MIL hurt my dog and I want to disown her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your mother in law sounds like an awful person- I also have a truly awful and difficult MIL who has done many manipulative things to come between me and my husband. She is always the victim and will do anything to create drama to pit us against each other - this has been going on for 24 years. So - seeing that we have survived this long, the one piece of advice I can give to you - if your husband wants to have a relationship,with her - is let him handle this. He is in a terrible situation and must know his mom is bat shit crazy. He needs to protect you/your dog/and your kid. He is in a tough situation, but my husband finally saw the light and he manages her. She only stayed with us 3 times in 24 years. We do see her but it is infrequent. Keeping a relationship with her was his choice - I did not make him choose between her or me, but it was up for him to deal with it and somehow it has workedand basically we are not a part of her life but he is. Not ideal - but she's happy to be away from useless that she has him to herself. Sad but true. Works for us.

I agree. Someone who shoves a small, very sick dog onto the floor and then creates a big scene about it it crazy. She is also pushing your boundaries, OP. My MIL used to tell us how to raise our dogs, demanding that we do this and do that. I am a professional in animal training. My dogs are well behaved -- hers are out of control. But just like a dog, she tried to push herself into my business. Stand by your boundaries OP! And anyone who has paid those vet bills certainly does not want a return visit due to a relative hurting the dog. Its is toy dog, right? 6 lbs or so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP, I'm totally on your side and would be very sad and hurt if anyone did that to my dog.
It's your house and your rules- if the dog is allwed on your couch, nobody has the right to push the dog off. I have a dog and when guests come over the dog gets up by them and I move the dog but never ever ever would I be okay with a guest or family member pushing my dog.
One time a neice said, "OFF" and I got mad at my neice for telling my dog off. My house my rules! I know I"m in the minority, but I don't think you're crazy at all. I wouldn't disown the ML forever, but I would want an apology for sure. It doesn't sound like a sustainable relationship.

That is really disrespectful to your niece who didn't want the dog on her. She has every right to get the dog off her.

My dog wasn't on her, my dog was near her on the couch. My dog is less than 10 pounds so it's not like she's filling up all the space.

There's the comment about how the weighs "less than 10 pounds." Welcome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP, I'm totally on your side and would be very sad and hurt if anyone did that to my dog.
It's your house and your rules- if the dog is allwed on your couch, nobody has the right to push the dog off. I have a dog and when guests come over the dog gets up by them and I move the dog but never ever ever would I be okay with a guest or family member pushing my dog.
One time a neice said, "OFF" and I got mad at my neice for telling my dog off. My house my rules! I know I"m in the minority, but I don't think you're crazy at all. I wouldn't disown the ML forever, but I would want an apology for sure. It doesn't sound like a sustainable relationship.

That is really disrespectful to your niece who didn't want the dog on her. She has every right to get the dog off her.

My dog wasn't on her, my dog was near her on the couch. My dog is less than 10 pounds so it's not like she's filling up all the space.

There's the comment about how the weighs "less than 10 pounds." Welcome!

NP, here- this comment was made by a different poster- not the OP

[Anonymous]

Whoa. Sounds like two drama queens with a lot of bad history. I am old school and believe that dogs should be kept away from guests who don't want to snuggle. I believe that people who are guests in my home should be made comfortable whenever possible, and that my husband's family deserves to be treated with respect even though I have very little in common with them.

OP never came back to answer any of the questions, did she? Just an excellent troll who managed to stir up the MIL haters AND the dog haters in one post?

[Anonymous]

OP. I'm sorry and I'm sorry your dog is so sick.

I think you needed to do a better job keeping the dog away from a person you know is crazy. Not fair to the dog.

As for not letting the dog on the furniture. That is generally a good rule, but at least with this dog, I get that this won't happen. Just keep her away from mil.

As for your part in this... Don't participate in the drama. Protect you, your choild, and your dog from the drama. Your child won't be harmed by this grandma. She won't be close to her either. Just do your best to deescalate, and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW JUST WOW, I can't believe OP. the mother of her husband is less important than her dog wow

Why do you assume being a mother to her husband means she can do anything? I respect motherhood and know how hard it is, but pushing out a kid doesn't make you a decent human being, let alone men's every decision you make is correct. My own mother has emotional issues that, while they don't limit her love for me and she was never abusive towards me, mean boundaries are important. Lots of people are horrible and many of those people have kids. You shouldn't have kids if you're just looking for people you can treat poorly and push around so you feel important. What a sad goal in life to seek importance from other people.

[Anonymous]

It's not the matter of who means how much to whom. Hurting animals is wrong. Disrespecting others' house rules is wrong. Making scenes is wrong. How can there be any argument about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW JUST WOW, I can't believe OP. the mother of her husband is less important than her dog wow

Why do you assume being a mother to her husband means she can do anything? I respect motherhood and know how hard it is, but pushing out a kid doesn't make you a decent human being, let alone men's every decision you make is correct. My own mother has emotional issues that, while they don't limit her love for me and she was never abusive towards me, mean boundaries are important. Lots of people are horrible and many of those people have kids. You shouldn't have kids if you're just looking for people you can treat poorly and push around so you feel important. What a sad goal in life to seek importance from other people.

The best thing to do is try and avoid the inlaw as much as possible. Some holidays at her house or other relatives, I would make it clear to dh that it's best she doesn't come to their house.

We had some toxic in-laws and while we never engaged in their arguing games we did move far enough away so it would be difficult to visit us.
OP it might be worth it to move, takes a lot of pressure off DH especially having a dysfunctional family. It will improve your marriage like it did ours.