Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2014 I made 212k. My DH made 185k. He was upset I was out earning him And in November started a job search. He had a new one Jan 1st with a 225k salary. I lover the fact that he competes with me. This is an insecurity that is great for the bottom line.

What fields to you work in to earn that much and get better jobs? I am such a loser.

[Anonymous]

Everyday. DH is content to be a SAHD even though our kids are in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyday. DH is content to be a SAHD even though our kids are in middle school.

and how long until the affair begins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2014 I made 212k. My DH made 185k. He was upset I was out earning him And in November started a job search. He had a new one Jan 1st with a 225k salary. I lover the fact that he competes with me. This is an insecurity that is great for the bottom line.

What fields to you work in to earn that much and get better jobs? I am such a loser.

We are both in IT. I'm inside sales he's sales engineer. However he is capped out, unless he goes into outside sales. I could easily double my income if I went outside, but why? I WFH and have no travel. No commute and I don't have to buy nice clothes. I expense my phone and Internet and have no expense or hassle involved in working. Plus I don't have to pay for after school care, just get kids off the bus at 3.

Funny how everyone on here thinks that people who Make a high income must be miserable. You know who is miserable? The guy in accounting with a CPA who makes 75% of what I make that has to drag himself into the office each day and night with a grueling commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do I wish my DH made more money? Sure. I also wish I made more money too (he outearns me by $25k). BUT, with a higher salary undoubtedly comes longer work hours and that's not what we want for our family. Right now I have a flexible job that allows me to telework quite often and be home before the kids get out of school. DH leaves work early and is able to get home at 5pm, but then logs on for 3 hours after they go to bed each night.

I'd much rather DH take a lower paying job and be happy rather than be rich and miserable. My job doesn't excite me at all, but it's a decent paying job and really flexible, which is what our family needs at the moment.

Finally, a woman with a brain who isn't a superficial twit responds!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. This is sad. You should be able to stay home with your kids if you want to.

Oh, she can stay home with the kids if she wants to. The problem is that it would require moving to a lower cost place, giving up private schools and other nice things. But, yes, she could stay at home if that was her only priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. This is sad. You should be able to stay home with your kids if you want to.

I want a pony.

Should I be able to have that, if I want one?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

Why did you assume you wouldn't have to do so? I'm guessing you were born in the 1970s. I was born in the 1960s and always assumed I couldn't rely on a man for money. DH and I make about the same amount.

16:35 here. Also born in the 60s. Maybe it really is a generation thing.

NP, born in 1966. Never thought for a minute that it was anyone else's job to support me.

Same here. 1967.

Same here. 1961.

On the contrary, I always understood that I needed to be able to support myself and any children I might have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious. For those wishing their DHs made more money... What's his current income and what did you wish he earned?

65I and we are in our midtwenties

[Anonymous]

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As women who want to bear children we have a lot of responsibilities and are under a lot of physical, emotional and intellectual stress during these years. The least we can do to try to help our situation some, is by ending up with a spouse that can provide a solid financial foundation to soften the blows of the child rearing years. It is VERY HARD to be a mother AND be a breadwinner. Now, if a woman ONLY wants to devote her time to climbing the career ladder, then this argument is irrelevant.

It is equally hard to be a father and the breadwinner. Yet that is pretty much expected, especially on DCUM.
Exactly why is it so much harder as a mother than a father?

Um, because you probably aren't the default parent, nothing hatched out of your vagina, you didn't lactate, you're allowed to go gray, and you aren't expected to wax your hooha before beach vacations . . . Just for starters

Ok...but have you ever had the financial weight of the family on your back? Have you ever had the family's lifestyle and your family's ability to be financially stable on your back? Being a mother is a tough job, but do not diminish the role of the primary breadwinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

I wish I had a husband. The companionship, shared investment in building a happy family, and some financial contribution would be greatly welcomed! Oh, and sex. I would like the sex too please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
As women who want to bear children we have a lot of responsibilities and are under a lot of physical, emotional and intellectual stress during these years. The least we can do to try to help our situation some, is by ending up with a spouse that can provide a solid financial foundation to soften the blows of the child rearing years. It is VERY HARD to be a mother AND be a breadwinner. Now, if a woman ONLY wants to devote her time to climbing the career ladder, then this argument is irrelevant.

It is equally hard to be a father and the breadwinner. Yet that is pretty much expected, especially on DCUM.
Exactly why is it so much harder as a mother than a father?

Um, because you probably aren't the default parent, nothing hatched out of your vagina, you didn't lactate, you're allowed to go gray, and you aren't expected to wax your hooha before beach vacations . . . Just for starters

Ok...but have you ever had the financial weight of the family on your back? Have you ever had the family's lifestyle and your family's ability to be financially stable on your back? Being a mother is a tough job, but do not diminish the role of the primary breadwinner.

Have you ever had your vagina rip during childbirth?

[Anonymous]

Would someone please wake me up when 1954 is over? Women have been getting degrees in greater numbers than men for a while. They have been moving through the ranks and breaking barriers. Why is the woman earning more so important? For those wanting the alpha breadwinner, should you be obligated, to clean the house and always have his dinner ready?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2014 I made 212k. My DH made 185k. He was upset I was out earning him And in November started a job search. He had a new one Jan 1st with a 225k salary. I lover the fact that he competes with me. This is an insecurity that is great for the bottom line.

What fields to you work in to earn that much and get better jobs? I am such a loser.

We are both in IT. I'm inside sales he's sales engineer. However he is capped out, unless he goes into outside sales. I could easily double my income if I went outside, but why? I WFH and have no travel. No commute and I don't have to buy nice clothes. I expense my phone and Internet and have no expense or hassle involved in working. Plus I don't have to pay for after school care, just get kids off the bus at 3.

Funny how everyone on here thinks that people who Make a high income must be miserable. You know who is miserable? The guy in accounting with a CPA who makes 75% of what I make that has to drag himself into the office each day and night with a grueling commute.[/quote]

OMG I am that guy, but in marketing, not accounting. SUCKS. I did not play my cards right.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'm willing to admit that when I was dating I took the earning potential of a future spouse into consideration. I'm sure I might get flamed for that statement, but I don't think that makes me a gold digger, it makes me smart. My husband doesn't make tons of money but he makes enough that we can live in a nice house in suburbia and I can SAH with our adorable baby. In addition to all of this, I am deeply in love with him, we have a great relationship/sex life, he is kind and we hold the same values and hopes for our future. I worked my ass off in my former career but I knew (and he knew) going in that being "at the top" in my career of choice was never going to equal a huge salary. We live modestly comparatively to many in the DC area but we enjoy a lot of luxuries and I'm incredibly grateful for that and for him. Had I dated and fallen in love with someone who couldn't provide this sort of lifestyle would I have regretted my decision? Probably.