Husband Turned Catholic on Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd meet with a divorce lawyer, to be honest. There's no space for oppressive religions in our marriage.

Yes. We must only associate with those who believe exactly as we do. All others are wrong. What a great lesson for OP to teach her children.

People who think like you are exactly what is wrong with society as a whole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd meet with a divorce lawyer, to be honest. There's no space for oppressive religions in our marriage.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd meet with a divorce lawyer, to be honest. There's no space for oppressive religions in our marriage.

This is sarcasm, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he never goes for a run on Sunday mornings. He's not a runner! And while Mass is an "hour," he wants to go to a specific Mass - the one at 11 am - rather than 7 AM. Realistically, with going to and from, he is gone two hours. I sleep in until 9:30, so he could go earlier.

He's not a runner, but he is Catholic. You need to respect that. I was raised a Jesuit, I always attend the 10:30 mass because I go to a church on a Jesuit college campus and that is the mass that has all the music majors participating. They have the university choir and the musicians. It makes mass more enjoyable. Some parishes have a certain priest assigned to each mass and your husband may have a preference that way.

Honestly, you sound like a terror of a wife and if you'd like to divorce him, I've been looking for a catholic man to date. Send him my way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd meet with a divorce lawyer, to be honest. There's no space for oppressive religions in our marriage.

+1

You people are pathetic. Really and truly sad and pathetic. Your absolutist thinking is as oppressive as any religion.

[Anonymous]

Better than turning gay on you

[Anonymous]

Lapsed Catholic here who left the church for a variety of reasons including its stance on the social issues you mention. That said, many not raised in the faith have a lot of misconceptions about it and you might consider delving into your husbands newfound faith with an open mind. I am not saying you should attend church and certainly not convert, but talk frankly with your husband about what he gets out of the experience. I'll never rejoin the church yet I still feel a sense of comfort and familiarity when I attend Mass (which is almost never but on occasion when I'm visiting my very catholic mother).

You come across as a little biased against Catholicism without knowing much about it. My extensive experience with actually practicing Catholics is that many are less conservative and more tolerant in practice than the dogma of the church would have one believe. In addition, it is somewhat ridiculous to suggest that your husband just swap out a different church. While there are exceptions that have been cited here, many Protestant churches have similar objections on certain social issues.

[Anonymous]

I think you have a couple of ways to go here. You can just let your husband reconnect with his faith without you, or you could do a bit of church-shopping yourself and find an alternative for you and your children.

This is what I did. My son and I started attending a very progressive church that fit my ideals well. We got my husband to tag along a few times, and because the outlook of the church much better reflected his own views, he actually left the Catholic church.

[Anonymous]

I grew up Catholic and am now an atheist. Despite that, I feel the pull of the Church at different times in my life. It's a risk of marrying a Catholic. We're culturally Catholic even when we're atheist and sometimes we go back.

So... if the problem is that you would like to have Sunday morning with your husband and your kids, you need to ask him to find a work around. That could mean that he goes to a Saturday night mass, instead of Sunday morning mass. Saturday night mass is an allowed substitute for Sunday morning mass. I think the fellowship is better on Sunday morning, but he could find a fellowship in a study group or volunteer group if that is what he wants. That would let him attend mass and keep your Sunday mornings open for family.

You don't have to go to mass with him, but you might want to tag along for some of the family events at his parish. Parish picnics are fun. Fish fries are fun. (Do they do fish fries in DC?) If there are youth sports through his parish that is also fun. The parish can be a great source of support for a family. I actually miss that part of being Catholic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he never goes for a run on Sunday mornings. He's not a runner! And while Mass is an "hour," he wants to go to a specific Mass - the one at 11 am - rather than 7 AM. Realistically, with going to and from, he is gone two hours. I sleep in until 9:30, so he could go earlier.

He goes to the later mass so you can sleep in. What brat you are OP. Please get divorced, many single women would love to land your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am struggling with something and my relatioship with my DH. After nearly 15 years of marriage, during which time my DH was a non-practicing Catholic, my DH has decided to return to the Church. He now attends Mass or wants to attend Mass every Sunday. He doesn't require me or our children to go, but I feel that he is leaving me on a Sunday morning to deal with the house, kids and breakfast while he gets in his time for "spiritual nourishment." I am angry that I wake up Sunday mornings and he is gone. This used to be our "family time." Now, I am by myself.

Secondly, I am not Catholic. I do not believe in the tenets of the Catholic Church and am angry my DH would even consider going back to a Church that degrades women, is not progressive with regard to gay rights, birth control, abortion, etc. What can/should I say to him about this? I have broached maybe going to another Church, but he says he does not connect with Protestantism as it is not part of his culture and ditto Orthodox Christianity. Has anyone else BTDT?

So, you don't want your husband to be Catholic, but you want him to consider the Orthodox church instead, which is the same or stricter in virtually every way?

I think you just want to control your husband, actually.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is only gone for 2 hours. It's not really very long. If you don't like being stuck with the kids, have him take the kids with him occasionally. They may enjoy themselves It can be father-child time. I used to go with my dad to church... not because I cared where we went, but because I enjoyed spending time with my dad.

[Anonymous]

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, he never goes for a run on Sunday mornings. He's not a runner! And while Mass is an "hour," he wants to go to a specific Mass - the one at 11 am - rather than 7 AM. Realistically, with going to and from, he is gone two hours. I sleep in until 9:30, so he could go earlier.

Honey if you're already sleeping in until 9:30 on Sunday mornings, you'll get very little sympathy from most of us on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd meet with a divorce lawyer, to be honest. There's no space for oppressive religions in our marriage.

This is sarcasm, right?

No, I'm not being sarcastic. I will not be married to, and/or raise children with, someone who practices a religion that believes in oppression.