Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"

[Anonymous]

It is a matter of teaching your beaten to havevresoect for theirvelders. I said sir and ma'am, my children did, and their children damn well better day sir and ma'am to this set of grandparents. Also, children do not call adults by their first name. Children are not the equal of adults. We have an entire generation of ill-mannered, self-absorbed brats all stemming from theirbill-manbered, self-absorbed parents teaching them no manners,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a matter of teaching your beaten to havevresoect for theirvelders. I said sir and ma'am, my children did, and their children damn well better day sir and ma'am to this set of grandparents. Also, children do not call adults by their first name. Children are not the equal of adults. We have an entire generation of ill-mannered, self-absorbed brats all stemming from theirbill-manbered, self-absorbed parents teaching them no manners,

What if the adults ask the children to? Does "Please call me by my first name" "No." show respect for elders?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But seriously, what's the big deal if a kid calls you Miss Jane instead of Jane?

Parent's reasoning: We want to instill in our kids a general sense of respect and conscientiousness that will serve them even into adulthood. We want them to make a good first impression, because this will be beneficial to them in any kind of social or professional situation. That's our stake in asking them to use titles like Miss or Mr, even if it's just followed by the first name, not the last. To me, that makes sense. That's a good reason. I cannot imagine why any adult cares so much what a kid calls them that they would look in the face of clear reasoning and say "BUT I WANT TO BE CALLED JAAAAAAAAANE."

I don't think it's respectful, or conscientious, to call somebody something they don't want to be called, after they have specifically asked not to be called that.

Would this be respectful or conscientious?

You: Hi, I'm Larla Jones.
Me: Hi, Kathleen. Nice to meet you.
You: Actually, my name is Larla.
Me: I prefer to call you Kathleen. That's how my parents raised me.

What kind of moronic comparison is this? Not one person on this thread has said we let our kids make up names for people and they have to go by them. Saying yes ma'am to somebody or addressing them as Miss is not the same thing as calling them Jenny when their name is Kathy. Get it together or don't jump in the ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But seriously, what's the big deal if a kid calls you Miss Jane instead of Jane?

Parent's reasoning: We want to instill in our kids a general sense of respect and conscientiousness that will serve them even into adulthood. We want them to make a good first impression, because this will be beneficial to them in any kind of social or professional situation. That's our stake in asking them to use titles like Miss or Mr, even if it's just followed by the first name, not the last. To me, that makes sense. That's a good reason. I cannot imagine why any adult cares so much what a kid calls them that they would look in the face of clear reasoning and say "BUT I WANT TO BE CALLED JAAAAAAAAANE."

I don't think it's respectful, or conscientious, to call somebody something they don't want to be called, after they have specifically asked not to be called that.

Would this be respectful or conscientious?

You: Hi, I'm Larla Jones.
Me: Hi, Kathleen. Nice to meet you.
You: Actually, my name is Larla.
Me: I prefer to call you Kathleen. That's how my parents raised me.

What kind of moronic comparison is this? Not one person on this thread has said we let our kids make up names for people and they have to go by them. Saying yes ma'am to somebody or addressing them as Miss is not the same thing as calling them Jenny when their name is Kathy. Get it together or don't jump in the ring.

You: Hi, I'm Kathy Jones.
Me: Hi Catherine. Nice to meet you.
You: Actually, I go by Kathy. Could you please call me Kathy?
Me: No, Catherine. My parents taught me that it was respectful to call people by their complete name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But seriously, what's the big deal if a kid calls you Miss Jane instead of Jane?

Parent's reasoning: We want to instill in our kids a general sense of respect and conscientiousness that will serve them even into adulthood. We want them to make a good first impression, because this will be beneficial to them in any kind of social or professional situation. That's our stake in asking them to use titles like Miss or Mr, even if it's just followed by the first name, not the last. To me, that makes sense. That's a good reason. I cannot imagine why any adult cares so much what a kid calls them that they would look in the face of clear reasoning and say "BUT I WANT TO BE CALLED JAAAAAAAAANE."

I don't think it's respectful, or conscientious, to call somebody something they don't want to be called, after they have specifically asked not to be called that.

Would this be respectful or conscientious?

You: Hi, I'm Larla Jones.
Me: Hi, Kathleen. Nice to meet you.
You: Actually, my name is Larla.
Me: I prefer to call you Kathleen. That's how my parents raised me.

What kind of moronic comparison is this? Not one person on this thread has said we let our kids make up names for people and they have to go by them. Saying yes ma'am to somebody or addressing them as Miss is not the same thing as calling them Jenny when their name is Kathy. Get it together or don't jump in the ring.

You: Hi, I'm Kathy Jones.
Me: Hi Catherine. Nice to meet you.
You: Actually, I go by Kathy. Could you please call me Kathy?
Me: No, Catherine. My parents taught me that it was respectful to call people by their complete name.

That's still not an accurate comparison. You are saying that the child is changing the person's name, and they aren't. They are simply using honorifics that parents require.

[Anonymous]

Yes, and the other person is simply calling the person by their full name instead of by a nickname.

Bottom line: you don't show respect for somebody by disregarding their stated wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and the other person is simply calling the person by their full name instead of by a nickname.

Bottom line: you don't show respect for somebody by disregarding their stated wishes.

I'm the nanny PP. My charges were allowed to call someone either Kathy or Kathleen... as long as it was prefaced with Miss, Ms. or Mrs. The person can choose what name they are called, but you don't get to choose whether someone else uses an honorific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, and the other person is simply calling the person by their full name instead of by a nickname.

Bottom line: you don't show respect for somebody by disregarding their stated wishes.

I'm the nanny PP. My charges were allowed to call someone either Kathy or Kathleen... as long as it was prefaced with Miss, Ms. or Mrs. The person can choose what name they are called, but you don't get to choose whether someone else uses an honorific.

Why do you get to choose what name somebody calls you but you don't get to choose whether somebody uses an honorific with that name? (Besides that your employer said so.)

[Anonymous]

When I visit my relatives in Texas, we sometimes get a visit from the neighbors and her two kids, they always say sir and maam and it does sound wonderful. You come away thinking "what nice well brought up kids, I wish I was teaching my kids to be respectful like that." My MIL says that's how everybody was brought up when she was kid in that small town. Maybe it's old fashioned but I like it. This is not a well-off family - struggling single mom blue collar church going, her kids are just really impressive and the polite language helps. Makes you want to offer them jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My take is that it's very much a cultural thing- generally southern. Though we don't do it in my house, I have no issues with it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Parent's reasoning: We want to instill in our kids a general sense of respect and conscientiousness that will serve them even into adulthood. We want them to make a good first impression, because this will be beneficial to them in any kind of social or professional situation. That's our stake in asking them to use titles like Miss or Mr, even if it's just followed by the first name, not the last. To me, that makes sense. That's a good reason. I cannot imagine why any adult cares so much what a kid calls them that they would look in the face of clear reasoning and say "BUT I WANT TO BE CALLED JAAAAAAAAANE."

Calling me Miss Jane doesn't seem respectful when they're pushing past me to get somewhere just because they tossed Miss in front of it. Or when they interrupt me numerous times. There are more important ways to show respect. I'm not sure how this conversation started, but my DD calls her friend's dad "Bobo." That's not his name or anywhere close to it. Yet, when we saw him in town loading stuff into his trunk, she ran over to help. THAT is respectful. When she saw him waiting a half hour for a train while having a cold, she asked if we could buy him a tea across the street and then ran to bring it to him. THAT is respect. And when she leaves her friend's house, she says to him and his wife, "Thanks for having me!" Yet not one "sir" ever crosses her lips.

I think of saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" as either southern or military-related. I don't really respect the south or the military so neither are things I want to emulate.

Many of us don't really respect anyone so ignorant that he/she would dismiss an entire region or group the way you have here. I wouldn't "want to emulate" those who think like you.

[Anonymous]

My husband has made the use of yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, and no ma'am mandatory in our house. We have three very polite teenage boys who have been raised with this requirement. We get compliments all the time.

[Anonymous]

I'm from Hawaii and use Aunty & Uncle. All my DC friends call me Aunty. I much prefer

[Anonymous]

I don't care about yes, sir. I was militant about please and thank you. I have been told by teachers that my children are almost the only kids who say it routinely and with meaning. Yes, sir/yes, ma'am is too formal and antiquated.

[Anonymous]

It is fake respect.