They want us to pay for their travel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As this has progressed and the OP's answered more questions, I'm starting to think the OP is pulling our leg.

The last response is what did it for me: who lets inlaws dictate who they invite to a christening? Especially when the inlaws don't know any of the people.

+1. OP's being very selective in which questions she answers...looking fishy.

It's a little hard when you can't multiquote because you're anonymous. What answers are you looking for?

MIL wants to attend a big party and I believe was feeling left out. She doesn't care about the occasion or if she doesn't know anyone.

Given that your ILs are not religious, want you to have a big party that you don't want to have even though they won't know anyone there, and want you to pay for expensive plane tickets, what possible justification does your husband offer for giving in to their demands? Surely he has to see how ridiculous this is. Make sure your inlaws know they're invited to the small get together you're having if they want to use your reward tickets, and leave it at that.

He claims that because it's so important to us, it would be rude to exclude them, and since we know they can't afford it, we're excluding them by default. He makes a good argument, but I just - I just can't do it. I'm going to have another talk with him tonight about the award tickets, and then, as a PP mentioned, talk to him about him cutting costs elsewhere to make up whatever of our money he does want to spend.

[Anonymous]

OP: maybe this can be an object lesson for women who are not yet married.

Did you see any signs of this sort of entitled behavior before you were married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As this has progressed and the OP's answered more questions, I'm starting to think the OP is pulling our leg.

The last response is what did it for me: who lets inlaws dictate who they invite to a christening? Especially when the inlaws don't know any of the people.

+1. OP's being very selective in which questions she answers...looking fishy.

It's a little hard when you can't multiquote because you're anonymous. What answers are you looking for?

MIL wants to attend a big party and I believe was feeling left out. She doesn't care about the occasion or if she doesn't know anyone.

Given that your ILs are not religious, want you to have a big party that you don't want to have even though they won't know anyone there, and want you to pay for expensive plane tickets, what possible justification does your husband offer for giving in to their demands? Surely he has to see how ridiculous this is. Make sure your inlaws know they're invited to the small get together you're having if they want to use your reward tickets, and leave it at that.

So I guess you can't have the baby baptized where the ILs live because then your parents have to travel out there? Would they object to that?

He claims that because it's so important to us, it would be rude to exclude them, and since we know they can't afford it, we're excluding them by default. He makes a good argument, but I just - I just can't do it. I'm going to have another talk with him tonight about the award tickets, and then, as a PP mentioned, talk to him about him cutting costs elsewhere to make up whatever of our money he does want to spend.

Is this the first grandchild? Would it really ruin them to miss it? Can't they just save up for it, maybe baptize the baby a year later instead (FYI, that's what DH and I are doing because we're moving and therefore, never felt like joining a parish here, and I'm not super-religious myself and personally I don't think my kid will suffer being baptized at age 1 rather than 3 months old but that's just me). Many of us have parents and ILs who are not wealthy but really want to visit and will save up for the plane tickets. My own ILs do it. They just need to plan ahead.

Seriously, you don't need to fly them in on your dime for this. It's unfair. If they miss it, they're excluding themselves. Unless they're on welfare, there's no reason they can't save up for this, especially if they already have their own favorite airline.

FYI, poor, broke, people don't have a favorite airline. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Point of clarification, which of these things happened:

1. You/DH offered the free awards tickets, and the in-laws said "we don't fly that airline, dear"
OR
2. You told your husband that he should offer them the awards tickets and he told you "they don't fly that airline, dear"


Huge difference.

OP, can you answer this question? You have never addressed it clearly, and people are assuming the inlaws are the jerks here, when it could also by your husband (or both).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Point of clarification, which of these things happened:

1. You/DH offered the free awards tickets, and the in-laws said "we don't fly that airline, dear"
OR
2. You told your husband that he should offer them the awards tickets and he told you "they don't fly that airline, dear"


Huge difference.

OP, can you answer this question? You have never addressed it clearly, and people are assuming the inlaws are the jerks here, when it could also by your husband (or both).

Sorry. It was number 1. To DH's credit, he was a little taken aback, but told me he didn't know what else we could do.

[Anonymous]

I spent $4000 for the luncheon following my children's baptisms, communions...

[Anonymous]

Each time

[Anonymous]

Is it some big surprise to them that you are baptizing the baby? They should have saved if they care so much about their favorite airline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Point of clarification, which of these things happened:

1. You/DH offered the free awards tickets, and the in-laws said "we don't fly that airline, dear"
OR
2. You told your husband that he should offer them the awards tickets and he told you "they don't fly that airline, dear"


Huge difference.

OP, can you answer this question? You have never addressed it clearly, and people are assuming the inlaws are the jerks here, when it could also by your husband (or both).

Sorry. It was number 1. To DH's credit, he was a little taken aback, but told me he didn't know what else we could do.

Are you f... joking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As this has progressed and the OP's answered more questions, I'm starting to think the OP is pulling our leg.

The last response is what did it for me: who lets inlaws dictate who they invite to a christening? Especially when the inlaws don't know any of the people.

I think OP had a BF last weekend who was hunting bobcats...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As this has progressed and the OP's answered more questions, I'm starting to think the OP is pulling our leg.

The last response is what did it for me: who lets inlaws dictate who they invite to a christening? Especially when the inlaws don't know any of the people.

+1. OP's being very selective in which questions she answers...looking fishy.

It's a little hard when you can't multiquote because you're anonymous. What answers are you looking for?

MIL wants to attend a big party and I believe was feeling left out. She doesn't care about the occasion or if she doesn't know anyone.

Given that your ILs are not religious, want you to have a big party that you don't want to have even though they won't know anyone there, and want you to pay for expensive plane tickets, what possible justification does your husband offer for giving in to their demands? Surely he has to see how ridiculous this is. Make sure your inlaws know they're invited to the small get together you're having if they want to use your reward tickets, and leave it at that.

So I guess you can't have the baby baptized where the ILs live because then your parents have to travel out there? Would they object to that?

He claims that because it's so important to us, it would be rude to exclude them, and since we know they can't afford it, we're excluding them by default. He makes a good argument, but I just - I just can't do it. I'm going to have another talk with him tonight about the award tickets, and then, as a PP mentioned, talk to him about him cutting costs elsewhere to make up whatever of our money he does want to spend.

Is this the first grandchild? Would it really ruin them to miss it? Can't they just save up for it, maybe baptize the baby a year later instead (FYI, that's what DH and I are doing because we're moving and therefore, never felt like joining a parish here, and I'm not super-religious myself and personally I don't think my kid will suffer being baptized at age 1 rather than 3 months old but that's just me). Many of us have parents and ILs who are not wealthy but really want to visit and will save up for the plane tickets. My own ILs do it. They just need to plan ahead.

Seriously, you don't need to fly them in on your dime for this. It's unfair. If they miss it, they're excluding themselves. Unless they're on welfare, there's no reason they can't save up for this, especially if they already have their own favorite airline.

FYI, poor, broke, people don't have a favorite airline. Think about it.

+100000. They can;t use a credit card and pay it off over time? Seems like you all have to make all the sacrifices. I would not budge on this one OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Point of clarification, which of these things happened:

1. You/DH offered the free awards tickets, and the in-laws said "we don't fly that airline, dear"
OR
2. You told your husband that he should offer them the awards tickets and he told you "they don't fly that airline, dear"


Huge difference.

OP, can you answer this question? You have never addressed it clearly, and people are assuming the inlaws are the jerks here, when it could also by your husband (or both).

Sorry. It was number 1. To DH's credit, he was a little taken aback, but told me he didn't know what else we could do.

Are you f... joking?

No. His exactly words were, "It's really important to us, so it's really important to them, so they need to be here." I want to tear my hair out.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell ILs that you are terribly sorry, but you can't afford to fly them out, and if they can't use our miles, you'll postpone the baptism until they have saved up the airfare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As this has progressed and the OP's answered more questions, I'm starting to think the OP is pulling our leg.

The last response is what did it for me: who lets inlaws dictate who they invite to a christening? Especially when the inlaws don't know any of the people.

+1. OP's being very selective in which questions she answers...looking fishy.

It's a little hard when you can't multiquote because you're anonymous. What answers are you looking for?

MIL wants to attend a big party and I believe was feeling left out. She doesn't care about the occasion or if she doesn't know anyone.

Given that your ILs are not religious, want you to have a big party that you don't want to have even though they won't know anyone there, and want you to pay for expensive plane tickets, what possible justification does your husband offer for giving in to their demands? Surely he has to see how ridiculous this is. Make sure your inlaws know they're invited to the small get together you're having if they want to use your reward tickets, and leave it at that.

He claims that because it's so important to us, it would be rude to exclude them, and since we know they can't afford it, we're excluding them by default. He makes a good argument, but I just - I just can't do it. I'm going to have another talk with him tonight about the award tickets, and then, as a PP mentioned, talk to him about him cutting costs elsewhere to make up whatever of our money he does want to spend.

This is such bad logic that it makes my head hurt.

Not to mention that they are, in fact, excluding themselves by refusing to fly on the airline you have miles on.

[Anonymous]

Miles or nothing.

Easy peasy.