If you had an affair that lasted longer than a year, tell me about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife had an affair that lasted 20 months. She is in a 1 bedroom apartment now and I have full custody. If someone tells you that it's 50/50 for everything regardless of affairs they are just too broke to afford a great lawyer.

Yeah…no.

[Anonymous]

I had an affair with a married man for two years. I am not married. It was probably an emotional affair for many years prior to that. No, I don’t feel I was living a double life; I do think he was. I just feel my private life was private. The relationship was long distance and we only saw each other 3-4 times a year. It ended when I wanted him to decide between his wife and me, and he decided instead to find another AP who lived closer so he could cheat even more on his wife. At first, I believed him when he said his marriage was bad but I eventually came to realize he was just a cheater and his wife was ignoring it. No need for me to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife had an affair that lasted 20 months. She is in a 1 bedroom apartment now and I have full custody. If someone tells you that it's 50/50 for everything regardless of affairs they are just too broke to afford a great lawyer.

Everyone reacting negatively to this must not have suffered betrayal and the complete nuclear bomb a cheating spouse can drop on their family.

Tell me your ways. This is the outcome I’m hoping for (not out of spite but to keep everyone’s lives as consistent as possible with how they are right now before official divorce)

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

Two years later this isn’t about some strange D, although that part is amazing between us due to our great connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

Two years later this isn’t about some strange D, although that part is amazing between us due to our great connection.

It’s amazing when he’s banging his wife too lol—and when your nasty secret gets out - it’s going to rain hell and Mr Lovey Dovey is going to throw you under the bus so fast and cut off all contact, likely degrade you on the way out too to ensure you don’t try to contact.

Seen this thing a thousand times….it gets ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

Two years later this isn’t about some strange D, although that part is amazing between us due to our great connection.

It’s amazing when he’s banging his wife too lol—and when your nasty secret gets out - it’s going to rain hell and Mr Lovey Dovey is going to throw you under the bus so fast and cut off all contact, likely degrade you on the way out too to ensure you don’t try to contact.

Seen this thing a thousand times….it gets ugly.

Hopefully, her husband takes that other guy’s advice and leaves her with nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

Two years later this isn’t about some strange D, although that part is amazing between us due to our great connection.

It’s amazing when he’s banging his wife too lol—and when your nasty secret gets out - it’s going to rain hell and Mr Lovey Dovey is going to throw you under the bus so fast and cut off all contact, likely degrade you on the way out too to ensure you don’t try to contact.

You’re absolutely right- men are cowards.

Seen this thing a thousand times….it gets ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

Two years later this isn’t about some strange D, although that part is amazing between us due to our great connection.

It’s amazing when he’s banging his wife too lol—and when your nasty secret gets out - it’s going to rain hell and Mr Lovey Dovey is going to throw you under the bus so fast and cut off all contact, likely degrade you on the way out too to ensure you don’t try to contact.

Seen this thing a thousand times….it gets ugly.

It doesn’t bother me that he has sex with his wife, that’s expected. We are both free to say what we need to if it came to that in order to save the marriage.

We have already planned for a way to be able to contact each other should we be forced to go NC.

We are going to end things soon because of life circumstances, but remain friends.
No regrets or wishing for more, just happy our paths crossed and we were able to connect. Will never do this with anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t feel like a double life, it feels like we complete each other’s happiness. We realize this relationship has an end soon even though we deeply care about each other.

We went into it knowing we aren’t changing anything about our primary relationships and to just enjoy and be grateful for the time we get together.

Fantasyland - all is great. Watch the hate and explosion when one of the spouses finds out. GL with fkkkkg up your life and other’s for some strange D.

Two years later this isn’t about some strange D, although that part is amazing between us due to our great connection.

It’s amazing when he’s banging his wife too lol—and when your nasty secret gets out - it’s going to rain hell and Mr Lovey Dovey is going to throw you under the bus so fast and cut off all contact, likely degrade you on the way out too to ensure you don’t try to contact.

Seen this thing a thousand times….it gets ugly.

It doesn’t bother me that he has sex with his wife, that’s expected. We are both free to say what we need to if it came to that in order to save the marriage.

We have already planned for a way to be able to contact each other should we be forced to go NC.

We are going to end things soon because of life circumstances, but remain friends.
No regrets or wishing for more, just happy our paths crossed and we were able to connect. Will never do this with anyone else.

An interesting S/O thread would be to hear from the ones doing this on whether they actually discuss the after times in the future or just bury their heads in the sand living in the moment

[Anonymous]

Probably everyone in a long term relationship has discussed what happens if you are discovered. Obviously, we are all very careful if we have managed to keep the relationship going for so long without being discovered.

There is a difference with those wishing to ultimately be together in real life and those of us that have no intention of that.

I was worried one time that we would raise suspicions at home because we were starting to become a little bit detached in our primary relationships, so we took a break for a couple of months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably everyone in a long term relationship has discussed what happens if you are discovered. Obviously, we are all very careful if we have managed to keep the relationship going for so long without being discovered.

There is a difference with those wishing to ultimately be together in real life and those of us that have no intention of that.

I was worried one time that we would raise suspicions at home because we were starting to become a little bit detached in our primary relationships, so we took a break for a couple of months.

Sure. And then it happens and they don’t follow the script.

They tell the spouse everything and they have your name and all of your secrets and ruin your life. Then, it gets nasty and you realize you were with a piece of sh@t. Two lying pieces of sh@t. When the lights come on, the cockroaches scatter….

[Anonymous]

^ yep

The longer they go without getting caught, the cockier and bolder they get. Somebody always eventually messes up. You can’t guarantee your fellow scumbag won’t get caught…and women are more likely to catch their husbands….and then yours will be notified at a time without any warning since to have a chance he 100% will cutoff all contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably everyone in a long term relationship has discussed what happens if you are discovered. Obviously, we are all very careful if we have managed to keep the relationship going for so long without being discovered.

There is a difference with those wishing to ultimately be together in real life and those of us that have no intention of that.

I was worried one time that we would raise suspicions at home because we were starting to become a little bit detached in our primary relationships, so we took a break for a couple of months.

Sure. And then it happens and they don’t follow the script.

They tell the spouse everything and they have your name and all of your secrets and ruin your life. Then, it gets nasty and you realize you were with a piece of sh@t. Two lying pieces of sh@t. When the lights come on, the cockroaches scatter….

You aren’t going to tell your spouse everything because if you did they wouldn’t stay with you. We have never written anywhere our feelings so there is no proof that anyone can find.