Coming to grips with longterm relationship ending... why so hard?

[Anonymous]

Can someone please post the other thread this guy started?

It was the EXACT same details and tone. I think the posters asked him about Aspergers in that thread as well.

I can't find it on here but I remember it well

[Anonymous]

Believe me when I say this. Even if you were somehow successful in "getting your old girlfriend back" in a manner that would allow you to move the relationship to marriage, the odds are overwhelming that her current lack of interest and passion in you, the relationship, and sex will come back in worse form after marriage and kids. Whatever problems exist before marriage are almost always worse and more significant after marriage. And please, do not move in with anyone ever again. Move on now and accept that you may not always be able to understand why things go awry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're only annoying in the way my family members with Asperger's are annoying...I feel for you, because I think you have difficulty with insight and social acuity.

not at all. just love debating people who can't keep up with facts and whose arguments are easy to poke holes in. i will admit it does make me feel intellectually superior. but thankfully a few nice posters have added sensible comments.

I think the question is not why she keeps the status quo. To me the question is why in the world would you stay in a relationship, live with, and even consider marrying someone to whom you have no sex for over a year? One thing I have learned from the DCUM chatter is that lack of sex in a relationship, or unequal libidos are one of the leading causes of infidelity and breakups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please post the other thread this guy started?

It was the EXACT same details and tone. I think the posters asked him about Aspergers in that thread as well.

I can't find it on here but I remember it well

I thought I was going crazy, I totally remember that thread.
It was the exact same circular round and round argument demanding that someone tell him why his girlfriend was acting like this.

[Anonymous]

Asperger's for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asperger's for sure.

This is so offensive to people with Asperger's and those who know and love them.

You don't know the OP's diagnosis, if he even has one. He's abrasive and not easy to talk to. That's all you know.

If you've been in the DC area for more than 20 minutes, you know there are many abrasive people and many who (particularly men) think they know more than everyone else in the world.

Asperger's is not shorthand for jerk. Educate yourself.

And for everyone who plans to respond that you're some expert: no expert would post that they can make this diagnosis from an internet thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asperger's for sure.

+1
I agree that Asperger's does not automatically make you a jerk, but this OP is without a doubt a jerk who happens to have Asperger's.

[Anonymous]

To answer your question: Change is hard.

Shit or get off the pot. Actually, go ahead and shit. Flush her.

[Anonymous]

Don't marry her.

[Anonymous]

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/474181.page

[Anonymous]

OMG, I just started reading the earlier thread. OP< why the heck are you so obsessed with why she is not ending it with you?

My guess is that even though you said you were not going to get married unless things heated up, she didn't really believe that you would end it. And so, just as its puzzling as to why she hasn't ended it, its puzzling why you haven't either. Both of you are waiting for the other person to make a move. But you're definitely very, very strange. If you have any compassion at all, break up with her.

[Anonymous]

Just read as much of the other thread as I can stand. OP is either an attention-seeking psycho or doing his doctoral thesis on on-line communities.

[Anonymous]

She wants marriage and a baby, but not enough to have sex with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants marriage and a baby, but not enough to have sex with you.

We have our winner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stick a fork in it. You're done. You had a year of excitement and now you're just not into each other.

No kids, no mortgage, no ring, no big wedding, no problem. Just go.

Go do something you feel passionate about. Shake things up. Try skydiving. Your posts are unbearably hyperanalytical. Get out of your head, get excited about something, and then you'll have the capacity to be more excited about your next relationship.

+1 This. If it's hit this stage already, I'd move on. She seems content with the relationship as is and you don't. You've tried. Looks like it's time to move on.