Husband Turned Catholic on Me

[Anonymous]

I am struggling with something and my relatioship with my DH. After nearly 15 years of marriage, during which time my DH was a non-practicing Catholic, my DH has decided to return to the Church. He now attends Mass or wants to attend Mass every Sunday. He doesn't require me or our children to go, but I feel that he is leaving me on a Sunday morning to deal with the house, kids and breakfast while he gets in his time for "spiritual nourishment." I am angry that I wake up Sunday mornings and he is gone. This used to be our "family time." Now, I am by myself.

Secondly, I am not Catholic. I do not believe in the tenets of the Catholic Church and am angry my DH would even consider going back to a Church that degrades women, is not progressive with regard to gay rights, birth control, abortion, etc. What can/should I say to him about this? I have broached maybe going to another Church, but he says he does not connect with Protestantism as it is not part of his culture and ditto Orthodox Christianity. Has anyone else BTDT?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need jesus and Sunday church day would do your family a whole lot of good. Would you prefer he goes out Sunday morning to get high and check out strippers?

[Anonymous]

What is more important, the 1st part, being away, or the 2nd, Catholics.

Would you care so much if he was going for a run?

How old are the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you need jesus and Sunday church day would do your family a whole lot of good. Would you prefer he goes out Sunday morning to get high and check out strippers?

Those are the only two options, OP. Church or getting high with strippers. Guess you'd better convert!

[Anonymous]

Has he recently been through anything very difficult? My father recently died and while I haven't started going to church I did consider it. For me it is more the familiarity of the Catholic church than anything else. Being Catholic was a big part of my childhood and some memories with my dad, so in a way the thought of going to a couple masses comforts me. I haven't been to church in almost ten years.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you know very little about the church. In America, we sorta ignore 90% of the nonsense that comes out of the Vatican because it's dogma, not faith. We don't abandon our faith because the church hierarchy doesn't move fast enough. I am a woman and I do not feel "degraded" by my church. Disappointed? Yes. But I will stay and push for reform. There are plenty of groups out there pushing for that.

Bottom line is that putting DH on a guilt trip isn't going to get you anywhere. You better learn how to have an open minded discussion with him about this or you are heading for trouble.

[Anonymous]

Ignore PP.

Sounds like you need a good therapist/counselor to help you and husband walk through this. There are strong feelings and mixed emotions. You would benefit from having a third, neutral party help navigate this minefield.

Tell your husband to want to see a counselor to help talk this through. You want to better understand where he's coming from and what this means for your family. Tell him that you have a lot of feelings and questions and feel it would be more productive to have someone facilitate that discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore PP.

Sounds like you need a good therapist/counselor to help you and husband walk through this. There are strong feelings and mixed emotions. You would benefit from having a third, neutral party help navigate this minefield.

Tell your husband to want to see a counselor to help talk this through. You want to better understand where he's coming from and what this means for your family. Tell him that you have a lot of feelings and questions and feel it would be more productive to have someone facilitate that discussion.

By ignore PP, I meant 9:28

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore PP.

Sounds like you need a good therapist/counselor to help you and husband walk through this. There are strong feelings and mixed emotions. You would benefit from having a third, neutral party help navigate this minefield.

Tell your husband to want to see a counselor to help talk this through. You want to better understand where he's coming from and what this means for your family. Tell him that you have a lot of feelings and questions and feel it would be more productive to have someone facilitate that discussion.

By ignore PP, I meant 9:28

Why? Because I was mocking the first PP's asinine response?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore PP.

Sounds like you need a good therapist/counselor to help you and husband walk through this. There are strong feelings and mixed emotions. You would benefit from having a third, neutral party help navigate this minefield.

Tell your husband to want to see a counselor to help talk this through. You want to better understand where he's coming from and what this means for your family. Tell him that you have a lot of feelings and questions and feel it would be more productive to have someone facilitate that discussion.

By ignore PP, I meant 9:28

Why? Because I was mocking the first PP's asinine response?

She meant 9:26.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you need jesus and Sunday church day would do your family a whole lot of good. Would you prefer he goes out Sunday morning to get high and check out strippers?

Those are the only two options, OP. Church or getting high with strippers. Guess you'd better convert!

The person who suggested ignoring this apparently doesn't understand sarcasm. Don't rely on that person for assistance or good advice.

[Anonymous]

Mass is an hour. Seriously, you can't "deal" by yourself for an hour?
Why can't you have family time after DH comes home from Mass?

I find it troubling that you are in a tizzy that your DH wants to return to the Church. Just because you are against it (you are really misinformed about the teachings of the Church from the sound of the post).

Attend an RCIA class. No obligation and free. What's the worst that can happen? You educate yourself about where your DH is coming from???

[Anonymous]

Well, he never goes for a run on Sunday mornings. He's not a runner! And while Mass is an "hour," he wants to go to a specific Mass - the one at 11 am - rather than 7 AM. Realistically, with going to and from, he is gone two hours. I sleep in until 9:30, so he could go earlier.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, come on. Of all the things to complain about, going to church??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he never goes for a run on Sunday mornings. He's not a runner! And while Mass is an "hour," he wants to go to a specific Mass - the one at 11 am - rather than 7 AM. Realistically, with going to and from, he is gone two hours. I sleep in until 9:30, so he could go earlier.

You sound obtuse.