Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

[Anonymous]

Blessings to my wife. She has openly wanted to me to earn more money throughout our 15 years of marriage. I have an engineering degree (B.S.) from a great school and am, by nature, a good worker bee.

Unfortunately, I'm lousy at understanding and working the dynamics of making good money. I've been too loyal to the wrong employers and have many missed chances at getting onto the six-figure career track.

Her resentments are definitely one of the sore points in our marriage. She likes me otherwise, but I do not have the paycheck she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blessings to my wife. She has openly wanted to me to earn more money throughout our 15 years of marriage. I have an engineering degree (B.S.) from a great school and am, by nature, a good worker bee.

Unfortunately, I'm lousy at understanding and working the dynamics of making good money. I've been too loyal to the wrong employers and have many missed chances at getting onto the six-figure career track.

Her resentments are definitely one of the sore points in our marriage. She likes me otherwise, but I do not have the paycheck she wanted.

Another engineer. Yeah unless u go dot.com, quant, or sales engineers never make good money. But to a fault we were smart, worked hard, and were ambitious in what we did. Sadly we just didn't know how to make money. Most engineers I know came from lower middle class backgrounds; engineering was stable and interesting work w/o much debt for degree. We had no backup plan or help from parents and if anything still send money home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

No, but I did require that the man I marry have ambition and goals. Being able to meet goals is attractive.

I expect my DH to keep pace with me when it comes to earnings. I don't ever want to rely on a man, but I also don't want to be the man.

Did your DH require that the woman he marry have ambition and goals?

I have no idea. I've never asked him. However I'm driven and bring home a W2 on par with his. I do know if I wanted to quit and SAH today he would support that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

No, but I did require that the man I marry have ambition and goals. Being able to meet goals is attractive.

I expect my DH to keep pace with me when it comes to earnings. I don't ever want to rely on a man, but I also don't want to be the man.

What if he doesn't?

I don't know. It has never happened and he's too focused to let it slide, it's not in his personality. He's always improving and changing. That is what first attracted men to him. at at 37 he took a complete career change and has mastered his new path. I love the risk taker and confidence in him.

[Anonymous]

DH here, my DW and I both make great money but I make more. Wouldn't have it any other way and she feels the same. It's not like I'm going to get kicked out if I have a bad year (I'm a sales manager) but I think it's a turn on for most women to know their DH is a hunter and goes out into the world each day with the goal of bringing home big bags of cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here, my DW and I both make great money but I make more. Wouldn't have it any other way and she feels the same. It's not like I'm going to get kicked out if I have a bad year (I'm a sales manager) but I think it's a turn on for most women to know their DH is a hunter and goes out into the world each day with the goal of bringing home big bags of cash.

Heck yeah. I married my husband for his cock and his paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Ummm, duh!

[Anonymous]

I originally thought OP was a troll but now seeing all these responses I fear men and women will never be equals. I am sad for my DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here, my DW and I both make great money but I make more. Wouldn't have it any other way and she feels the same. It's not like I'm going to get kicked out if I have a bad year (I'm a sales manager) but I think it's a turn on for most women to know their DH is a hunter and goes out into the world each day with the goal of bringing home big bags of cash.

Me leave cave in morning. Go out and hunt. Come back to cave with goods. Use cock on wife. Life good.

[Anonymous]

I make much more than my DH, and I also have all the family money (trust fund). The inequality of power that flows from that is distinctly non-sexy. Don't get me wrong -- he's great in many areas of life, I enjoy my work and am thankful we have the family money to fall back on. Still, is it too much to expect a guy with two advanced degrees to make more than 45k/yr? Yeah, I know it was my choice and it shouldn't matter. But it does. Guess I'm not as egalitarian as I'd like to think.

[Anonymous]

In 2014 I made 212k. My DH made 185k. He was upset I was out earning him And in November started a job search. He had a new one Jan 1st with a 225k salary. I lover the fact that he competes with me. This is an insecurity that is great for the bottom line.

[Anonymous]

Just curious. For those wishing their DHs made more money... What's his current income and what did you wish he earned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2014 I made 212k. My DH made 185k. He was upset I was out earning him And in November started a job search. He had a new one Jan 1st with a 225k salary. I lover the fact that he competes with me. This is an insecurity that is great for the bottom line.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Do I wish my DH made more money? Sure. I also wish I made more money too (he outearns me by $25k). BUT, with a higher salary undoubtedly comes longer work hours and that's not what we want for our family. Right now I have a flexible job that allows me to telework quite often and be home before the kids get out of school. DH leaves work early and is able to get home at 5pm, but then logs on for 3 hours after they go to bed each night.

I'd much rather DH take a lower paying job and be happy rather than be rich and miserable. My job doesn't excite me at all, but it's a decent paying job and really flexible, which is what our family needs at the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a decent amount of money and support our family, and DH makes very little. I get resentful because I always thought that either he would make enough so that I could go PT, or we would have enough money to really live well. Instead, I work FT, but his hours are worse than mine, so I also do the majority of the child-related things, and we don't get to go on vacation often because I need to work so much. Its very stressful being basically the sold source of income, not something I ever thought I would do.

OP here. That's my worst fear; being depended on for our whole family's lifestyle. I strongly expect my man to provide for me and take care of me financially, so it's a little strange getting used to the idea that I'll have to be the primary breadwinner.

This is fucking pathetic. Have you no shame?

BTW, to the PP who said OP must have been born in the 70sf. I was born in the 70s and have been the primary breadwinner my entire life. That was stupid generalization.