Is there any expectation on a family member who stays “postpartum”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

In many cases the FIL doesn't come. It's very common for dads and FILs to stay home while their wives travel to the new family, but traditionally this is because she's going to help, not sit around expecting the new mom to wait on her.

[Anonymous]

My ILs visited but stayed elsewhere. I remember that my nipples hurt so much that wearing a shirt was painful. But I had to wear one when they were visiting and be in pain.

They are both great cooks but I do not recall them cooking anything for us.

MIL made noise about wanting to take older grandchildren on a trip. Most were not into it.

We worked FT, and grandparents had summers off and could have visited us more but they chose not to do that. So, they spent little time with grandkids overall.

As a result, grandkids did not want to take a trip with them, especially because FIL is so passive and MIL forces people with less power to do things her way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

In many cases the FIL doesn't come. It's very common for dads and FILs to stay home while their wives travel to the new family, but traditionally this is because she's going to help, not sit around expecting the new mom to wait on her.

Oh, I’m aware of that. Time for the FIL to step up is what I’m suggesting.

They can cook a meal and use a dust rag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The expectation is that they cook, clean, and serve you. That's what we do in our family.

Of course this. FIL’s from the past are even worse in their expectations. Mine would pad downstairs in his pj’s and ask me “what’s for breakfast?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

In many cases the FIL doesn't come. It's very common for dads and FILs to stay home while their wives travel to the new family, but traditionally this is because she's going to help, not sit around expecting the new mom to wait on her.

Oh, I’m aware of that. Time for the FIL to step up is what I’m suggesting.

They can cook a meal and use a dust rag.

Nope. No one forced MIL to come. MILs who don't want to come can stay home with their husbands.

[Anonymous]

I’m eternally grateful to my SIL, who had a baby (the 1st grandchild) 2 years before me, and trained MIL and FIL (her parents) on how to be helpful grandparents.
I think an reasonable expectation is that any postpartum guests will be helpful, self-sufficient, and not have a “guest” mentality.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL doesn’t like you. You know this. Giving birth wasn’t going to magically change that.

Go talk to and complain to that husband yours. Sure he invited her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL complained about takeout and asked for a home cooked meal, lol. Such a b.

My MIL was the one bringing in the take out. She also did laundry and once took my colicky baby so I could shower. She was such a nice woman. I'm sad my second kid will never get a chance to know her. Stupid cancer.

Yep, mine held my baby so I could sleep, went to Target and the grocery stores in the snow as soon as they opened to get stuff we needed, and drove me to the doctor. She is not perfect, but she is very kind and has a good heart and I am grateful for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

Who tf would impose themselves as houseguests on a family who literally just had a baby, and not help at all? Her being the MIL is incidental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

In many cases the FIL doesn't come. It's very common for dads and FILs to stay home while their wives travel to the new family, but traditionally this is because she's going to help, not sit around expecting the new mom to wait on her.

Oh, I’m aware of that. Time for the FIL to step up is what I’m suggesting.

They can cook a meal and use a dust rag.

You knew the baby was coming. You should have stocked your freezer and had the house cleaned before the baby came. Did the whole nesting thing pass you by? Why do you need your MIL to do work you should have done before baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL doesn’t like you. You know this. Giving birth wasn’t going to magically change that.

Go talk to and complain to that husband yours. Sure he invited her.

Doesn't matter who invited her. She should have declined if she was unwilling to help. She is a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL doesn’t like you. You know this. Giving birth wasn’t going to magically change that.

Go talk to and complain to that husband yours. Sure he invited her.

Doesn't matter who invited her. She should have declined if she was unwilling to help. She is a horrible person.

That’s a husband issue & problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

In many cases the FIL doesn't come. It's very common for dads and FILs to stay home while their wives travel to the new family, but traditionally this is because she's going to help, not sit around expecting the new mom to wait on her.

Oh, I’m aware of that. Time for the FIL to step up is what I’m suggesting.

They can cook a meal and use a dust rag.

You knew the baby was coming. You should have stocked your freezer and had the house cleaned before the baby came. Did the whole nesting thing pass you by? Why do you need your MIL to do work you should have done before baby?

You people are unreal. If you want to understand why we don’t have villages anymore, the above comment perfectly captures it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think if a family member asks to stay at a new mom’s house in the week post partum she’s required to help in some way?

I’m asking because MIL stayed for a week a day after I had our baby and didn’t get me a glass of water, didn’t cook a single meal or help in any way and I thought it was really rude.

Oh Jesus can we go for five minutes without bashing a mother in law? Does anyone have any new material?

Agree. wtf. Is it not 2025?

Where are the men performing any labor here?

Why does passive football-watching FIL always get a pass?

In many cases the FIL doesn't come. It's very common for dads and FILs to stay home while their wives travel to the new family, but traditionally this is because she's going to help, not sit around expecting the new mom to wait on her.

Oh, I’m aware of that. Time for the FIL to step up is what I’m suggesting.

They can cook a meal and use a dust rag.

You knew the baby was coming. You should have stocked your freezer and had the house cleaned before the baby came. Did the whole nesting thing pass you by? Why do you need your MIL to do work you should have done before baby?

You people are unreal. If you want to understand why we don’t have villages anymore, the above comment perfectly captures it.

We don’t have villages because we value our independence and autonomy. So we pay for the help we want and need without the judgment and expectations of family. You all want the good without the bad and its not realistic.