog lick my kid rather than germy human hands touch her. My dogs get theirs shots and pills and I know they are healthy. Human hands have all kinds of germs that are bad for their fellow humans.

I don't make a big deal of this but I can see why you'd allow the one and discourage the other (unwashed hands).

+1

same here

nasty grannie with cold sores must wash her hands. pup is free to give licks anytime.

With the same tongue the dog used to lick his ass and eat feces? No thanks...

Have you seen what my kid puts in his mouth!?

And most dogs don't eat poo.

Actually many dogs eat poo. Mine does on occasion and it's disgusting.