Husband Turned Catholic on Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd meet with a divorce lawyer, to be honest. There's no space for oppressive religions in our marriage.

+1

You people are pathetic. Really and truly sad and pathetic. Your absolutist thinking is as oppressive as any religion.

You are right. They are pathetic. A more accurate description would be to call these people bigots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh yawn, it is time for the weekly Catholic bashing post. Maybe it will slow down now that Downton Abbey is on.

After all these years, we can finally understand why God made Downton Abbey.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a game changer. My DH and I grew up Catholic. I no longer consider myself Catholic. My DH and went into the marriage with our eyes open. We talked extensively about it and it was a deliberate decision not to marry in the Catholic Church. If he decided to return to the Catholic Church, we'd have to do some seriously counseling. It's not 'church' I have an issue with, it's the Catholic Church. I'd need to undestand why he needed Catholicism and how both of our needs could be met.

I would not allow him to take our children. I understand other people are okay with it but I would never allow my kids to be in an environment where discrimination against women and girls is supported. The church allows the prohibition of altar girls and that alone would be enough for me. My DDs are just as worthy as my DSs.

[Anonymous]

I think OP needs to try not to feel so threatened by her husband's growth and discovery. When you wed you didn't stop being individuals who will change and grow over the decades. OP needs to come to terms with this recent change, find it within herself to be supportive if she can and stop viewing the church as "the other woman" which she obviously is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a game changer. My DH and I grew up Catholic. I no longer consider myself Catholic. My DH and went into the marriage with our eyes open. We talked extensively about it and it was a deliberate decision not to marry in the Catholic Church. If he decided to return to the Catholic Church, we'd have to do some seriously counseling. It's not 'church' I have an issue with, it's the Catholic Church. I'd need to undestand why he needed Catholicism and how both of our needs could be met.

I would not allow him to take our children. I understand other people are okay with it but I would never allow my kids to be in an environment where discrimination against women and girls is supported. The church allows the prohibition of altar girls and that alone would be enough for me. My DDs are just as worthy as my DSs.

[phone]

My DH and I were both raises Catholic and turned away from the Church for these and other reasons. I miss the rituals more than he does, but I'd never go back, and I would have a really hard time staying married to someone who did, since it would reflect a fundamental shift in his values. I never want my son to worship in a Church that raises men above women (except for a mythical pure virgin venerated above all except God).

I couldn't "support" that and understand completely why this is way more than a question of a couple hours a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a game changer. My DH and I grew up Catholic. I no longer consider myself Catholic. My DH and went into the marriage with our eyes open. We talked extensively about it and it was a deliberate decision not to marry in the Catholic Church. If he decided to return to the Catholic Church, we'd have to do some seriously counseling. It's not 'church' I have an issue with, it's the Catholic Church. I'd need to undestand why he needed Catholicism and how both of our needs could be met.

I would not allow him to take our children. I understand other people are okay with it but I would never allow my kids to be in an environment where discrimination against women and girls is supported. The church allows the prohibition of altar girls and that alone would be enough for me. My DDs are just as worthy as my DSs.

Hmmm, I just looked at the altar server schedule at my church and there are plenty of female names on it. Also, I do not get the idea that we have to teach our children that men and women are exactly the same and are suited to do the same things when this is fundamentally not true. Just look at what the Marine Corps is being forced to go through with regards to the pressure from so-called feminists to allow women to serve in combat. The women, by and large, cannot meet the physical standards for infantry duty. Is it discrimination, therefore, to keep the women out of a role for which they are not physically suited? I am not saying women are not suited for the clergy, but I think it is fallacious to think that whatever men can do women can do and vice versa. There are obvious differences between the sexes and it is fallacious to ignore those differences when it comes to job requirements, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a game changer. My DH and I grew up Catholic. I no longer consider myself Catholic. My DH and went into the marriage with our eyes open. We talked extensively about it and it was a deliberate decision not to marry in the Catholic Church. If he decided to return to the Catholic Church, we'd have to do some seriously counseling. It's not 'church' I have an issue with, it's the Catholic Church. I'd need to undestand why he needed Catholicism and how both of our needs could be met.

I would not allow him to take our children. I understand other people are okay with it but I would never allow my kids to be in an environment where discrimination against women and girls is supported. The church allows the prohibition of altar girls and that alone would be enough for me. My DDs are just as worthy as my DSs.

[phone]

My DH and I were both raises Catholic and turned away from the Church for these and other reasons. I miss the rituals more than he does, but I'd never go back, and I would have a really hard time staying married to someone who did, since it would reflect a fundamental shift in his values. I never want my son to worship in a Church that raises men above women (except for a mythical pure virgin venerated above all except God).

I couldn't "support" that and understand completely why this is way more than a question of a couple hours a week.

Agree with both of you.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, because holding up a candle and a bible is like being in the Marines (there is also a question of standards being used in the Marines issue). Hahaha. You're really sexist. At least admit it.

[Anonymous]

This is kind of ridiculous and the questions about whether the RCC is repressive or not are missing the mark. Rather than strippers and coke, the better comparison would be:

What if her husband suddenly took up golf and was gone every week all through the middle of the day on Sunday? He's checking out on her and on the family during what has up until now been family time. Just guessing that weekend days are the main time they have to spend together as a family.

People who are making excuses because it's "religion" and therefore gets a pass need to think twice. You can have your faith in your belief and draw your spiritual sustenance from that - others might draw their spiritual sustenance from walking 18 holes in the great outdoors and achieving meditative Zen on the course.

This isn't about religion - this is about time the husband is spending on himself and taking away from the family. Personally, I think that's OK - it's good for everyone: kids, parents, etc. - have individual interests outside the home. The OP ought to both get off the anti-religion and also think about letting the husband do some of this - and maybe also taking up her own independent activities (while hubby stays home and runs the house).

[Anonymous]

OP, if you were soooo against Catholcism, you never should have married a lapsed Catholic. Go ahead and divorce so your husband can find someone who isn't a bigoted pos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, because holding up a candle and a bible is like being in the Marines (there is also a question of standards being used in the Marines issue). Hahaha. You're really sexist. At least admit it.

Can a 1130 lb woman carry who 210 lb wounded comrade off the battlefield? If she can't, she doesn't belong there where she is is more harm than help. Here's another where they don't belong if they can't pack the baggage:

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/christinerousselle/2013/11/11/fdny-refuses-to-fire-female-firefighter-who-failed-fitness-test-n1744523

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, because holding up a candle and a bible is like being in the Marines (there is also a question of standards being used in the Marines issue). Hahaha. You're really sexist. At least admit it.

Can a 1130 lb woman carry who 210 lb wounded comrade off the battlefield? If she can't, she doesn't belong there where she is is more harm than help. Here's another where they don't belong if they can't pack the baggage:

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/christinerousselle/2013/11/11/fdny-refuses-to-fire-female-firefighter-who-failed-fitness-test-n1744523

Oh, for Pete's sake.

1) Physical standards need to be examined to determine whether they are actually relevant to the positions for which they are applied.

2) If they are in fact necessary, all candidates, male or female, should be given the opportunity to meet those standards.

3) I see no reason why these physical standards are relevant to a discussion about altar boys/girls, unless bibles have gotten heavier.

4) If there are other "inherent differences" that PP feels are, in fact, relevant to a discussion about altar boys/girls, I'd love to hear what those are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, because holding up a candle and a bible is like being in the Marines (there is also a question of standards being used in the Marines issue). Hahaha. You're really sexist. At least admit it.

Can a 1130 lb woman carry who 210 lb wounded comrade off the battlefield? If she can't, she doesn't belong there where she is is more harm than help. Here's another where they don't belong if they can't pack the baggage:

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/christinerousselle/2013/11/11/fdny-refuses-to-fire-female-firefighter-who-failed-fitness-test-n1744523

I doubt an 1130 lb man can carry much either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, because holding up a candle and a bible is like being in the Marines (there is also a question of standards being used in the Marines issue). Hahaha. You're really sexist. At least admit it.

Can a 1130 lb woman carry who 210 lb wounded comrade off the battlefield? If she can't, she doesn't belong there where she is is more harm than help. Here's another where they don't belong if they can't pack the baggage:

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/christinerousselle/2013/11/11/fdny-refuses-to-fire-female-firefighter-who-failed-fitness-test-n1744523

Wow, please get a new thread for this crap and do not muck this one up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous and the questions about whether the RCC is repressive or not are missing the mark. Rather than strippers and coke, the better comparison would be:

What if her husband suddenly took up golf and was gone every week all through the middle of the day on Sunday? He's checking out on her and on the family during what has up until now been family time. Just guessing that weekend days are the main time they have to spend together as a family.

People who are making excuses because it's "religion" and therefore gets a pass need to think twice. You can have your faith in your belief and draw your spiritual sustenance from that - others might draw their spiritual sustenance from walking 18 holes in the great outdoors and achieving meditative Zen on the course.

This isn't about religion - this is about time the husband is spending on himself and taking away from the family. Personally, I think that's OK - it's good for everyone: kids, parents, etc. - have individual interests outside the home. The OP ought to both get off the anti-religion and also think about letting the husband do some of this - and maybe also taking up her own independent activities (while hubby stays home and runs the house).

The golf analogy is irrelevant. This is about your fundamental belief-system, the way you see the world, your values. Golf (hopefully), isn't.