no, husband, i'm not being a "control freak" for wanting you to have a passport

[Anonymous]

I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

In terms of the marital dynamic, if I were OP, I wouldn't insist the H get a passport. Men don't do well with abstract reasons. Wait until there's a trip planned, and let him scramble to get his passport renewed. Men would rather screw up than have their wives direct them. I know, I've been married almost 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, wife, you ARE being a "control freak" for wanting me to get a passport when I really don't want one.

Then man up and tell the OP you don't want to travel internationally. That's what my husband finally admitted. It was so much better once he told me point blank he didn't enjoy international leisure travel, because I told him that I was fine with it and would be planning my trips with other people. He didn't want to disappoint me, but I told him I would be much more disappointed if he complained about being dragged to Paris, the Great Pyramids, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a good idea to have a passport as an additional form of ID, at any rate. But this sounds like more than just a passport. You see the passport as symbolic of your love of travel. He might also see it the same way, and that's why he's resisting. I also have more of a travel itch than my husband, and I got tired of trying to push him. So I started booking trips with my girlfriends and with our kid. Life is too short to miss out on the things I want to do because he's not interested.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

In terms of the marital dynamic, if I were OP, I wouldn't insist the H get a passport. Men don't do well with abstract reasons. Wait until there's a trip planned, and let him scramble to get his passport renewed. Men would rather screw up than have their wives direct them. I know, I've been married almost 20 years.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

In terms of the marital dynamic, if I were OP, I wouldn't insist the H get a passport. Men don't do well with abstract reasons. Wait until there's a trip planned, and let him scramble to get his passport renewed. Men would rather screw up than have their wives direct them. I know, I've been married almost 20 years.

I can't believe grown-ups can be this bad at reading I bet many PPs here are much better off than OP, because they don't spend a hundred here and a hundred there without an actual reason

OP, is your closet bursting with clothes you bought five years ago and haven't had a chance to wear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, wife, you ARE being a "control freak" for wanting me to get a passport when I really don't want one.

Then man up and tell the OP you don't want to travel internationally. That's what my husband finally admitted. It was so much better once he told me point blank he didn't enjoy international leisure travel, because I told him that I was fine with it and would be planning my trips with other people. He didn't want to disappoint me, but I told him I would be much more disappointed if he complained about being dragged to Paris, the Great Pyramids, etc.

Is there a chance the wife will wise up and realize that nothing has changed in that department for the last SEVEN YEARS? Why this whim all of a sudden?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

I can't believe all the people here who just throw away $100 for no reason. If you're just throwing away money, I'll give you a PayPal account that you can send me the $100.

I have no problem getting a passport, when the time is right. But getting a passport good for 10 years and not using it for 7 years so that it's only good for another 3 years is just a waste of money. The passport office is not going to be closing and you will be able to get one in the future when you need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

No downside, but with all of the competing demands on my time, getting a passport would be last on my list. Of course, if we had a trip planned it would be bumped up to priority, but with no plans to travel overseas, what in the world is the point? I don't understand your urgency. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP again - and, just one more time: thank you all for your continued attention and concern.

I like to stock up on things like cereal and soy milk and toilet paper, so that I don't find myself without, when it's time to use them. I feel similarly about having my passport - I feel more comfortable knowing it's there, when I need it.

And once again: the issue is now resolved. We have sent off our passport applications. It turned out to be one small fight, with a few angry words exchanged on both sides, and now it's a non-issue. We won't miss the $110; given our finances (which are fine! we're not rich but fine!) I feel like peace of mind is worth that much.

This has been enlightening in terms of how many opinions there can be about whether it's good to have a valid passport or if you should wait until you have a trip planned. Seems like there isn't one right answer here - just preferences, often strong.

And keeping a spouse happy when it requires little effort - which this does - also seems like a virtue. I do it for my husband, he does it for me.

In any case, I think this issue is closed now? I guess now we can move on to talking about capris and how awful those are, right??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

In terms of the marital dynamic, if I were OP, I wouldn't insist the H get a passport. Men don't do well with abstract reasons. Wait until there's a trip planned, and let him scramble to get his passport renewed. Men would rather screw up than have their wives direct them. I know, I've been married almost 20 years.

I can't believe grown-ups can be this bad at reading I bet many PPs here are much better off than OP, because they don't spend a hundred here and a hundred there without an actual reason

OP, is your closet bursting with clothes you bought five years ago and haven't had a chance to wear?

Another cheap ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

I can't believe all the people here who just throw away $100 for no reason. If you're just throwing away money, I'll give you a PayPal account that you can send me the $100.

I have no problem getting a passport, when the time is right. But getting a passport good for 10 years and not using it for 7 years so that it's only good for another 3 years is just a waste of money. The passport office is not going to be closing and you will be able to get one in the future when you need it.

Cheap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You married a homebody, OP. He is controlling your ability as a couple to travel internationally by refusing to renew his passport.

You are stupid. The couple HAS NO TRAVEL PLANNED. Therefore he is not controlling or preventing anything.

Maybe he'd rather spend his $110 on coffee until there is a trip actually scheduled.

Hit a nerve, I see!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

In terms of the marital dynamic, if I were OP, I wouldn't insist the H get a passport. Men don't do well with abstract reasons. Wait until there's a trip planned, and let him scramble to get his passport renewed. Men would rather screw up than have their wives direct them. I know, I've been married almost 20 years.

I can't believe grown-ups can be this bad at reading I bet many PPs here are much better off than OP, because they don't spend a hundred here and a hundred there without an actual reason

OP, is your closet bursting with clothes you bought five years ago and haven't had a chance to wear?

Another cheap ass.

You must be drowning in credit card debt like the rest of the country. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

In terms of the marital dynamic, if I were OP, I wouldn't insist the H get a passport. Men don't do well with abstract reasons. Wait until there's a trip planned, and let him scramble to get his passport renewed. Men would rather screw up than have their wives direct them. I know, I've been married almost 20 years.

I can't believe grown-ups can be this bad at reading I bet many PPs here are much better off than OP, because they don't spend a hundred here and a hundred there without an actual reason

OP, is your closet bursting with clothes you bought five years ago and haven't had a chance to wear?

Another cheap ass.

You must be drowning in credit card debt like the rest of the country. Sad.

+1. I have never met a non-independently wealthy person "who loved to travel internationally" who didn't also have at least 10K on credit cards. At least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe all the people who are reluctant to spend $110 on a new passport. If money's that tight, you certainly won't be going on any international travel anytime soon.

In terms of the marital dynamic, if I were OP, I wouldn't insist the H get a passport. Men don't do well with abstract reasons. Wait until there's a trip planned, and let him scramble to get his passport renewed. Men would rather screw up than have their wives direct them. I know, I've been married almost 20 years.

I can't believe grown-ups can be this bad at reading I bet many PPs here are much better off than OP, because they don't spend a hundred here and a hundred there without an actual reason

OP, is your closet bursting with clothes you bought five years ago and haven't had a chance to wear?

Another cheap ass.

You must be drowning in credit card debt like the rest of the country. Sad.