what is the worst thing someone has said to you, on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

If you are often insulted on DCUM in response to comments you have made, that's worth some self-reflection.

Nope. If someone calls you out in a way that bothers you a weird amount, THAT is worth self-reflection (as they've likely struck a nerve). But simply getting insulted a lot on here? That is just a function of posting here. I've seen people get attacked on these boards for literally every reason under the sun. People get attacked for being immigrants and attacked for being American. For being working moms or being SAHMs, for being interested in things and for lacking curiosity. People will insult you on here for existing, for breathing. Being insulted on DCUM is just part of being on DCUM, for better or worse.

I can't even think of the "worst thing" someone has said to me on here because after awhile all the angry, insulting posters kind of blur together and you don't really even see their posts. I am actually far more likely to be bothered by a post insulting someone else, which can trigger protective instincts. But someone insulting me? Eh, whatever, I do not take it seriously at all anymore.

It happens so often that the insulting posts blur together? Yeah, that's definitely the fault of everyone else, and you bear no responsibility at all.

Did you ever see Rounders? The opening line is (paraphrasing) , "If you sit down at a [poker] table and can't spot the sucker in 30 minutes, you ARE the sucker."

But, whatever you need to tell yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your son would fit in well at Oberlin.”

That's so funny. One of my friend's kids is actually at Oberlin.

I would consider that a compliment. One of the smartest students in my class ended up at Oberlin.

They were far smarter than I was, anyway.

Yeah I thought that for a long time, until the teacher at Georgetown Prep who had recently graduated from Oberlin fondled the 13 yr old girl

NP. So you just think that anyone who goes to Oberlin molests kids? Mmkay.

No I do not. But it will tarnish their image, absolutely and you know that.

I'm pretty sure every single institution of higher learning in the US or anywhere else has had at least one kid molester among their alums. Nobody int heir right mind would think Oberlin or any other college would be tarnished because of what one person who went there did.

No one disagrees. But not every college has a scandal of that magnitude. A lot flies under the radar.

I’d never heard of this Oberlin incident, so I don’t think it’s as big a deal as you think. Oberlin remains untarnished.

I'm sure you make a huge difference in the world, but their admissions office saw a huge fall off in applications the following round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

Curious.

How do you guarantee something like that?

Do you have some special knowledge that no one else has?

No, the person is full of bs. There are absolutely paid media people who show up here.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids was diagnosed with a life limiting condition. They would eventually die about 14 months later so this was not a mild diagnosis.

He left the hospital dependent on a ventilator. As we were reeling and trying to figure out how to balance his new and enormous needs with those of his siblings, I posted here. People told me I was selfish for not putting my “normal” kids first 100% of the time, that he probably was so disabled he didn’t know I existed (note: his cognitive capacities were not impacted by his medical condition, but even if they had been, kids with intellectual and developmental disabilities know their parents exist), and that I was obviously exaggerating about his needs.

I am so very sorry on the death of your beloved child.
There is no excuse for what others responded to your post.

But unfortunately it is typical of some of the posters on here.

I honestly could never speak this way, even if I were 200% anonymous.
💔

+1. I’ve seen posters respond that way when people talk about illnesses of their children, problems with health care and I am so sorry to read those responses. It makes me feel like there are a few people on this Board who are sociopaths. I hope they know that nothing is truly anonymous on the internet and one day their descendants will read the toxic bile they posted and feel ashamed.

I am the PP who lost a child. I think that people desperately want child death to be the parents fault, so that they can feel safe. They want to think that I fed my child something they would never have fed theirs or that I did something terrible and karma got me.

Or they want to believe that illnesses like my child’s only happen to kids with ID or some other condition their kid didn’t have.

Look at the threads on here when a child dies. Jeff works hard to keep them cleans up but the parents are always blamed.

Yes, this happens every time. Every single time. It’s unconscionable.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Your post took my breath away. So very sorry 😞

I hope Jeff banned them forever. Collectively, we must report the most egregious comments rather than inundating mods with nonsense reporting. Faster deletion could shield the victim from even seeing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was truly hurt when I was ostracized by a group of neighbors and a poster on here insisted that I must have done something to deserve it and definitely slept with someone else's husband. LOL what? no. sigh.

omg. There is no sympathy on any online posts for people who are bullied by others. This is so on point for dcum.

Also the quick jump to assume sexual interactions on this site is so ridiculous as to be funny. I posted years ago about an interaction my dh had with a neighbor who made him very uncomfortable. She asked him to come to her house to help with something. He went, helped, came back and said he never wanted to go over there again and wanted to avoid her. She is mentally unwell. I posted about this when a poster was complaining about a neighbor making them feel uncomfortable, approximately 1 million posts followed assuring me she had given my dh a bj in her home while her dh and kids were there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your son would fit in well at Oberlin.”

That's so funny. One of my friend's kids is actually at Oberlin.

I would consider that a compliment. One of the smartest students in my class ended up at Oberlin.

They were far smarter than I was, anyway.

Yeah I thought that for a long time, until the teacher at Georgetown Prep who had recently graduated from Oberlin fondled the 13 yr old girl

NP. So you just think that anyone who goes to Oberlin molests kids? Mmkay.

I agree that poster above lacks critical thinking skills. My post is so on point for this thread but it needs to be said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

Oh I agree with this. I didn’t mean the “insufferable” comment was from a paid troll. That was just someone who took the worst possible interpretation of a question I asked.

But there are plenty of people who are so transparently trying to get fights started, it seems possible that they are paid for their effort. (And wouldn’t this site be a great target for an entity that wanted to create divides?)

I know that a couple who live near me who were part of a politicians "media team" who were part of an organized group to spread the word about the person they wanted to be president. They were kicked off numerous web sites for dragging insane politics in to every forum. I despised them because they were relentless and would not stop with the insane posts full of misinformation and general craziness. They posted in many places using their names. They would copy and paste the same posts all over the place. Interesting to note, the wife is a convicted felon and can't vote. Both had serious drug problems. They suddenly, out of the blue, disappeared. I've never seen them post anywhere again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Enjoy Applebee's."

What was the context? For some reason this made me laugh.

I've added it to my insult arsenal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

Oh I agree with this. I didn’t mean the “insufferable” comment was from a paid troll. That was just someone who took the worst possible interpretation of a question I asked.

But there are plenty of people who are so transparently trying to get fights started, it seems possible that they are paid for their effort. (And wouldn’t this site be a great target for an entity that wanted to create divides?)

Where can I get a side gig like this? Sounds like easy money.

I see that you’re mocking me, and that’s fine. But it’s 2025 and we have years of documentation about malign influences actively trying to sway the conversation on boards such as this, including using paid commenters and AI bots. I’m not sure why the working assumption should be that they’re not here.

DP and I agree with you, but I also agree that DCUM doesn't have an audience big enough (I dont think) for that to be the case. However, I see that kind of obvious paid troll stuff all over other social media platforms.

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Idiot”
I’ve gotten that several times. I don’t take it personally. I’ve seen it lobbed at many others.

but I'd bet the post that garnered that response was filled with ignorance, racism or ableism. If you post some ignorant trash about people with disabilities or some racist crap, be prepared to get slapped back. There seem to be weekly posts attacking students with disabilities and they are filled with vile stereotypes and mistruths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

If you are often insulted on DCUM in response to comments you have made, that's worth some self-reflection.

Nope. If someone calls you out in a way that bothers you a weird amount, THAT is worth self-reflection (as they've likely struck a nerve). But simply getting insulted a lot on here? That is just a function of posting here. I've seen people get attacked on these boards for literally every reason under the sun. People get attacked for being immigrants and attacked for being American. For being working moms or being SAHMs, for being interested in things and for lacking curiosity. People will insult you on here for existing, for breathing. Being insulted on DCUM is just part of being on DCUM, for better or worse.

I can't even think of the "worst thing" someone has said to me on here because after awhile all the angry, insulting posters kind of blur together and you don't really even see their posts. I am actually far more likely to be bothered by a post insulting someone else, which can trigger protective instincts. But someone insulting me? Eh, whatever, I do not take it seriously at all anymore.

It happens so often that the insulting posts blur together? Yeah, that's definitely the fault of everyone else, and you bear no responsibility at all.

Did you ever see Rounders? The opening line is (paraphrasing) , "If you sit down at a [poker] table and can't spot the sucker in 30 minutes, you ARE the sucker."

But, whatever you need to tell yourself.

Eh, I believe PP.

I’ve seen people on here insulted for truly benign things. It’s as if some posters are just itching to insult, like their insides are filled with free-floating insults desperately searching for an outlet. It’s really weird sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

If you are often insulted on DCUM in response to comments you have made, that's worth some self-reflection.

Nope. If someone calls you out in a way that bothers you a weird amount, THAT is worth self-reflection (as they've likely struck a nerve). But simply getting insulted a lot on here? That is just a function of posting here. I've seen people get attacked on these boards for literally every reason under the sun. People get attacked for being immigrants and attacked for being American. For being working moms or being SAHMs, for being interested in things and for lacking curiosity. People will insult you on here for existing, for breathing. Being insulted on DCUM is just part of being on DCUM, for better or worse.

I can't even think of the "worst thing" someone has said to me on here because after awhile all the angry, insulting posters kind of blur together and you don't really even see their posts. I am actually far more likely to be bothered by a post insulting someone else, which can trigger protective instincts. But someone insulting me? Eh, whatever, I do not take it seriously at all anymore.

It happens so often that the insulting posts blur together? Yeah, that's definitely the fault of everyone else, and you bear no responsibility at all.

Did you ever see Rounders? The opening line is (paraphrasing) , "If you sit down at a [poker] table and can't spot the sucker in 30 minutes, you ARE the sucker."

But, whatever you need to tell yourself.

Eh, I believe PP.

I’ve seen people on here insulted for truly benign things. It’s as if some posters are just itching to insult, like their insides are filled with free-floating insults desperately searching for an outlet. It’s really weird sometimes.

I see those people too and I think they are possibly quite meek in real life, the under-dogs who get treated badly by someone on a regular basis, this place is like free Gestalt therapy for them, they can punch the pillow and shout "I hate you Daddy" metaphorically when they call someone whatever insult they are throwing around that day.

[Anonymous]

The worst things I've seen on DCUM is people encouraging others to kill themselves. There once was a thread during the pandemic where someone was asking how parents could support teachers and someone responded that parents should kill themselves. There were a number of posts regarding federal workers who were getting fired who were being told to kill themselves. Jeff deletes these when they are reported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was truly hurt when I was ostracized by a group of neighbors and a poster on here insisted that I must have done something to deserve it and definitely slept with someone else's husband. LOL what? no. sigh.

omg. There is no sympathy on any online posts for people who are bullied by others. This is so on point for dcum.

This. The Parenting--Special Concerns where people talk about abusive exes are appallingly victim-blaming. DCUM really, truly is the most vile place I've ever seen on the internet. Doesn't stop me from coming here, because apparently I'm a masochist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

If you are often insulted on DCUM in response to comments you have made, that's worth some self-reflection.

Nope. If someone calls you out in a way that bothers you a weird amount, THAT is worth self-reflection (as they've likely struck a nerve). But simply getting insulted a lot on here? That is just a function of posting here. I've seen people get attacked on these boards for literally every reason under the sun. People get attacked for being immigrants and attacked for being American. For being working moms or being SAHMs, for being interested in things and for lacking curiosity. People will insult you on here for existing, for breathing. Being insulted on DCUM is just part of being on DCUM, for better or worse.

I can't even think of the "worst thing" someone has said to me on here because after awhile all the angry, insulting posters kind of blur together and you don't really even see their posts. I am actually far more likely to be bothered by a post insulting someone else, which can trigger protective instincts. But someone insulting me? Eh, whatever, I do not take it seriously at all anymore.

It happens so often that the insulting posts blur together? Yeah, that's definitely the fault of everyone else, and you bear no responsibility at all.

Did you ever see Rounders? The opening line is (paraphrasing) , "If you sit down at a [poker] table and can't spot the sucker in 30 minutes, you ARE the sucker."

But, whatever you need to tell yourself.

Eh, I believe PP.

I’ve seen people on here insulted for truly benign things. It’s as if some posters are just itching to insult, like their insides are filled with free-floating insults desperately searching for an outlet. It’s really weird sometimes.

I see those people too and I think they are possibly quite meek in real life, the under-dogs who get treated badly by someone on a regular basis, this place is like free Gestalt therapy for them, they can punch the pillow and shout "I hate you Daddy" metaphorically when they call someone whatever insult they are throwing around that day.

I love the vision of DCUM as Gestalt therapy! So spot-on.