If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably everyone in a long term relationship has discussed what happens if you are discovered. Obviously, we are all very careful if we have managed to keep the relationship going for so long without being discovered.

There is a difference with those wishing to ultimately be together in real life and those of us that have no intention of that.

I was worried one time that we would raise suspicions at home because we were starting to become a little bit detached in our primary relationships, so we took a break for a couple of months.

Sure. And then it happens and they don’t follow the script.

They tell the spouse everything and they have your name and all of your secrets and ruin your life. Then, it gets nasty and you realize you were with a piece of sh@t. Two lying pieces of sh@t. When the lights come on, the cockroaches scatter….

You aren’t going to tell your spouse everything because if you did they wouldn’t stay with you. We have never written anywhere our feelings so there is no proof that anyone can find.

Oh honey….

Women interrogate harder than the Taliban…days, 2am, 4am, nobody sleeps for months…they get every little detail…and if they find one inconsistency—-you can assure it’s over for them. The disgusting things you learn and ask about. The stuff we know about you —-you’d be horrified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably everyone in a long term relationship has discussed what happens if you are discovered. Obviously, we are all very careful if we have managed to keep the relationship going for so long without being discovered.

There is a difference with those wishing to ultimately be together in real life and those of us that have no intention of that.

I was worried one time that we would raise suspicions at home because we were starting to become a little bit detached in our primary relationships, so we took a break for a couple of months.

Sure. And then it happens and they don’t follow the script.

They tell the spouse everything and they have your name and all of your secrets and ruin your life. Then, it gets nasty and you realize you were with a piece of sh@t. Two lying pieces of sh@t. When the lights come on, the cockroaches scatter….

You aren’t going to tell your spouse everything because if you did they wouldn’t stay with you. We have never written anywhere our feelings so there is no proof that anyone can find.

Oh honey….

Women interrogate harder than the Taliban…days, 2am, 4am, nobody sleeps for months…they get every little detail…and if they find one inconsistency—-you can assure it’s over for them. The disgusting things you learn and ask about. The stuff we know about you —-you’d be horrified.

DP. Ha. So true. I knew intimate details of her prior affair too…and her trip to the gyn when that AP cheated on her, etc.

[Anonymous]

That’s the thing, she’s banging a liar and thinks he only lies to his wife not her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ yep

The longer they go without getting caught, the cockier and bolder they get. Somebody always eventually messes up. You can’t guarantee your fellow scumbag won’t get caught…and women are more likely to catch their husbands….and then yours will be notified at a time without any warning since to have a chance he 100% will cutoff all contact.

We got more cautious and careful with time. Probably because the insane chemicals that caused us to lose our minds and get into it in the first place were waning and we were coming to our senses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

Two years later this isn’t about some strange D, although that part is amazing between us due to our great connection.

It’s amazing when he’s banging his wife too lol—and when your nasty secret gets out - it’s going to rain hell and Mr Lovey Dovey is going to throw you under the bus so fast and cut off all contact, likely degrade you on the way out too to ensure you don’t try to contact.

Seen this thing a thousand times….it gets ugly.

It doesn’t bother me that he has sex with his wife, that’s expected. We are both free to say what we need to if it came to that in order to save the marriage.

We have already planned for a way to be able to contact each other should we be forced to go NC.

We are going to end things soon because of life circumstances, but remain friends.
No regrets or wishing for more, just happy our paths crossed and we were able to connect. Will never do this with anyone else.

Same situation. Ending soon. I think many people have this kind of thing where we know our families come first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s the thing, she’s banging a liar and thinks he only lies to his wife not her.

You have a complete misunderstanding of affairs between two people that don’t want to change their situation at home.

We are both liars, but we don’t need to lie to each other. We both know our place in each others lives and our primary relationship always comes first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the thing, she’s banging a liar and thinks he only lies to his wife not her.

You have a complete misunderstanding of affairs between two people that don’t want to change their situation at home.

We are both liars, but we don’t need to lie to each other. We both know our place in each others lives and our primary relationship always comes first.

Yeah- that was what I had. Then a spouse found out and both marriages imploded. It was several years in by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the thing, she’s banging a liar and thinks he only lies to his wife not her.

You have a complete misunderstanding of affairs between two people that don’t want to change their situation at home.

We are both liars, but we don’t need to lie to each other. We both know our place in each others lives and our primary relationship always comes first.

Yeah- that was what I had. Then a spouse found out and both marriages imploded. It was several years in by then.

And the affair was over at the time the spouse found out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the thing, she’s banging a liar and thinks he only lies to his wife not her.

You have a complete misunderstanding of affairs between two people that don’t want to change their situation at home.

We are both liars, but we don’t need to lie to each other. We both know our place in each others lives and our primary relationship always comes first.

Yeah- that was what I had. Then a spouse found out and both marriages imploded. It was several years in by then.

And the affair was over at the time the spouse found out.

How did they find out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the profile of the typical man who has an affair with a married woman? I would be scared to do so because I am a man and I know how we unpredictable we men can be when angry. It takes an extreme amount of courage to f**k another man's wife.

Well- that’s where you mess up. Lol Hobag should have been scared to f**k another woman’s husband. We, women, can be pretty damn unpredictable and angry too.

99.99% of women will not physically harm the other woman. The same cannot be said of men.

That’s a high estimate (I’d say about 60%) and how do you know you aren’t crossing paths with the 1%? Also, there are so many ways she can make your life hell that aren’t physical harm.

Remember the lady here on DCUM who went to the house of her husband's mistress and proceeded to slash all her Christmas inflatables on her lawn with a knife in a rampage?

😩