Failure to Launch Daughter Is Unemployed and Blaming Me for All of Her Problems

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the saddest part of this whole post is how much you hate your daughter.

I can not imagine how damaged I would have been if my own mother felt or said these things about me when I was in my 20s.

I'm glad she's in therapy. You should try it too.

Right? I’m the posted above who talked about siblings moving home at various times and this whole thing is so sad. When I had any trouble on my 20s my mom was my biggest supporter and encourager, I can’t imagine her calling me “pathetic” st any point in time. I moved home for 6 months after the end of a relationship where I was completely heartbroken. It was comforting to go home to mom for a little while!

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound extremely rigid and speak about your daughter with such distain I can see why posters think you hate her.

If she's stealing from you she's likely desperate. If this is the hill you want to die on - are you prepared for your daughter to end up homeless? Because calling her names and berating her choices at every turn, isn't going to get you want you want here. If you want to continue having a relationship with her, you can only control you and you need to do better.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'm back with an update. DD called me and said that she had a neuropsych eval last month, and that the results would come out later this week. I don't see the point of this at all because we already paid for a neuropsych eval ~5 years ago for her. She is convinced that she has autism, which is ridiculous -- her last neuropsych eval ruled that out.

She told me over the phone this morning that "an update neuropsych will explain why I have a hard time in the workplace." Okay, well... regardless of whatever the results say, that doesn't help her situation. At all.

I'm just sick of her making excuses for her immaturity. It seems like this fixation on autism is the latest in her attempt to build an identity or a personality that is, as always, based on victimhood. At first it was how "abusive" DH and I were to her as a child and how we "traumatized her for life," and now it's autism.

None of this, of course, is helpful nor productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound extremely rigid and speak about your daughter with such distain I can see why posters think you hate her.

If she's stealing from you she's likely desperate. If this is the hill you want to die on - are you prepared for your daughter to end up homeless? Because calling her names and berating her choices at every turn, isn't going to get you want you want here. If you want to continue having a relationship with her, you can only control you and you need to do better.

It's ridiculous and a classic example of black-and-white thinking to insinuate that my daughter will end up homeless just because DH and I have the audacity as parents to point out her immaturity, lack of responsibility, and her current unemployed status that's leading her to steal money from us.

[Anonymous]

You raised her - sounds like a parenting failure.

[Anonymous]

It's pretty clear that you don't love your daughter, and that is where all her issues stem from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that you don't love your daughter, and that is where all her issues stem from.

I would like for these insulting comments to stop. Not only are they simply untrue, but they're unproductive to solving the situation at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm back with an update. DD called me and said that she had a neuropsych eval last month, and that the results would come out later this week. I don't see the point of this at all because we already paid for a neuropsych eval ~5 years ago for her. She is convinced that she has autism, which is ridiculous -- her last neuropsych eval ruled that out.

She told me over the phone this morning that "an update neuropsych will explain why I have a hard time in the workplace." Okay, well... regardless of whatever the results say, that doesn't help her situation. At all.

I'm just sick of her making excuses for her immaturity. It seems like this fixation on autism is the latest in her attempt to build an identity or a personality that is, as always, based on victimhood. At first it was how "abusive" DH and I were to her as a child and how we "traumatized her for life," and now it's autism.

None of this, of course, is helpful nor productive.

Are you looking for help in helping her or are you just here to vent?

[Anonymous]

You have started so many threads on here, with very identifiable information to your daughter, to her friends and to your circle who probably avoid you like the plague.

It is sad, cruel and is causing irreparable harm to chronicle your daughter’s life for everyone to see. It will cause insurmountable grief to her and you need to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that you don't love your daughter, and that is where all her issues stem from.

I would like for these insulting comments to stop. Not only are they simply untrue, but they're unproductive to solving the situation at hand.

That’s not an insult, that pp is just speaking the truth. Your hatred and utter disdain for your daughter shines through in every one of your posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that you don't love your daughter, and that is where all her issues stem from.

I would like for these insulting comments to stop. Not only are they simply untrue, but they're unproductive to solving the situation at hand.

That’s not an insult, that pp is just speaking the truth. Your hatred and utter disdain for your daughter shines through in every one of your posts.

+1. "The situation at hand" is entirely of her own making. I hate OP and didn't have the "privelege" of being raised by her. What a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

You clearly want confirmation as to why you should cut off your daughter. It probably would be best for everyone involved to distance themselves. This is a toxic relationship.

There is no way I would be angry at my kid for using my Amazon account to buy essentials. Since you are, then just cut ties and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You clearly want confirmation as to why you should cut off your daughter. It probably would be best for everyone involved to distance themselves. This is a toxic relationship.

There is no way I would be angry at my kid for using my Amazon account to buy essentials. Since you are, then just cut ties and be done with it.

I agree with this and it would be better for everyone. The day I get pissed about my kid buying soap and shampoo from Amazon, it's done. That relationship is toxic and over. Good job, mom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm back with an update. DD called me and said that she had a neuropsych eval last month, and that the results would come out later this week. I don't see the point of this at all because we already paid for a neuropsych eval ~5 years ago for her. She is convinced that she has autism, which is ridiculous -- her last neuropsych eval ruled that out.

She told me over the phone this morning that "an update neuropsych will explain why I have a hard time in the workplace." Okay, well... regardless of whatever the results say, that doesn't help her situation. At all.

I'm just sick of her making excuses for her immaturity. It seems like this fixation on autism is the latest in her attempt to build an identity or a personality that is, as always, based on victimhood. At first it was how "abusive" DH and I were to her as a child and how we "traumatized her for life," and now it's autism.

None of this, of course, is helpful nor productive.

You need a neuropsych evaluation, OP. You are a nasty piece of work. You and your DH were dumb enough to pay for a degree with religious conditions but not put conditions on her choice of major. You are controlling, and foolishly so.

You are also lacking in empathy and judgment. It's no wonder she is struggling. She seems to have been screwed by both nature and nurture.

[Anonymous]

I thought the daughters who wouldn’t attend church and stole from mom were teens? Troll.