Do you sometimes wish you were widowed

[Anonymous]

Yes. The posters are serious. They simultaneously contemplate widowhood and call widows self-righteous. It’s the finest line no one else can fathom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do - DH is a jerk and I can't stand being with him. Yet, I don't want a divorce as that would made DD sad.

I do, but I think a parents death would also gut my kids.

OP, if your reason for not divorcing is that it would make your DD sad ... do you not think him dying would make her even sadder?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Next to my children dying, this is my biggest fear. I'm not sure how I could recover .

So, how does your spouse like playing third or lower fiddle to your kids?

That's not fair. I think we all contemplate the very real possibility of outliving our spouse. It is a real possibility for all of us--but women even more so. No parent should EVER have to experience the death of a child--even an adult child. It just is not the natural order of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know two widows with kids. Their husbands were awful. One was an alcoholic who couldn't hold it together and lived separately. The other had some sort of severe ASD or something and they lived separately because of it. In neither situation was the family worse off without him around. In fact, from what I can see they're better off. And the mom/wife no longer has to take care of him on top of caring for the kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were a widow and had been happily married etc etc I wouldn’t click on this thread. This thread is for unhappy married people. Obviously.

True

But the angry argumentative people just cant stop their nonsense attacks. Such lack of understanding you know it’s on purpose, to be a trouble maker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s normal to wish your spouse were dead. I would be devastated if my DH died and my children too! Are the posters serious?

Troll

[Anonymous]

I once spoke to a therapist about this very topic and they said it was a normal thing that people having marital difficulties feel.

Does anyone remember this scene from This is 40?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=nlcpuphFhUSppqAN&v=Q1uW0c5CEe4&feature=youtu.be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once spoke to a therapist about this very topic and they said it was a normal thing that people having marital difficulties feel.

Does anyone remember this scene from This is 40?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=nlcpuphFhUSppqAN&v=Q1uW0c5CEe4&feature=youtu.be

I said it out loud to my therapist recently. She wanted to be sure I wasn’t fixated on it, but said it was a pretty normal feeling after a big betrayal. Would my kids be devastated? Yes. But unlike being totally abandoned, they wouldn’t have those awful “is this my fault” questions. I’m envious of people who have never had thoughts like this.

[Anonymous]

Men considering getting married should read this thread.

Girlfriends are easy to get rid of. Wives can cost millions to get rid of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once spoke to a therapist about this very topic and they said it was a normal thing that people having marital difficulties feel.

Does anyone remember this scene from This is 40?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=nlcpuphFhUSppqAN&v=Q1uW0c5CEe4&feature=youtu.be

I was just thinking of that scene.

[Anonymous]

Very much so. My ex is a malignant narcissist and I truly believe we would all be better off without him. He is a cancer. Plus we would have more money. Unfortunately it seems only the nice guys die young. With his abusive tendencies he will likely live to be 100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very much so. My ex is a malignant narcissist and I truly believe we would all be better off without him. He is a cancer. Plus we would have more money. Unfortunately it seems only the nice guys die young. With his abusive tendencies he will likely live to be 100.

You and I have everything in common.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I've thought of it and I'm sure my husband has too. It's just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow - since kids were young- and I do not wish this life on anyone.

You would if you had an abusive marriage: would love nothing better than living life with just me and my kids. That is far better than a horrible marriage or having to coparent with someone you never want to speak to again.

Can you please not say this to a widow? We are traumatized enough as it is without your projections. I am sorry for anyone's trauma about an abusive marriage, but please extend kindness to others' situations without inserting a different narrative. Being in an abusive marriage is terrible. Being a widow is terrible. Leave it at that, please.

Can you please not bring up your widow-hood to those who wish they were widowed? It is triggering. We are traumatized enough without your self-righteous feelings. I'm sorry for your loss, but stop flaunting your happy marriage and devestating loss. How about you just don't read the threads that don't seem relevant to you?

Ain't that right? Why were these self-righteous women in their high horses even reading this thread in the first place?? And just newsflash, we do not outright wish death upon our spouses, NO! we just simply daydream of becoming alone and be rid of the shackles of marriage with awful husbands! Divorce you say?? Well, do you guarantee that it will all be rainbows and sunshine after you go separate ways? didn't think so.. You do not know how I walk in these shoes same way I don't in yours and sorry for your loss but, again this thread and this question is not meant for you people who are in fact grieving and is irrelevant to what you are going through

NP here. Maybe you can explain to people how you reside with someone, in the same house, whom you so clearly despise. Surely it would be worse to be apart, and to start your life over? What are your fears? That no one will want you? That you will be alone? Broke? Both? Something else? Trying to imagine feeling this way, yet refusing to take steps to change the situation, and live a healthier, more fulfilling life. Why did you marry? To check a box?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow - since kids were young- and I do not wish this life on anyone.

You would if you had an abusive marriage: would love nothing better than living life with just me and my kids. That is far better than a horrible marriage or having to coparent with someone you never want to speak to again.

Can you please not say this to a widow? We are traumatized enough as it is without your projections. I am sorry for anyone's trauma about an abusive marriage, but please extend kindness to others' situations without inserting a different narrative. Being in an abusive marriage is terrible. Being a widow is terrible. Leave it at that, please.

Can you please not bring up your widow-hood to those who wish they were widowed? It is triggering. We are traumatized enough without your self-righteous feelings. I'm sorry for your loss, but stop flaunting your happy marriage and devestating loss. How about you just don't read the threads that don't seem relevant to you?

Ain't that right? Why were these self-righteous women in their high horses even reading this thread in the first place?? And just newsflash, we do not outright wish death upon our spouses, NO! we just simply daydream of becoming alone and be rid of the shackles of marriage with awful husbands! Divorce you say?? Well, do you guarantee that it will all be rainbows and sunshine after you go separate ways? didn't think so.. You do not know how I walk in these shoes same way I don't in yours and sorry for your loss but, again this thread and this question is not meant for you people who are in fact grieving and is irrelevant to what you are going through

NP here. Maybe you can explain to people how you reside with someone, in the same house, whom you so clearly despise. Surely it would be worse to be apart, and to start your life over? What are your fears? That no one will want you? That you will be alone? Broke? Both? Something else? Trying to imagine feeling this way, yet refusing to take steps to change the situation, and live a healthier, more fulfilling life. Why did you marry? To check a box?

The fantasy is to be apart and start over.
I mean, you could say that I wish for him to disappear or to move away and forget about me and the kids.