no, husband, i'm not being a "control freak" for wanting you to have a passport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

got better things to do than filling out unnecessary paper work and standing in unnecessary lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to get a passport if you're not going anywhere? Do you expect to have to flee the country with no notice?

Sorry, OP, I'm with your DH on this one.

well good thing we're not married.

i cannot imagine why someone would willingly choose not to have a passport, unless they didn't have the $110 it costs to renew. what possible reason could there be for not just taking care of it - especially if it was a priority for your spouse.

Likely because they have no desire to travel outside of the U.S.

Plan a trip, then he will need one.

Maybe he figures if he has one you'll want to be traveling all the time, which isn't something he's interested in.

we can't plan a trip without passports. i have no idea how long it takes for them to get renewed now.

he's not worried i'm going to drag him off on overseas adventures all the time if he has a passport. we are more or less on the same page about how many trips we can take every year. he just doesn't care about this, and i do, and it's frustrating.

thanks for calling me a controlling bitch, all you pps. very nice. hope you have wonderful days, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

got better things to do than filling out unnecessary paper work and standing in unnecessary lines.

i just filled out my renewal form. it took 5 minutes. there are no lines. we just mail them off. which i offered to do.

it just doesn't seem to me worth putting up that much of a fight over that little exertion.

[Anonymous]

I'm with your husband. Why would you freak out about a passport if there is no trip planned? Sounds like there is more going on here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

What would be the upside of having one and going to the post office and taking time out of your day if you are not going anywhere? What is the upside of trying to force someone to do something that they do not want to do just because you want it?

The downside is that he is a grown man being forced to take time out of his day to do something that is meaningless to him.. If he doesn't use the passport for ten years then he just renewed the passport for no reason and only will need to be renewed again. It's just sitting there with all this effort put into acquiring it just for the sake of acquiring it. It makes no sense for you to care so much.

This has to be about a larger issue- him not helping out, him lacking motivation in life or something for you to even care so much. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason for him to get a passport right this second unless you have a trip plan. If you do have a trip planned, let him deal with the stress of a panicked run to the post office or passport office on 19th. I get why this annoys you but you are introducing stress into your marriage for no reason.

I do not recommend that.

OP, if it's so important to you, why don't you fill out the renewal application, have him sign it, and put it in the mail? It sounds like so much ado about nothing. I can't even begin to understand your motivation here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to get a passport if you're not going anywhere? Do you expect to have to flee the country with no notice?

Sorry, OP, I'm with your DH on this one.

well good thing we're not married.

i cannot imagine why someone would willingly choose not to have a passport, unless they didn't have the $110 it costs to renew. what possible reason could there be for not just taking care of it - especially if it was a priority for your spouse.

Likely because they have no desire to travel outside of the U.S.

Plan a trip, then he will need one.

Maybe he figures if he has one you'll want to be traveling all the time, which isn't something he's interested in.

we can't plan a trip without passports. i have no idea how long it takes for them to get renewed now.

he's not worried i'm going to drag him off on overseas adventures all the time if he has a passport. we are more or less on the same page about how many trips we can take every year. he just doesn't care about this, and i do, and it's frustrating.

thanks for calling me a controlling bitch, all you pps. very nice. hope you have wonderful days, too.

Yes, you can. It takes 6-8 weeks to get the passport back if you do not pay for expediting (which makes it 2-3 weeks). You can plan to travel abroad for whatever your next trip is, and make sure that he gets the application in in the next week or so in order to avoid paying for expediting. Does he have all the documents needed? Birth certificate, etc.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

got better things to do than filling out unnecessary paper work and standing in unnecessary lines.

i just filled out my renewal form. it took 5 minutes. there are no lines. we just mail them off. which i offered to do.

it just doesn't seem to me worth putting up that much of a fight over that little exertion.

Exactly. It isn't worth it. If you have a trip planned, it will take him 5 minutes at that point to fill out the renewal form. So let it go. It's not a big deal. You just said it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

got better things to do than filling out unnecessary paper work and standing in unnecessary lines.

i just filled out my renewal form. it took 5 minutes. there are no lines. we just mail them off. which i offered to do.

it just doesn't seem to me worth putting up that much of a fight over that little exertion.

Why don't you just fill out the form for him? I did this for my husband AND child.

[Anonymous]

It's a good idea to have a passport as an additional form of ID, at any rate. But this sounds like more than just a passport. You see the passport as symbolic of your love of travel. He might also see it the same way, and that's why he's resisting. I also have more of a travel itch than my husband, and I got tired of trying to push him. So I started booking trips with my girlfriends and with our kid. Life is too short to miss out on the things I want to do because he's not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason for him to get a passport right this second unless you have a trip plan. If you do have a trip planned, let him deal with the stress of a panicked run to the post office or passport office on 19th. I get why this annoys you but you are introducing stress into your marriage for no reason.

I do not recommend that.

OP, if it's so important to you, why don't you fill out the renewal application, have him sign it, and put it in the mail? It sounds like so much ado about nothing. I can't even begin to understand your motivation here.

I don't either but the point is that it will be his problem and his stress. OP is creating stress in her own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to get a passport if you're not going anywhere? Do you expect to have to flee the country with no notice?

Sorry, OP, I'm with your DH on this one.

well good thing we're not married.

i cannot imagine why someone would willingly choose not to have a passport, unless they didn't have the $110 it costs to renew. what possible reason could there be for not just taking care of it - especially if it was a priority for your spouse.

Likely because they have no desire to travel outside of the U.S.

Plan a trip, then he will need one.

Maybe he figures if he has one you'll want to be traveling all the time, which isn't something he's interested in.

we can't plan a trip without passports. i have no idea how long it takes for them to get renewed now.

he's not worried i'm going to drag him off on overseas adventures all the time if he has a passport. we are more or less on the same page about how many trips we can take every year. he just doesn't care about this, and i do, and it's frustrating.

thanks for calling me a controlling bitch, all you pps. very nice. hope you have wonderful days, too.

he doesn't have to care about everything you do, and vice versa. this just isn't the hill you should die on, op. freak out when you have an int'l trip planned and he hasn't renewed. you are creating a problem where one does not exist.

[Anonymous]

I am with OP. Everyone should have a Passport. Always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

There's not downside, I guess. Well, you pay $110 for ten years, but don't go anywhere for five. Then it expires where it could have been valid for another five. So... what's the downside of waiting, again?

Mine expires in August, and I don't plan to renew until I need it. I know I will need it, because we will have to go overseas in the next five years or so. Yet, I don't feel compelled to run and renew it today. There's no up or down side here per se, just desire to deal with things as they come and not try to predict your whole freaking life. Ten years, OP. You could be dead in ten years, so chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

What would be the upside of having one and going to the post office and taking time out of your day if you are not going anywhere? What is the upside of trying to force someone to do something that they do not want to do just because you want it?

The downside is that he is a grown man being forced to take time out of his day to do something that is meaningless to him.. If he doesn't use the passport for ten years then he just renewed the passport for no reason and only will need to be renewed again. It's just sitting there with all this effort put into acquiring it just for the sake of acquiring it. It makes no sense for you to care so much.

This has to be about a larger issue- him not helping out, him lacking motivation in life or something for you to even care so much. Let it go.

Honestly, it's not about any of these larger issues. "Helping out" isn't an issue with us - we both pull our own weight. He has plenty of motivation. He's great.

And stubborn.

And so sometimes he just puts up a fight about something because he wants to put up a fight. And then we have a fight. And it's frustrating.

This is just one of those things.

There's no problem with a "grown man" having to take time from his busy day (that is bizarrely sexist imagery there). Mostly because I offered to go to the post office with the forms so that he doesn't have to do it, because I care about this and he doesn't - I thought I could make this as friction-free as possible by doing it all myself.

I realize that for many of you guys, having a passport or not seems like a purely practical issue. Do you have a specific trip for which you need this specific tool. Of course, it's partly that for me - I don't want to not be able to take advantage of an airfare deal because we don't have valid travel documents. It's obviously more than that to me, as well.