How often do you and partner have sex??

[Anonymous]

Because you are convinced every poster who has sex multiple times a week is out to make you feel bad or inferior. Sure, there may have been a couple people like that. For the most part though, everyone just gave honest answers. Your need to be so defensive and on attack mode kind of make sense with what pp laid out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pps, you both (or one of you) are acting like those who have an active sex life are either lying or attempting to put you down. They are just answering the questions honestly. I don't see why you feel the need to attack them.

No, I think everyone's natural sex drives are usually completely healthy. What I dislike is people ssuggesting they are superior for having more sex, and pressuring women who have perfectly average, healthy sex lives too.

I think you are seeing things that don't exist. No one was putting anyone down or acting superior. Just because someone says they have sex all the tine doesn't mean they are acting superior, it means they are answering the question asked.

Go back and read the thread. The people with more frequent sex characterized others as boring, not enjoying sex, etc. Plhs there absolutely is ambient cultural pressure for women to have more sex. This is something every couple has to work out, but not by framing perfectly normal, healthy sex lives as worse or aberrant.

I did. There were a couple of posters who did what you said. Mostly not though. And then some became defensive after you called them trolls and liars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.

You are posting excessively. I think you have some serious insecurities that somehow have been brought to surface with this thread. Who exactly is this poster racing with?

I could see my DW posting stuff like this. She feels bad because she knows we're having quite a bit less sex than I'd like. It's really the only thing I've brought up as a source of dissatisfaction in the marriage. I've asked, and she says it has nothing to do with me - says she finds me attractive, that I pull my weight around the house, she doesn't feel resentful, etc. I was patient, waited through pregnancy and toddlerhood until the kids were school age for her to get her drive back. When I finally mentioned something, we were having sex a little less than once a month. She says once a week would be good. That's what she aspires to. Despite my initiations, we barely hit twice a month. I think she's convinced herself that we're pretty close to once a week. When she thinks about sexual frequency it makes her feel like a bad wife because the rest of our marriage is so good. So, she'd prefer not to think about it, and when confronted with the topic, she might be inclined to be dismissive of those for whom sex is a bigger priority.

Obviously projecting my impressions of my wife's insecurities onto the PP isn't very reliable, but that might be the sort of dynamic that's going on.

I agree with you. Its just ridiculous to try to put down others who have sex more frequently. Pp is clearly insecure

There it is again. Why would I be insecure? Why the value judgment about frequency of sex?

Because you are obsessing.

This is not all about YOU. Women are chiming in answering questions. Nobody is judging you. You are clearly projecting your own issues and have twisted the conversation that has struck a chord in you. Some people have higher drives than others and that is OK. It is actually refreshing to see women who post that they enjoy frequent sex. Nobody is pressuring anyone to have more sex, that assumption is preposterous and frankly a bit paranoid. You are struggling and it is obvious to everyone. If you are so comfortable with your sex drive and your sexual relationship with your partner, then why are you so rattled by what other people are doing. You cannot police people's bedrooms to make you feel better. Just be happy with yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. You folks are having way more sex than I am and the women in my circle of friends.

I know. Super sexually active women posters, another question. During times on your life when you were single (if you ever were), did you masturbate as often as you now have sex with your partner? If youR libido is that high and you want it as often as he does, you would think you wanted it just as much when you were alone.

I still had a fairly high drive, but it's higher when I'm partnered. If I daydream about my guy, I'm ready to go. He brings a level of excitement that solo sex does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to most women who aren't protected by anonymity (think-friends at work, siblings, runner girlfriends) and we all just hope to be left alone by our husbands. Mine has never been interested in my pleasure . Grew up puritanical catholic. I should have known better but he is a good provider. However, sex I only want with my lover.

Eek, sounds very unhealthy. You and your friends don't like having sex with your DH, but instead cheat on him and get it elsewhere. I suppose when you lie with dogs you do indeed get fleas.

No thanks, I'll stick to my 4xs a weeks with the man I made a commitment to. Were you a virgin when you married? Did you not realize that he was a bad lover then? Now he's just a meal ticket? Gross.

[Anonymous]

Yep, gross meal ticket .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed, it seems that most folks are enjoying an active sex life despite having young kids.

The alternative is we don't and our husbands either have affairs or divorce us or learn to resent us and ditch us even our youngest child is 18.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. You folks are having way more sex than I am and the women in my circle of friends.

I know. Super sexually active women posters, another question. During times on your life when you were single (if you ever were), did you masturbate as often as you now have sex with your partner? If youR libido is that high and you want it as often as he does, you would think you wanted it just as much when you were alone.

I have sex once or twice a week with DH. Solo sex, about three times a week. When I was single, yes, it was solo sex almost every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed, it seems that most folks are enjoying an active sex life despite having young kids.

The alternative is we don't and our husbands either have affairs or divorce us or learn to resent us and ditch us even our youngest child is 18.

+1

+2. My husband has made it clear from day 1 that he needs and wants sex with me often. Use it or lose it. The more you connect, the more you do it, the more you do it, the more you connect. It's a cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.

You are posting excessively. I think you have some serious insecurities that somehow have been brought to surface with this thread. Who exactly is this poster racing with?

I could see my DW posting stuff like this. She feels bad because she knows we're having quite a bit less sex than I'd like. It's really the only thing I've brought up as a source of dissatisfaction in the marriage. I've asked, and she says it has nothing to do with me - says she finds me attractive, that I pull my weight around the house, she doesn't feel resentful, etc. I was patient, waited through pregnancy and toddlerhood until the kids were school age for her to get her drive back. When I finally mentioned something, we were having sex a little less than once a month. She says once a week would be good. That's what she aspires to. Despite my initiations, we barely hit twice a month. I think she's convinced herself that we're pretty close to once a week. When she thinks about sexual frequency it makes her feel like a bad wife because the rest of our marriage is so good. So, she'd prefer not to think about it, and when confronted with the topic, she might be inclined to be dismissive of those for whom sex is a bigger priority.

Obviously projecting my impressions of my wife's insecurities onto the PP isn't very reliable, but that might be the sort of dynamic that's going on.

I agree with you. Its just ridiculous to try to put down others who have sex more frequently. Pp is clearly insecure

There it is again. Why would I be insecure? Why the value judgment about frequency of sex?

Because you are obsessing.

This is not all about YOU. Women are chiming in answering questions. Nobody is judging you. You are clearly projecting your own issues and have twisted the conversation that has struck a chord in you. Some people have higher drives than others and that is OK. It is actually refreshing to see women who post that they enjoy frequent sex. Nobody is pressuring anyone to have more sex, that assumption is preposterous and frankly a bit paranoid. You are struggling and it is obvious to everyone. If you are so comfortable with your sex drive and your sexual relationship with your partner, then why are you so rattled by what other people are doing. You cannot police people's bedrooms to make you feel better. Just be happy with yourself.

Sounds like you are the one threatened here. What is so disturbing about the fact that the great majority of marries couples have sex about once a week?

[Anonymous]

I love how the DCUM is populated by sex maniacs, but the national average of actual scientific studies shows something totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I love how the DCUM is populated by sex maniacs, but the national average of actual scientific studies shows something totally different.

I think DCUM has a higher than average rate of sex positive women. Do you think that has anything to do with the education level or age of your average DCUM poster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I love how the DCUM is populated by sex maniacs, but the national average of actual scientific studies shows something totally different.

3-4 times a week is a sex maniac?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I love how the DCUM is populated by sex maniacs, but the national average of actual scientific studies shows something totally different.

3-4 times a week is a sex maniac?

Yep. According to Kinsey, only 5 percent of married women age 30 to 39 have sex 4 or more times a week.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I love how the DCUM is populated by sex maniacs, but the national average of actual scientific studies shows something totally different.

3-4 times a week is a sex maniac?

Yep. According to Kinsey, only 5 percent of married women age 30 to 39 have sex 4 or more times a week.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html

You must not know much about Kinsey's research and the controversy surrounding it. Do scientists normally have sex with their subjects? He was a zoologist-he is a world expert in gall wasps. This study is from 1948. Women's attitudes towards sex and sexual enjoyment have dramatically changed since 1948.