They want us to pay for their travel

[Anonymous]

I'm finding out that baptisms are a very big thing in DH's family. They're big to me too, but not as the social event that my IL's see them as. DC is getting baptized this summer and MIL and FIL are insisting on coming, except they want us to pay their travel expenses! (They live halfway across the country). We're not poor, but we do have very expensive childcare, and this will deplete our vacation fund plus some, which means no vacation this year and possibly next year. They also want us to throw a big party for DC. DH has told me there's no other way and he won't put his foot down with mom and dad. I've offered to fly them here on award tickets, but they "don't fly that airline, dear." I just wanted a sacrament performed and now it's costing us $1500+ at the very LEAST (we don't have room in our house for them so we'd have to put them up in a hotel as well). Am I in the wrong here?

[Anonymous]

You're not wrong, but I'm curious about how often your DC gets to see that side of his grandparents if it's so cost prohibitive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not wrong, but I'm curious about how often your DC gets to see that side of his grandparents if it's so cost prohibitive?

Well, he's only 3 months old, so never. They were too "busy" to see him when he was born. We'll probably take him to visit later this year and combine it with our vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm finding out that baptisms are a very big thing in DH's family. They're big to me too, but not as the social event that my IL's see them as. DC is getting baptized this summer and MIL and FIL are insisting on coming, except they want us to pay their travel expenses! (They live halfway across the country). We're not poor, but we do have very expensive childcare, and this will deplete our vacation fund plus some, which means no vacation this year and possibly next year. They also want us to throw a big party for DC. DH has told me there's no other way and he won't put his foot down with mom and dad. I've offered to fly them here on award tickets, but they "don't fly that airline, dear." I just wanted a sacrament performed and now it's costing us $1500+ at the very LEAST (we don't have room in our house for them so we'd have to put them up in a hotel as well). Am I in the wrong here?

absofuckinglutely not.

this sounds like the dh in the other thread...if he won't put his foot down and say NO then you do it.

[Anonymous]

You're not wrong, they sound pushy. I can understand helping out a parent who sincerely can not afford to fly out to see you but the subsequent demands that you also throw a big party seem...well, pushy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm finding out that baptisms are a very big thing in DH's family. They're big to me too, but not as the social event that my IL's see them as. DC is getting baptized this summer and MIL and FIL are insisting on coming, except they want us to pay their travel expenses! (They live halfway across the country). We're not poor, but we do have very expensive childcare, and this will deplete our vacation fund plus some, which means no vacation this year and possibly next year. They also want us to throw a big party for DC. DH has told me there's no other way and he won't put his foot down with mom and dad. I've offered to fly them here on award tickets, but they "don't fly that airline, dear." I just wanted a sacrament performed and now it's costing us $1500+ at the very LEAST (we don't have room in our house for them so we'd have to put them up in a hotel as well). Am I in the wrong here?

Well he should put his foot down on this. Push back OP. But be gracious about the rest if you can.

[Anonymous]

I think the tickets using reward points was the perfect compromise. I would say we can't afford to pay cash so either take these tickets we earned or not. Who prefers a specific airline these days??? They all suck equally!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm finding out that baptisms are a very big thing in DH's family. They're big to me too, but not as the social event that my IL's see them as. DC is getting baptized this summer and MIL and FIL are insisting on coming, except they want us to pay their travel expenses! (They live halfway across the country). We're not poor, but we do have very expensive childcare, and this will deplete our vacation fund plus some, which means no vacation this year and possibly next year. They also want us to throw a big party for DC. DH has told me there's no other way and he won't put his foot down with mom and dad. I've offered to fly them here on award tickets, but they "don't fly that airline, dear." I just wanted a sacrament performed and now it's costing us $1500+ at the very LEAST (we don't have room in our house for them so we'd have to put them up in a hotel as well). Am I in the wrong here?

absofuckinglutely not.

this sounds like the dh in the other thread...if he won't put his foot down and say NO then you do it.

Oh, I did. But I can say no all I want, and he'll still buy the tickets. They live in a small town with barely any air service and it's expensive. I cringe just thinking of the cost.

[Anonymous]

Nope, wouldn't do it. This is setting a dangerous precedent.

And who the f*** says no to free tickets because it's not an airline they fly? That's rude! Beggars can't be choosers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm finding out that baptisms are a very big thing in DH's family. They're big to me too, but not as the social event that my IL's see them as. DC is getting baptized this summer and MIL and FIL are insisting on coming, except they want us to pay their travel expenses! (They live halfway across the country). We're not poor, but we do have very expensive childcare, and this will deplete our vacation fund plus some, which means no vacation this year and possibly next year. They also want us to throw a big party for DC. DH has told me there's no other way and he won't put his foot down with mom and dad. I've offered to fly them here on award tickets, but they "don't fly that airline, dear." I just wanted a sacrament performed and now it's costing us $1500+ at the very LEAST (we don't have room in our house for them so we'd have to put them up in a hotel as well). Am I in the wrong here?

absofuckinglutely not.

this sounds like the dh in the other thread...if he won't put his foot down and say NO then you do it.

Oh, I did. But I can say no all I want, and he'll still buy the tickets. They live in a small town with barely any air service and it's expensive. I cringe just thinking of the cost.

Yeah, file this one under "marital problem, not family problem".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, wouldn't do it. This is setting a dangerous precedent.

And who the f*** says no to free tickets because it's not an airline they fly? That's rude! Beggars can't be choosers.

They are die hard SWA fans, as much as you can be die hard fans of an airline when you only fly every 5 years. I'd thought about springing for first class for them (finally a use for the 700,000 miles I've got stashed), but not after this!

[Anonymous]

Sign up for therapy now. The two of you need to figure out how you're going to handle these things going forward and it's something which could wreck a marriage.

[Anonymous]

I find this story unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, wouldn't do it. This is setting a dangerous precedent.

And who the f*** says no to free tickets because it's not an airline they fly? That's rude! Beggars can't be choosers.

That part is just insane.

Can you just do a lunch afterwards? That's what we did - wasn't crazy expensive because it was a mid afternoon thing. What kind of party are they expecting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this story unbelievable.

Then you don't have inlaws.