no, husband, i'm not being a "control freak" for wanting you to have a passport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Many people do not feel that it is necessary if they are not planning to travel internationally in the near future. Your husband is clearly one of those people, but you said yourself that international travel isn't something that you have done together in your marriage. You have either made peace with his non-interest in international travel or you haven't. If you have, you can just let this go. If you haven't, then maybe try talking to him about it like an adult, come up with somewhere fun that you can go together abroad, and have the passport conversation in that context.

Either way, your annoyance about his symbolic refusal to renew his passport is weird.

It's less about international travel and more about how he won't do what she tells him.

Just another reason to never get married.

No kidding. Once he has passport he will be expected to travel. One reason to never get one

[Anonymous]

This made me to think of my story.

A long time ago dw and I were to travel to another country, with kids. I bought the tickets, and just a month before the travel date, I found that my kids' passports would expire in two months. (In case you don't know, you normally need 6 month valid passport to enter another country). In a hurry I found a passport receiving agent who would expedite the process. So the new passports arrived a week before the travel date. It was really scary.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read everything but OP sounds nuts.

[Anonymous]

Yes, wife, you ARE being a "control freak" for wanting me to get a passport when I really don't want one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to get a passport if you're not going anywhere? Do you expect to have to flee the country with no notice?

Sorry, OP, I'm with your DH on this one.

well good thing we're not married.

i cannot imagine why someone would willingly choose not to have a passport, unless they didn't have the $110 it costs to renew. what possible reason could there be for not just taking care of it - especially if it was a priority for your spouse.

Likely because they have no desire to travel outside of the U.S.

Plan a trip, then he will need one.

Maybe he figures if he has one you'll want to be traveling all the time, which isn't something he's interested in.

OP should book last-minute discount tickets to somewhere and go without him. If I were OP I'd want the vacation from my boyhusband who can't get anything done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am with OP. Everyone should have a Passport. Always.

Me too

[Anonymous]

Why did you marry someone like this? This would be a deal breaker for me.

[Anonymous]

This thread is weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to address the issue of the controlling spouse, but more the questions about why to get a passport. First, for all the state that don't meet the Real ID act, your drivers licenses won't be good for domestic air travel in a couple years (lucky there was an extension given by DHS). Some military bases aren't accepting those drivers licenses so a passport is another form of ID.

Also, please search for the press releases by the Department of State regarding the huge spike in passports that will occur in the next two years- they are specifically asking people to renew early. The wait and delays to possibly get your passport will be long. Do people not remember in 2007 and 2008 when people missed their trips because they didn't give enough time to get their passport there were tons of articles around that time. Here is the latest warning https://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/news/apply-now-to-avoid-delays.html

The hype is overrated. They're hiring aggressively, so keeping up with demand will not be a huge deal. Yes, there are delays every tourist season. Yes, it's best to apply during off-season. No, you don't need a passport unless you actually plan to travel. Yes, expedited services are available in case of emergencies or lack of planning ahead.

Keep calm and carry on, people. There is no need to siege your passport office yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am with OP. Everyone should have a Passport. Always.

Me too

This is not the issue. The issue was whether it's controlling to make others get their passports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry someone like this? This would be a deal breaker for me.

What, the guy not doing something there is no immediate need for him to do? If you're thinking "it's a thing she wants, therefore he should do it", there is one of those things EVERY GOD DAMNED DAY! Which stupid thing does she want the most?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry someone like this? This would be a deal breaker for me.

What, the guy not doing something there is no immediate need for him to do? If you're thinking "it's a thing she wants, therefore he should do it", there is one of those things EVERY GOD DAMNED DAY! Which stupid thing does she want the most?

This is the OP - and I assume that what PP meant is why did I marry someone who would go without a passport, when it's something that matters to me. Not why would I marry someone who doesn't jump the second I say jump.

The reason I married him is because he's great. I can think he's great and want to marry him, and also get frustrated with parts of him - just like he can do with me. We got frustrated with each other yesterday. I thought he was being unnecessarily stubborn, he thought I was being unnecessarily controlling. I'm sure we both could have been a little nicer and more flexible in the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You married a homebody, OP. He is controlling your ability as a couple to travel internationally by refusing to renew his passport.

You are stupid. The couple HAS NO TRAVEL PLANNED. Therefore he is not controlling or preventing anything.

Maybe he'd rather spend his $110 on coffee until there is a trip actually scheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry someone like this? This would be a deal breaker for me.

For me, someone who throws away money for no good reason would be a deal breaker for me. That's the kind of attitude that keeps you from saving well. It's one thing to spend money on something you need, but to spend money on something that you not only don't need, but don't have plans to use is just mind boggling for me.

And note, we have passports. We got them about 10 weeks before the last time we traveled out of the country. Before that we had passports that had expired about 2 years. We didn't renew, because we didn't need them. We renewed when we needed them and they are good for 10 years from when we needed them rather than for only 8 years after we needed them.

I can understand OP having an issue if she planned international travel and he dawdled on getting the passports in time, but just on the off chance that she'll do something she hasn't done yet in 7 years of marriage? Waste of time and money and a red flag for me. Taken the the extreme, this is the type of person that spends all sorts of money for things she wants to do, crafts she wants to take up, projects she things she'll do and they all sit around and fill up closets and spare space and never get used. I dated someone like that who had a craft room filled with thousands of dollars of stuff that she went into a couple of times a year, for an hour or two and then never found the time to go back to things. She's never been good at saving and probably never will.