If your wife stopped having sex with you, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Nobody gets married JUST for sex. The jokes about the bride smiling because she just gave her last BJ are well known to young men. We get married (and risk the possibility of the sex drying up completely) because we love the women we marry. But sex isn't just a fringe benefit of marriage, it's one of the defining characteristics of marriage. Without sex, it's not a marriage. Exceptions such as illness, etc. that make sex difficult or impossible do not change this for the vast majority of couples who have no such issues. Yeah, it's "to have and to hold, for better or worse." When it's better you damn well need to have and hold or it WILL get worse.

A good marriage is a healthy balance of all things. Yes many men do get married for the sex. Many couples get divorced because they mistake lust for love. Long term couples know sex is not all that important compared to many other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Nobody gets married JUST for sex. The jokes about the bride smiling because she just gave her last BJ are well known to young men. We get married (and risk the possibility of the sex drying up completely) because we love the women we marry. But sex isn't just a fringe benefit of marriage, it's one of the defining characteristics of marriage. Without sex, it's not a marriage. Exceptions such as illness, etc. that make sex difficult or impossible do not change this for the vast majority of couples who have no such issues. Yeah, it's "to have and to hold, for better or worse." When it's better you damn well need to have and hold or it WILL get worse.

A good marriage is a healthy balance of all things. Yes many men do get married for the sex. Many couples get divorced because they mistake lust for love. Long term couples know sex is not all that important compared to many other things.

Not disagreeing with you there. But without sex it's certainly not a healthy balance, is it? I never said sex was the most important thing. Just that without it, it's not really a marriage.

Put another way: sex is not enough to make a marriage work by itself but it won't work without it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Says the cat lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Nobody gets married JUST for sex. The jokes about the bride smiling because she just gave her last BJ are well known to young men. We get married (and risk the possibility of the sex drying up completely) because we love the women we marry. But sex isn't just a fringe benefit of marriage, it's one of the defining characteristics of marriage. Without sex, it's not a marriage. Exceptions such as illness, etc. that make sex difficult or impossible do not change this for the vast majority of couples who have no such issues. Yeah, it's "to have and to hold, for better or worse." When it's better you damn well need to have and hold or it WILL get worse.

A good marriage is a healthy balance of all things. Yes many men do get married for the sex. Many couples get divorced because they mistake lust for love. Long term couples know sex is not all that important compared to many other things.

As one half of a long term couple from a good marriage, I'm going offer the opinion that sex was and is vital to the success of our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Nobody gets married JUST for sex. The jokes about the bride smiling because she just gave her last BJ are well known to young men. We get married (and risk the possibility of the sex drying up completely) because we love the women we marry. But sex isn't just a fringe benefit of marriage, it's one of the defining characteristics of marriage. Without sex, it's not a marriage. Exceptions such as illness, etc. that make sex difficult or impossible do not change this for the vast majority of couples who have no such issues. Yeah, it's "to have and to hold, for better or worse." When it's better you damn well need to have and hold or it WILL get worse.

A good marriage is a healthy balance of all things. Yes many men do get married for the sex. Many couples get divorced because they mistake lust for love. Long term couples know sex is not all that important compared to many other things.

As one half of a long term couple from a good marriage, I'm going offer the opinion that sex was and is vital to the success of our relationship.

I agree. We've been married 34 years and sex is a vital part of our relationship. Yes, other things are important as well but a great sex life is very high on the list. Some things are required such as respect and fidelity, but sex is truly looked forward to.

[Anonymous]

Unless it was for health reasons my husband would either ask for a hall pass or leave. He's not the type to cheat as he has a very strong moral compass but if I said that sex was over for me he'd say well it's not for me and here are the options.

[Anonymous]

As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Any man who gets married "for the constant sex" is truly delusional. There is no excuse, in this day and age, for not knowing just how tragically mistaken that idea is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Any man who gets married "for the constant sex" is truly delusional. There is no excuse, in this day and age, for not knowing just how tragically mistaken that idea is.

Men don't get married for sex. Everybody knows that. You are responding to some crazy woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless it was for health reasons my husband would either ask for a hall pass or leave. He's not the type to cheat as he has a very strong moral compass but if I said that sex was over for me he'd say well it's not for me and here are the options.

Exactly! This is why I insist there is really no such thing as a sexless marriage and anybody who thinks otherwise is nuts. Like that 31 page thread by the "Discoveref affair. Now what?" poster. If you are married, not having sex, and are rejecting your partner (or they've given up after so many rejections), there is a 100% chance your partner is still having sex (with somebody else).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Any man who gets married "for the constant sex" is truly delusional. There is no excuse, in this day and age, for not knowing just how tragically mistaken that idea is.

Men don't get married for sex. Everybody knows that. You are responding to some crazy woman.

Exactly! They get married for the communication, and a full partnership!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Nobody gets married JUST for sex. The jokes about the bride smiling because she just gave her last BJ are well known to young men. We get married (and risk the possibility of the sex drying up completely) because we love the women we marry. But sex isn't just a fringe benefit of marriage, it's one of the defining characteristics of marriage. Without sex, it's not a marriage. Exceptions such as illness, etc. that make sex difficult or impossible do not change this for the vast majority of couples who have no such issues. Yeah, it's "to have and to hold, for better or worse." When it's better you damn well need to have and hold or it WILL get worse.

A good marriage is a healthy balance of all things. Yes many men do get married for the sex. Many couples get divorced because they mistake lust for love. Long term couples know sex is not all that important compared to many other things.

As one half of a long term couple from a good marriage, I'm going offer the opinion that sex was and is vital to the success of our relationship.

As someone whose been married 23 years YES it's important. Equally vital is compromise, responsible finances, trust, and great communication!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A. Get used to relieving yourself and watching porn
B. Stay married and have affairs
C. Get Divorced now
D. Get Divorced after the kids are older

A, I'm starting to get tempted by B, and D has crossed my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A. Get used to relieving yourself and watching porn
B. Stay married and have affairs
C. Get Divorced now
D. Get Divorced after the kids are older

A, I'm starting to get tempted by B, and D has crossed my mind.

E. Cheat on your left hand with your right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A. Get used to relieving yourself and watching porn
B. Stay married and have affairs
C. Get Divorced now
D. Get Divorced after the kids are older

A, I'm starting to get tempted by B, and D has crossed my mind.

As has already been stated previously, A and D are not legit options. Don’t fight it, just pick B or C right now and save a few miserable wasted years for everybody.

[Anonymous]

NP here, so this thread has me worried. I'm engaged, and my fiance and I have basically everything in common but our sex drives. He is very sexual whereas I like sex but don't have to have it, and my sex drive definitely suffers with work and stress. There have been times when we have argued about our sex life or the lack there of because of my disinterest. Are we setting ourselves up for potential disaster? Things are otherwise great, but I could see after a couple of decades, kids, and high pressure jobs, just not wanting to have sex...