Someone lied about a position DS had - she got in, DS didn't. Appropriate to tell school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand you upset because your son got rejection. It is not your job to report to the school. It is the school's job to find out whether applicant is lied.

I'm sure this is not the first time that an applicant has lied. Hopefully she'll be found out but that's the school's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think this might be a troll thread, don't ask me why.

The more I consider this entire thread, the more I am certain that this is a troll thread. And here is why.

If this had actually happened, then the mother and her son -- while wanting to bring the issue to someone's attention -- would also want to do so without bringing unwanted attention to the son. In other words, they would seek to do so as discreetly as possible. So either the son would have spoken individually to a trusted teacher, advisor, or administrator, and then let them handle the situation with the young woman (without bringing him or his name into it as the source). Or, alternatively (though I do not approve of this approach), the son would have simply sent in an anonymous note to the colleges, and no one would be the wiser as to who was the source.

Instead -- and this is why I now believe that this is certainly a troll thread (and an excellent one, I might add, just look at the number of revenue-generating views and posts it had achieved for DCUM) -- the original poster/mother comes onto DCUM and informs an entire local community (where someone is bound to know someone who knows some other person who, in turn, knows someone else) that: (a) her son is the source of the leak; and then identifies her son (b) as the person whose title, position, and duties the young woman assumed for herself.

The original poster/mother later adds that multiple classmates are now approaching her son about lies of this young woman -- suggesting that he has been discussing the matter openly with at least some classmates (and everyone knows that nothing you tell someone else, much less multiple people in high school, will be kept a secret). Any young man who was smart enough to identify that, and how, a classmate's social media postings can hurt them; would also be smart enough to know that he should be discreet in "outing" that person. In this case, the original poster/mother and her supposed son have been anything but discreet, in fact they have left an entire social media trail as to their identities, motivations, and thought process.

Finally, throwing us indignant followers of this thread that tasty morsel of "Stanford" just pushed it over the edge into trolling territory for me. How much angrier and more indignant would the other posters be if the fictional young woman were to have used her dastardly lies to obtain admission to one of the country's finest, and most desired universities, then if she had exaggerated her resume for Cal State, Chico.

No offense meant to Cal State, Chico.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocker your son learned people lie/embellish by cyber-stalking another student.

Cyberstalking? Website are made to be read. Unless you are cyberstalking dcum right now

Naw. There's a distinction. Be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP again. Another update - the school is informed but my son has no idea if they will end up contacting the colleges.

Several more people have approached my son with proof other lies or stolen positions on her resume. He is going to update administration about these tomorrow. It's beginning to look doubtful that any of it is truthful.

All of the colleges involved are highly selective and one (Stanford) was recently in trouble for a cheating scandal. I really hope they do not ignore this information.

After reading this post I'm becoming concerned about this girl. It sounds like a lot of people really have it in for her.

Hope she gets out of DC, fast.

I agree.

The sad part is that there is an adult-a mother at that-supporting and almost spearheading the efforts.

As a parent, I would not have encouraged my son to waste his energy kn this way, especially during admissions/deadlines/offer comparison time. His time would be better spent planning for his own future instead of trying to hurt hers.

I wonder if OP and her son would have the same reaction if her son had been accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think this might be a troll thread, don't ask me why.

The more I consider this entire thread, the more I am certain that this is a troll thread. And here is why.

If this had actually happened, then the mother and her son -- while wanting to bring the issue to someone's attention -- would also want to do so without bringing unwanted attention to the son. In other words, they would seek to do so as discreetly as possible. So either the son would have spoken individually to a trusted teacher, advisor, or administrator, and then let them handle the situation with the young woman (without bringing him or his name into it as the source). Or, alternatively (though I do not approve of this approach), the son would have simply sent in an anonymous note to the colleges, and no one would be the wiser as to who was the source.

Instead -- and this is why I now believe that this is certainly a troll thread (and an excellent one, I might add, just look at the number of revenue-generating views and posts it had achieved for DCUM) -- the original poster/mother comes onto DCUM and informs an entire local community (where someone is bound to know someone who knows some other person who, in turn, knows someone else) that: (a) her son is the source of the leak; and then identifies her son (b) as the person whose title, position, and duties the young woman assumed for herself.

The original poster/mother later adds that multiple classmates are now approaching her son about lies of this young woman -- suggesting that he has been discussing the matter openly with at least some classmates (and everyone knows that nothing you tell someone else, much less multiple people in high school, will be kept a secret). Any young man who was smart enough to identify that, and how, a classmate's social media postings can hurt them; would also be smart enough to know that he should be discreet in "outing" that person. In this case, the original poster/mother and her supposed son have been anything but discreet, in fact they have left an entire social media trail as to their identities, motivations, and thought process.

Finally, throwing us indignant followers of this thread that tasty morsel of "Stanford" just pushed it over the edge into trolling territory for me. How much angrier and more indignant would the other posters be if the fictional young woman were to have used her dastardly lies to obtain admission to one of the country's finest, and most desired universities, then if she had exaggerated her resume for Cal State, Chico.

No offense meant to Cal State, Chico.

It is a troll post people!

[Anonymous]

And a sockpuppeted one too, I think.

[Anonymous]

If you think it's a troll post, just exit stage left and don't return. No need to be obnoxious and juvenile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Catholic, but I still believe in a rule of karma. If this girl is a liar, then her day will eventually come.

However, if your son upsets the balance in her life, then one day someone will equally upset his.

If you really feel that you must intervene, then here is a more mature (and less karma upsetting) solution.

Have your son approach his classmate and politely say, "I read your resume on the website, and you appear to have mistakenly and in error listed X position as one you hold when, in fact, you and I both know that I hold X position. I would appreciate it if you would change your mistake."

He might follow up, as guidance, "employers sometimes let people go who include such mistakes on their resumes." She will get the message loud and clear, but your son won't be responsible for having her admissions rescinded (which he might feel guilty about in the long run).

I suggested this approach.

Yes, I do think that a high school senior, going off to an elite (or really any) university next year, should be mature enough to approach another individual person-to-person to discuss an issue that they might have with them. Believe me, if he takes her aside and to task, she will be mortified by having her transgression caught, and she won't be telling anyone else in the class about it. (By the time he was in eighth grade, I had already told my son that if he had an issue with scheduling, grades, conflicts, commitments, then it was his responsibility to contact the other individual directly (or by email) to sort it out -- not mine.)

My problem with going to the college anonymously is two-fold. First, it teaches your son that handling problems through anonymous emails, or messages, is a good approach, which it generally is not. Second, it reflects badly on future applicants from your school. First, because the school's applicants seemingly exaggerate their credentials and qualifications. And second, because the school's students (and they will know this came from a classmate) are the type to undercut each other anonymously. The university will, like me, ask themselves why your school's students do not possess the maturity to handle this personally amongst themselves.

Finally, whenever I am thinking of doing something which causes me to question my own judgment, I turn to one if my sisters to ask WWYD? If you and your son really think that it is a good idea to anonymously contact a university to report another student's transgression, then why not have your son ask a trusted advisor or counselor at his school WWYD? If he cannot even bring himself to do so (discuss the plan with a counselor), then he probably should not bring himself to do so (anonymously report it to the college).

I have enjoyed the OP's post and the elicited responses. It one of those old-fashioned ethical and moral questions to ponder, and I have enjoyed thinking it through on this contemplative Palm Sunday.

I posted all of the above, and have one more thing to add. When discussing this with your son, ask him and yourself honestly, "what do we want to be the desired outcome for ourselves and for this girl here?"

Is your son's desired outcome simply an acknowledgement of the lie and rehabilitation for the girl? If so, your son should speak to "Jane" directly -- or request a meeting with the girl and a high school counselor -- in which he can point out her "mistake" (i.e., lie), discuss how the lie possibly hurt him (it may have cost him admission to the same elite college that admitted her), and request an immediate correction to her resume. Hopefully, being caught in a flagrant lie about her credentials will teach her never to do that again. I would also hope that she sincerely apologizes to your son.

Or is one of your son's goals also retribution against the girl? If he submits an anonymous letter to the college, that girl may have her admission rescinded. Is that a desired outcome for him?

Finally, I will offer this example. Last year my son was one of three seniors who has written for the school paper for all four years. The other two seniors were promoted to EIC, but my son was kept as a section editor. All three of them applied to the same elite college. My son and one EIC were admitted, but the other EIC was not. We are assuming that the girl used her classmate's title in her college admission (a valid assumption, she may very well have), but we are also assuming that the title was the thing that made the difference in his rejection and her admission (maybe not).

The girl doesn't care. My guess is if OP's son spoke to the girl, she would simply get mad at OP's son. She knows what she did, did it deliberately, and will be offensive. Ten to one she'll be all about the 'stalking' then (which it isn't btw) and the school could turn it on her kid. There are times when the adults need to stand with their kid, to ensure the tale doesn't get twisted. This is one of them. And OP, screenshot the lie if you haven't already!

Whether it cost her son admission is a red herring. Her lie cost SOMEONE admission, and that's flat-out wrong.

Then have your son bring one of his trusted school advisors or college counselors into the process. Request first a meeting with the school counselor in which your son explains the issue, shows the counselor the suspect resume, mentions how it has hurt the admissions process, discuss the options together. He can also request that the school not identify him as the source of the information. At this point the issue is in the school's hands. They will certainly, at a minimum, call the girl in to discuss the lie, explain the consequences to her, and demand that she correct the lie on her resume.

Perhaps it is best to let your school handle the problem. I guarantee you that knowing that the school knows about her lie, will rehabilitate this young woman straight.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP again. He has already screenshotted it.

He is going to talk to the teacher involved with the position who can back him up. They will probably end up going to her counselor and letting her know about the falsified resume. From there he will let the high school decide whether to contact the colleges she has been accepted to.

And again, he is not upset that he didn't get in. As I said before, he is committed to his first choice. Nor does he think that this made a difference with respect to the decisions.

What he IS upset about is that she is getting away with lying. He has a strong sense of justice and does not like the amount of rampant cheating that goes on in his high school, and that everyone gets away with it. He complains about it frequently.

Wow, really. I would have told my son he was looking at a PERSONAL webpage and she can say anything she wants there. The admissions process to University/College and school transcripts used during the acceptance process are different from someones PERSONAL webpage. Son, you need to let go of this, worry about yourself and what you do.

Do you really want people to perceive you as some stalker trolling websites "telling on" people when you feel their statements are inaccurate. Should she then choose to post how you and your Mommy tried to effect her college acceptance by filing a complaint about her PERSONAL website with the high school which, has no authority to restrain her freedom of speech online? That could make the global community perceive you in a negative light and it will be there forever. I'll tell you this right now son, your mother doesn't care, be a man, you going to college next year.

My dear son the internet is full of lies I'm a little worried about you if you think everything on it is the truth, it is an open forum. As far the cheating you perceive at school just remember they are only cheating themselves out of knowledge. Knowledge will be your success. Worry about yourself.

Anyway, your parenting is really different than mine. Good Luck.

signed, the girl's mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP again. Another update - the school is informed but my son has no idea if they will end up contacting the colleges.

Several more people have approached my son with proof other lies or stolen positions on her resume. He is going to update administration about these tomorrow. It's beginning to look doubtful that any of it is truthful.

All of the colleges involved are highly selective and one (Stanford) was recently in trouble for a cheating scandal. I really hope they do not ignore this information.

Admission director here: Yes this has happened before and applicants have had acceptance withdrawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think this might be a troll thread, don't ask me why.

The more I consider this entire thread, the more I am certain that this is a troll thread. And here is why.

If this had actually happened, then the mother and her son -- while wanting to bring the issue to someone's attention -- would also want to do so without bringing unwanted attention to the son. In other words, they would seek to do so as discreetly as possible. So either the son would have spoken individually to a trusted teacher, advisor, or administrator, and then let them handle the situation with the young woman (without bringing him or his name into it as the source). Or, alternatively (though I do not approve of this approach), the son would have simply sent in an anonymous note to the colleges, and no one would be the wiser as to who was the source.

Instead -- and this is why I now believe that this is certainly a troll thread (and an excellent one, I might add, just look at the number of revenue-generating views and posts it had achieved for DCUM) -- the original poster/mother comes onto DCUM and informs an entire local community (where someone is bound to know someone who knows some other person who, in turn, knows someone else) that: (a) her son is the source of the leak; and then identifies her son (b) as the person whose title, position, and duties the young woman assumed for herself.

The original poster/mother later adds that multiple classmates are now approaching her son about lies of this young woman -- suggesting that he has been discussing the matter openly with at least some classmates (and everyone knows that nothing you tell someone else, much less multiple people in high school, will be kept a secret). Any young man who was smart enough to identify that, and how, a classmate's social media postings can hurt them; would also be smart enough to know that he should be discreet in "outing" that person. In this case, the original poster/mother and her supposed son have been anything but discreet, in fact they have left an entire social media trail as to their identities, motivations, and thought process.

Finally, throwing us indignant followers of this thread that tasty morsel of "Stanford" just pushed it over the edge into trolling territory for me. How much angrier and more indignant would the other posters be if the fictional young woman were to have used her dastardly lies to obtain admission to one of the country's finest, and most desired universities, then if she had exaggerated her resume for Cal State, Chico.

No offense meant to Cal State, Chico.

Mom, it is too late now to save your DD's application. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

OP, any other updates?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, any other updates?

It is a troll post, well crafted to elicit many subsequent views and posts.

Please read the explanation above, but generally no one who understands the potential perils of leaving one's trail on social media, would purposely post so many details to out themselves on a public forum as the person who worked behind the scenes to have their classmate's college admissions rescinded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually think this might be a troll thread, don't ask me why.

The more I consider this entire thread, the more I am certain that this is a troll thread. And here is why.

If this had actually happened, then the mother and her son -- while wanting to bring the issue to someone's attention -- would also want to do so without bringing unwanted attention to the son. In other words, they would seek to do so as discreetly as possible. So either the son would have spoken individually to a trusted teacher, advisor, or administrator, and then let them handle the situation with the young woman (without bringing him or his name into it as the source). Or, alternatively (though I do not approve of this approach), the son would have simply sent in an anonymous note to the colleges, and no one would be the wiser as to who was the source.

Instead -- and this is why I now believe that this is certainly a troll thread (and an excellent one, I might add, just look at the number of revenue-generating views and posts it had achieved for DCUM) -- the original poster/mother comes onto DCUM and informs an entire local community (where someone is bound to know someone who knows some other person who, in turn, knows someone else) that: (a) her son is the source of the leak; and then identifies her son (b) as the person whose title, position, and duties the young woman assumed for herself.

The original poster/mother later adds that multiple classmates are now approaching her son about lies of this young woman -- suggesting that he has been discussing the matter openly with at least some classmates (and everyone knows that nothing you tell someone else, much less multiple people in high school, will be kept a secret). Any young man who was smart enough to identify that, and how, a classmate's social media postings can hurt them; would also be smart enough to know that he should be discreet in "outing" that person. In this case, the original poster/mother and her supposed son have been anything but discreet, in fact they have left an entire social media trail as to their identities, motivations, and thought process.

Finally, throwing us indignant followers of this thread that tasty morsel of "Stanford" just pushed it over the edge into trolling territory for me. How much angrier and more indignant would the other posters be if the fictional young woman were to have used her dastardly lies to obtain admission to one of the country's finest, and most desired universities, then if she had exaggerated her resume for Cal State, Chico.

Here is the entire troll explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, any other updates?

It is a troll post, well crafted to elicit many subsequent views and posts.

Please read the explanation above, but generally no one who understands the potential perils of leaving one's trail on social media, would purposely post so many details to out themselves on a public forum as the person who worked behind the scenes to have their classmate's college admissions rescinded.

If you think it's a troll post, piss off!

Just as you came to the conclusion for yourself, others can do the same.

Those who do not believe or care that it's not a troll should be allowed to discuss without you trying to derail things.

You need to grow up.

And stop thinking you're an authority in how a person would or would not behave on an anonymous forum.

We've read your theory on why OP is a troll and clearly no one cares!