Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

OP here. Actually, his side of the family corrects children when they are called and the children respond by saying, "what?"

This was a huge pet peeve of my mom. Not allowed to respond with a 'what', although that is a reasonable response, in my opinion.

Even "yes?" sounds nicer. And this goes both ways. If my kids address me, I respond, "Yes?" and not "What."

[Anonymous]

If you don't teach your children to initially address strangers with a title, some people will think they are less than polite. You are free to think those people are old fashioned and they will still think your child is less than polite. Fine, that's life, everyone has to deal. No minds are getting changed here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

Even when the adults specifically ask your kids to use just the adults' first name?

Even then. I'm instilling a pattern of behavior and a set of manners that I want them to have. Other people don't get to interfere with that. It confuses the kid to have some adult tell them to disobey their parent by doing something they are taught to do. Then the child is torn between obeying parents or pleasing some adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

OP here. Actually, his side of the family corrects children when they are called and the children respond by saying, "what?"

This was a huge pet peeve of my mom. Not allowed to respond with a 'what', although that is a reasonable response, in my opinion.

Even "yes?" sounds nicer. And this goes both ways. If my kids address me, I respond, "Yes?" and not "What."

I was raised the same way and I do this as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from rural New England and sir/ma'am would definitely seem weird in my area. I think it would come across as implying that the person is uptight, bossy, or overly concerned with hierarchy and status. Personally, I am not offended or bothered by it, but I think it's important to understand that in some places it carries a meaning that is not very polite.

This. Also from NE, and my mother always assumed "yes ma'am" was being used ironically and thus was a sign of sass (what my mom called "being fresh"). She rarely travelled outside of NE, so wouldn't have heard it used. Uch anyway.

Grew up in NE and agree, my mom would definitely say I was being fresh.

We are military and our kids were born and raised for the first few years further south. We have them say Miss First Name because that is the norm where we lived. When we are up in NE, that gets looks - its more Mrs. Last Name in that area. I think this is all very regional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

Even when the adults specifically ask your kids to use just the adults' first name?

Even then. I'm instilling a pattern of behavior and a set of manners that I want them to have. Other people don't get to interfere with that. It confuses the kid to have some adult tell them to disobey their parent by doing something they are taught to do. Then the child is torn between obeying parents or pleasing some adult.

You purposely want your children to call an adult by a name that the adult does not want to be called? That's not what I consider politeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

Even when the adults specifically ask your kids to use just the adults' first name?

Even then. I'm instilling a pattern of behavior and a set of manners that I want them to have. Other people don't get to interfere with that. It confuses the kid to have some adult tell them to disobey their parent by doing something they are taught to do. Then the child is torn between obeying parents or pleasing some adult.

You purposely want your children to call an adult by a name that the adult does not want to be called? That's not what I consider politeness.

+1

I will sneak your kid candy if they respect my preference to NOT use that "miss" crap on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

Even when the adults specifically ask your kids to use just the adults' first name?

Even then. I'm instilling a pattern of behavior and a set of manners that I want them to have. Other people don't get to interfere with that. It confuses the kid to have some adult tell them to disobey their parent by doing something they are taught to do. Then the child is torn between obeying parents or pleasing some adult.

You purposely want your children to call an adult by a name that the adult does not want to be called? That's not what I consider politeness.

Personally, I think that's a misconception. No adult has ever told my kids to just call them Mary when they use Miss Mary. That's a bizarro scenario I have only ever seen on DCUM. In any case you're purposely misconstruing what I said to suggest I do this to irritate adults which you know is not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

Even when the adults specifically ask your kids to use just the adults' first name?

Even then. I'm instilling a pattern of behavior and a set of manners that I want them to have. Other people don't get to interfere with that. It confuses the kid to have some adult tell them to disobey their parent by doing something they are taught to do. Then the child is torn between obeying parents or pleasing some adult.

You purposely want your children to call an adult by a name that the adult does not want to be called? That's not what I consider politeness.

+1

I will sneak your kid candy if they respect my preference to NOT use that "miss" crap on me.

Oh wow you sure showed me. Giving my kid candy, how ever would I recover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am from rural New England and sir/ma'am would definitely seem weird in my area. I think it would come across as implying that the person is uptight, bossy, or overly concerned with hierarchy and status. Personally, I am not offended or bothered by it, but I think it's important to understand that in some places it carries a meaning that is not very polite.

This. Also from NE, and my mother always assumed "yes ma'am" was being used ironically and thus was a sign of sass (what my mom called "being fresh"). She rarely travelled outside of NE, so wouldn't have heard it used. Uch anyway.

Grew up in NE and agree, my mom would definitely say I was being fresh.

We are military and our kids were born and raised for the first few years further south. We have them say Miss First Name because that is the norm where we lived. When we are up in NE, that gets looks - its more Mrs. Last Name in that area. I think this is all very regional.

Miss First Name vs Mrs Last Name can be regional, but they both beat Hey Larla by a mile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids use it. It's respectful. They also call adults "Miss/Mr" and would never just use their first name.

Nothing I hate worse than hearing an adult call for a kid or ask a kid a question and the kid responding "YEAH?"

Even when the adults specifically ask your kids to use just the adults' first name?

Even then. I'm instilling a pattern of behavior and a set of manners that I want them to have. Other people don't get to interfere with that. It confuses the kid to have some adult tell them to disobey their parent by doing something they are taught to do. Then the child is torn between obeying parents or pleasing some adult.

You purposely want your children to call an adult by a name that the adult does not want to be called? That's not what I consider politeness.

NP here. I grew up using ma'am/sir, but I'm not enforcing it with my child. But I do ask that he use Ms/Mr automatically until/unless the person expresses a preference. If they express a preference, he should honor that request. He's in preschool, so most adults are still "Ms FirstName" but I assumed that would morph into Ms LastName at elementary school when the switch comes with teachers.

After growing up in a fairly formal home, it is weird to me to have a 5yo address me by my first name, but it's also weird to be addressed as Mrs HisLastName, because I didn't change my name. Since I have no strong preference, I just dodge the whole thing.

Unless the tone of sir/maam is obnoxious, sarcastic, or obviously rude, I have no problem with it at all. It still rolls off my tongue out of habit, especially with strangers who are much older or in service situations.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the north, so definitely wasn't raised with sir/ma'am. But we're actually teaching my son to use it. It started in Tae Kwon Do, where his Master requires that everything be yes, sir/thank you, sir/etc.
DS is really shy and doesn't like to talk to adults, so it's pretty easy for him to come off as rude. By giving him some very explicit and polite terms to use (yes, sir; may I please; excuse me) it enables him to interact with adults and sound a little more polite than he otherwise would.
My daughter is a chatty-cathy and a very sweet and naturally polite kid, so we probably wouldn't have instituted the sir/ma'am thing with her if she'd been born first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Personally, I think that's a misconception. No adult has ever told my kids to just call them Mary when they use Miss Mary. That's a bizarro scenario I have only ever seen on DCUM. In any case you're purposely misconstruing what I said to suggest I do this to irritate adults which you know is not true.

Here is an actual real-life scenario I have encountered many times in real actual life:

Me to kid: This is Mr/Mrs/Ms Lastname. (Or: This is Mr/Misss Firstname.)
Person to kid: You can call me Firstname. (Or: Please call me Firstname.) (Or: Hi, I'm Firstname.)

So then your kids are supposed to...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Personally, I think that's a misconception. No adult has ever told my kids to just call them Mary when they use Miss Mary. That's a bizarro scenario I have only ever seen on DCUM. In any case you're purposely misconstruing what I said to suggest I do this to irritate adults which you know is not true.

Here is an actual real-life scenario I have encountered many times in real actual life:

Me to kid: This is Mr/Mrs/Ms Lastname. (Or: This is Mr/Misss Firstname.)
Person to kid: You can call me Firstname. (Or: Please call me Firstname.) (Or: Hi, I'm Firstname.)

So then your kids are supposed to...?

I'd laugh and say, well, if you don't mind, we really prefer they use Mr. when addressing adults.

[Anonymous]

Miss Kitty!