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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what you have with your ex is an emotional affair. No one's really going to consider it one (or care) while he has a girlfriend, but if he were an honest guy, he would have toned his "friendship" with you way down once he got engaged. Calling first thing in the morning, being the person he goes to when he's had a big day - that's taking away from his actual relationship with his fiance. He can't start a marriage like that - or at least, he shouldn't be trying. She's the one who's supposed to share the journey of life with him. The fact that he's coming to you instead, but simultaneously maintaining and advancing in his relationship with her just means that he wants to have his cake & eat it too. He's not an honest guy. You need a break. Back off for a bit, gain some perspective. Once you've re-established your other support systems in life, you'll realize that you didn't need him and that he was holding you back from finding the right guy, because he was half-occupying that role for you. Free up the space.

I say all of this as some one whose "best friend" got engaged and didn't tell me. When I found out, our friendship changed and I mourned what we had, but finally was able to meet the right guy when I let go of the one who was never really mine anyway. [/quote]

OP Here: Thank you PP. I really do appreciate your advice. The PP's who have actually given helpful advice, have really helped me see some things that I didn't even see before. I do have A LOT to think about. I would love for him and I to remain friends but I am starting to see why this is probably not the healthiest option for me so again, thank you. [/quote]

I get where you're coming from and it's really confusing to be in this odd state, where your emotions are all intertwined because you rely on this person like you would with a SO, but there's nothing physical, even if there are flirtatious moments. It's a confusing situation to be in. You're not in a real relationship, yet you're not fully available like a normal single person - and the guy wants to keep it confusing. That's why he's not telling you the truth. Whether he's engaged or not, you know he's not yours. Yet you're giving him so much of yourself and we only have so much emotional bandwidth to offer, so there's not much left to give another guy who's actually available. So your Ex, like my former best friend did, has the benefit of keeping you on hold when you aren't available enough to have a real relationship of our own. It's BS. You deserve better. Best of luck to you and I hope you find the right guy soon! [/quote]

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