MIL hurt my dog and I want to disown her

[Anonymous]

I have a very lovable 4 yr old mixed rescue dog that has degenerative joint problems in her knees, hips and elbows. She's had acupuncture, laser thwrap and most recently platelet rich plasma injections to improve her mobility and quality of life until her surgeries which we have tentatively scheduled for the Fall. Mt MIL knows all about this and was given explicit instructions not to push our dog or forcefully move her for any reason. The dog just saw the orthopedic surgeon for a follow up and has been doing very well.

However, my MIL is a petulant brat with a probable undiagnosed personality disorder. At one point, she was sitting on the couch where we normally allow the dog to sit (when permitted by the vet) and our dog jumped up to sit with her. To be clear, it's the chaise part of our sectional sofa and the dog did not crowd the MIL but simply wanted to come up and cuddle. I got up as quickly as I could and very firmly stated "do not push her!", but MIL shoved her backwards off the couch, hard. My dog is now unable to put any weight on her back leg, so it obviously did damage.

My MIL then creates a big scene saying she's leaving a day early screaming at me in my home in front on my baby about how I prioritize the dog and how dare I let her lick the baby and I'm crazy with OCD for asking MIL to wash her hands before she holds my child, etc etc. I went upstairs with the baby and DH packed her up and escorted her out.

I'm livid she had the gall to hurt my dog then insult me when she's a guest in my home. I've never cared for her much, but this is the final straw in my opinion. She's a drama queen, it's her MO to make a big scene and leave at least a day early when she visits, but usually I'm not involved. DH thinks she was out of line, but things will blow over.I don know what he's said to her privately.

I'm looking for advice on next steps and a long term approach. I feel terrible that I couldn't protect my dog from this monster.

[Anonymous]

Wow that's a whole lot of crazy. You, not your MIL.

[Anonymous]

You're angry, and I would be too. I don't think you need next steps or a long-term approach right now. Just take care of your baby and your dog, and revisit with your DH in a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

I'd be done with anyone who hurt my dog. Do not allow her in your home.

[Anonymous]

Oh first, you need to realize that this is your child's grandmother and your DH's mother. That is an important relationship for both of them to have regardless of how you feel about her. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with her but it means that you need to leave them to have their own.

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would have probably pushed the dog off also. We don't allow our dogs on the furniture (and never understand why others do) so my instinct would have been to correct the dog while not even thinking about what I was doing.

I am also positive after having dogs with torn ACLs and hip dysplasia that your dog should be trained gently to not jump up onto any furniture. Do this now so that no further damage is done (which can be done simply getting on and off furniture) but also for post op when your dog should not be doing this at all.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I'd be done if she shoved my dog.

[Anonymous]

Id be extremely angry! You are putting a ton of money into making your pet feel comfortable and she completely disregards you and hurts your pet, who does that!?! I would recommend a hotel that she'll be more comfortable at next time she wants to visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh first, you need to realize that this is your child's grandmother and your DH's mother. That is an important relationship for both of them to have regardless of how you feel about her. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with her but it means that you need to leave them to have their own.

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would have probably pushed the dog off also. We don't allow our dogs on the furniture (and never understand why others do) so my instinct would have been to correct the dog while not even thinking about what I was doing.

I am also positive after having dogs with torn ACLs and hip dysplasia that your dog should be trained gently to not jump up onto any furniture. Do this now so that no further damage is done (which can be done simply getting on and off furniture) but also for post op when your dog should not be doing this at all.

+1 to all this.

OP, you are the one who sounds like you have an undiagnosed personality disorder.

[Anonymous]

That sounds really upsetting. It also sounds like your dog is especially fragile, and it would be a good idea to have a way to sequester her in the future when you have guests over (not just MIL). Maybe a crate or a baby gate that keeps her in one room. As your baby becomes a toddler and has friends over, you don't want to be on dog watch every second -- toddlers aren't known for their gentleness with animals.

[Anonymous]

I would not allow a dog on furniture.
I would be angry if someone pushed my dog, who was in pain.
I wouldn't let the dog lick my baby.
I wouldn't let someone touch my baby without washing their hands.

So... the loser in all this is the one who displayed most childish and obnoxious behavior. Unless you screamed at your MIL first, she's the loser.

[Anonymous]

You sound dramatic too but she hurt your pet and its your home.

Disowned.

[Anonymous]

It's OP's house and furniture -- she can let the dog on whatever she wants. The MIL had no business pushing the dog.

For some people, their pets are like family members or children. If your disabled child was getting on the sofa and your MIL pushed her off, you'd probably be angry, too.

I'm not a dog-lover, but I can totally understand where OP is coming from. Your DH needs to talk with her and you probably shouldn't have her over for a long time.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a dog person, at all, but MIL sounds like a real bitch. If OP alows her dog on her furniture in her home, MIL should have no say. To intentionally push a fragile dog off the couch, after explicitly being told not to, is cruel and obnoxious. I think OP has every right to be furious and to limit time spent with MIL for a while. I'm not equating pets to kids, but I can't see MIL respecting OP's parenting choices, either, so there's pribably a pretty rough road ahead.

[Anonymous]

I thank everything possible that neither OP nor her MIL are in my family.

[Anonymous]

You both are so mental, I think your DH is the real loser in this story.