Do you sometimes wish you were widowed
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Anonymous
I'd really like to know how long you've been married. More than 15 years? |
Anonymous
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It's pretty twisted, but I can understand why some people would want this - you're the center of attention, everyone bends over backwards for you and pities you, etc. It's the ultimate martyr. And it allows OP's relationship to end without having the messiness of a divorce or shame/guilt that OP's marriage is a "failure."
Still, it's egregious. |
Anonymous
12 years. So you're saying my death wish will be arriving soon? That all the old marrieds feel this way?! |
Anonymous
I'm saying that little things can become big things the longer you are married. I've been married 20 years, and although I don't daydream about it, I can understand it. |
Anonymous
| I wonder what helps OP stay married to the person she wishes not to be alive anymore. Must be hell. |
Anonymous
Clearly, it is normal. Doesn't mean you have a good marriage, but based on the nmber of people here who said they have had a little daydream abou it, it is normal |
Anonymous
OP wants a divorce, but can't handle being the "bad guy" that broke up the marriage. Basically, OP wants to be martyred and not accept any responsibility from the break up of the marriage. A spouse dying is - in the OP's mind - an easy and potentially beneficial way out of the marriage. |
Anonymous
| No. I know we have our ups and downs but I would die without him. |
Anonymous
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I have a co-parent who is often deployed to war zones. even on his most annoying days, I've definitely never wished him dead. As a single parent, I have the best of both worlds when he's around. I get time with our child, time away from our child and child support. If he were to die, I'd get much less "break time" from my child, she'd be missing her dad and there might be money issues until we got the insurance straightened out. There's really no way my life would improve with him gone. And her life would be so, so much worse.
So if you have spent time thinking about how it would be nice to be a widow... do yourself and your children a favor and start working on that divorce. If your spouse is abusive, I still have the same advice, though at least I understand the impulse a bit more. |
Anonymous
Dramatic much? |
Anonymous
So are you just willfully ignoring everyone who is horrified or feels differently? |
Anonymous
I don't know if it's normal or not but I do know that you'd have to be an idiot to think that responses from a anonymous web board determines what is normal. Not only is DCUM a small sample of society, but each post is responded to by people who are interested in the topic. |
Anonymous
| No, never would I wish that. In fact, it's a huge fear of mine. One day one if us will be without each other. Can't even imagine it. |
Anonymous
No. It is also normal to be horrified by the idea of it. Normal has a wide wide range. |
Anonymous
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I have. My DH was out of town for a little over a year doing some additional training in his field. At some point, it became apparent that he was going to want me to move 1000 miles away from my family and friends, get a new job, etc. I hadn't seen him for a year, but I was still supporting him financially. He still had/has $3 million in life insurance from when he had a high paying job that he didn't stay at for long. I hadn't seen then guy for a year, and he was seriously messing with my life. There were times that I wished he would just die. I did consider divorce and that was what initially drew me to DCUM. But I read so many horror stories and realized it wasn't the clean break I had fantasized about.
I can't really say that anymore. I moved with the kids about eight months ago, and there is no going back. And he is a good dad to our kids. |