How often do you and partner have sex??

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09/12/2014 10:49

Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??

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Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.

You are posting excessively. I think you have some serious insecurities that somehow have been brought to surface with this thread. Who exactly is this poster racing with?

I could see my DW posting stuff like this. She feels bad because she knows we're having quite a bit less sex than I'd like. It's really the only thing I've brought up as a source of dissatisfaction in the marriage. I've asked, and she says it has nothing to do with me - says she finds me attractive, that I pull my weight around the house, she doesn't feel resentful, etc. I was patient, waited through pregnancy and toddlerhood until the kids were school age for her to get her drive back. When I finally mentioned something, we were having sex a little less than once a month. She says once a week would be good. That's what she aspires to. Despite my initiations, we barely hit twice a month. I think she's convinced herself that we're pretty close to once a week. When she thinks about sexual frequency it makes her feel like a bad wife because the rest of our marriage is so good. So, she'd prefer not to think about it, and when confronted with the topic, she might be inclined to be dismissive of those for whom sex is a bigger priority.

Obviously projecting my impressions of my wife's insecurities onto the PP isn't very reliable, but that might be the sort of dynamic that's going on.

I agree with you. Its just ridiculous to try to put down others who have sex more frequently. Pp is clearly insecure

There it is again. Why would I be insecure? Why the value judgment about frequency of sex?

Because you are obsessing.

This is not all about YOU. Women are chiming in answering questions. Nobody is judging you. You are clearly projecting your own issues and have twisted the conversation that has struck a chord in you. Some people have higher drives than others and that is OK. It is actually refreshing to see women who post that they enjoy frequent sex. Nobody is pressuring anyone to have more sex, that assumption is preposterous and frankly a bit paranoid. You are struggling and it is obvious to everyone. If you are so comfortable with your sex drive and your sexual relationship with your partner, then why are you so rattled by what other people are doing. You cannot police people's bedrooms to make you feel better. Just be happy with yourself.

Sounds like you are the one threatened here. What is so disturbing about the fact that the great majority of marries couples have sex about once a week?

Either you are paranoid or you are poor critical reading skills. Where did I say that I presume to know what goes on in "the vast majority" of the millions of married Americans bedrooms? I know what goes on in my bedroom and I know it upsets you and that you are oddly fixated on it.