what is the worst thing someone has said to you, on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

DP. I would 100% fire a nanny that put the baby to sleep on its stomach. This is basic childcare knowledge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your son would fit in well at Oberlin.”

That's so funny. One of my friend's kids is actually at Oberlin.

I would consider that a compliment. One of the smartest students in my class ended up at Oberlin.

They were far smarter than I was, anyway.

Yeah I thought that for a long time, until the teacher at Georgetown Prep who had recently graduated from Oberlin fondled the 13 yr old girl

NP. So you just think that anyone who goes to Oberlin molests kids? Mmkay.

No I do not. But it will tarnish their image, absolutely and you know that.

I'm pretty sure every single institution of higher learning in the US or anywhere else has had at least one kid molester among their alums. Nobody int heir right mind would think Oberlin or any other college would be tarnished because of what one person who went there did.

No one disagrees. But not every college has a scandal of that magnitude. A lot flies under the radar.

I’d never heard of this Oberlin incident, so I don’t think it’s as big a deal as you think. Oberlin remains untarnished.

[Anonymous]

I got off the site for a year or two after a teacher-bashing thread. I didn’t even post on the thread, but I realized I didn’t have time for things that sucked my energy and motivation. It was a refreshing break, but I, unfortunately, found my way back on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

Ayyyy, a new insult recorded for the PP! Congrats, PP! Another notch in the belt!

And the beat goes on.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised the famous “you sound unhinged” hasn’t made this list

[Anonymous]

I wish I could see my old posts so I could see exactly what people wrote…I was called some choice names for 1) posting that I find it weird to give candy to moms trick or treating with infants and 2) questioning whether or not my DD should inform her school that another girl didn’t pull her applications after getting an ED acceptance.

I now notice that other people start pretty much the same threads almost every year so I am not alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised the famous “you sound unhinged” hasn’t made this list

Or some version of “what are you prattling on about.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised the famous “you sound unhinged” hasn’t made this list

Or some version of “what are you prattling on about.”

Oh I’ve had that one twice now!

I don’t really get offended, though, because sometimes I actually am, it’s a fair observation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could see my old posts so I could see exactly what people wrote…I was called some choice names for 1) posting that I find it weird to give candy to moms trick or treating with infants and 2) questioning whether or not my DD should inform her school that another girl didn’t pull her applications after getting an ED acceptance.

I now notice that other people start pretty much the same threads almost every year so I am not alone!

Eh they probably called you judgy and cheap for begrudging " a few pieces of candy". Then they probably called you "too poor" and told you to just turn your lights off. I've seen all those threads too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could see my old posts so I could see exactly what people wrote…I was called some choice names for 1) posting that I find it weird to give candy to moms trick or treating with infants and 2) questioning whether or not my DD should inform her school that another girl didn’t pull her applications after getting an ED acceptance.

I now notice that other people start pretty much the same threads almost every year so I am not alone!

Eh they probably called you judgy and cheap for begrudging " a few pieces of candy". Then they probably called you "too poor" and told you to just turn your lights off. I've seen all those threads too!

I find the mixed insults along the lines of being either "nouveau riche" or "gaudy and gauche" or "you sound poor" and "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" to be funny in their own way.

Pick a lane. Are you just making fun of everyone?

Spoiler: probably

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are obviously accounts here that just seek to troll

Recommend a movie: "you clearly have bad taste in movies"

I've been called "disgustingly nouveau riche"

Asking advice for my daughter and bc: "you must be so proud that your teenager sleeps around so much"

"You just make yourself sound fat"

Mostly I just get called a liar ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯

I don't really take any of it to heart but as an Obama campaign worker and donor with slightly centrist views, I get a little jolt every time I get called a MAGA troll.

Also have been accused of being a liar about experiences I have personally had.

The compliments and ability to help people with obscure knowledge keep me coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started posting on DCUM during the pandemic (boredom + loneliness + anxiety over everything led me here -- I suspect I'm not alone in this). Even though I live in DC and had a 2 year old at the time, I wasn't even aware of the website prior to that.

I have been insulted lots of times though most of them don't really stick out and I can't remember exactly what people said. However I recall a time within my first year of being here where a poster was so cruel to me (repeatedly calling me a troll, ripping apart my posts and making fun of how I wrote, accusing me of sock puppeting, something I didn't even know about at the time) that it genuinely impacted my mental health for a few days. I remember I kept engaging with them to defend myself, and then reading these awful things they'd say to me in response, and becoming internally upset and leaving the site for a few hours to calm down, and then coming back again and repeating the cycle.

I finally recognized that they were intentionally baiting me, that my emotional reaction was obviously exactly what the wanted, and left that thread. I took a little break from DCUM after that, maybe a few weeks. But I eventually made my way back.

After that though, I discovered that when people would say rude things to me, I was better able to ignore them. Often I wouldn't engage, or if I did, it was in a detached way that didn't invite more debate. Not defensively. I learned, when I started threads, to mostly ignore the posters who would jump in right away to attack. I learned to report posts that were obviously against DCUM standards or totally derailing a thread.

In the end, I think the experience has been good for me. It's actually probably good for me to see the worst things people can say to me about my intelligence, my parenting, my personal choices. I am sure some of these are things people IRL have thought of me but never said. Confronting them on DCUM has helped me let go of the idea that it matters what strangers think of me. It's made me less defensive in general and more apt to write off people who are unfairly judgmental as simply not useful.

It's like going to grad school for dealing with vicious people. At first it tears you apart, but then you build back up stronger and wiser and with more tools in your toolkit, so to speak.

Now if someone insults me on here it doesn't even register. I know people have done it recently but I couldn't even tell you what they said. I skim over it and move on with my life.

"Grad school for dealing with vicious people". That's a fun turn of phrase. I wish there was a "grad school for overcoming casual sexism at work"!

[Anonymous]

Someone posted my DC’s name on a “name I hate” thread. It was obvs about my kid. I’ve never heard it before aside from grandparent. Though a few pages later someone posted, “I know this kid and s/he’s awesome,” so I was also grateful to a kind anonymous poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone posted my DC’s name on a “name I hate” thread. It was obvs about my kid. I’ve never heard it before aside from grandparent. Though a few pages later someone posted, “I know this kid and s/he’s awesome,” so I was also grateful to a kind anonymous poster.

Couldn’t it have been about a different person with the same name? Even the most unique names often aren’t as unique as we tend to think…