DH having emotional affair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your husband know that you are aware of his emotional affair OP??

Yes-- out in the open now. Maybe it wasn't quite an "affair" but was flirty and inappropriate and possibly heading that way.
He agreed to lessen the talking and focus on us. Like I said, we were on horribly shaky ground before this so we have some work to do.

The guy I am in an EA with told his wife that too and he did it to some degree. That hasn't changed the way we feel about each other or the extent of our interaction except in minor ways. His marriage is also on very shaky ground but he doesn't want to intentionally hurt her. I'm just telling you this so you know that him saying that doesn't necessarily mean a whole hell of a lot. I actually knew him before she did and our emotions aren't going anywhere.

Are you also married? How long has he been? Any kids? What is your goal with this? Only so much I can do I guess. If he leaves me he leaves me, so be it. I am not going to beg. His EA person is single and extremely attention seeking (at least on social)

I am not married, he's been married five years, they don't have kids together, I have no goal, I just love him and he loves me and that's it. Not physical but pretty close to it. He is very torn between his feelings and his commitment to his marriage. I respect that but I don't want to lose him. I hope your husband does not have the intensity of feelings we have, it's very hard to fight that.

Bizarre. You don't want someone who actually chooses you? You don't want kids I assume? If his feelings were so intense for you he would leave his wife, especially with no kids and a short marriage. That's a no-brainer. We have been married 23 years and have 3 kids.

He chooses me everyday. I already have kids. He can't leave her, I understand that but you don't have to. I have no doubt at all about the intensity of his emotions. I don't need him to leave her, everything doesn't always fit into a neat little box that follows the typical narrative. Just saying, the intentions of strong emotions are powerful. You said he agreed to lessen the talking, that is not him agreeing to end it. Sounds to me like he maybe feels like he can't stand the idea of being without her.

Hon, he doesn't choose you every day. If he did you two would be together. You're so pathetic.

Your condescending use of "hon" is indication of how pathetic you are in your narrow minded bubble. I have no need to explain the details to you but I am fine, happy, definitely chosen by him everyday, and I have no desire to displace his wife at her expense, neither does he. Get over yourself.

Did your dad abandon you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your husband know that you are aware of his emotional affair OP??

Yes-- out in the open now. Maybe it wasn't quite an "affair" but was flirty and inappropriate and possibly heading that way.
He agreed to lessen the talking and focus on us. Like I said, we were on horribly shaky ground before this so we have some work to do.

The guy I am in an EA with told his wife that too and he did it to some degree. That hasn't changed the way we feel about each other or the extent of our interaction except in minor ways. His marriage is also on very shaky ground but he doesn't want to intentionally hurt her. I'm just telling you this so you know that him saying that doesn't necessarily mean a whole hell of a lot. I actually knew him before she did and our emotions aren't going anywhere.

Are you also married? How long has he been? Any kids? What is your goal with this? Only so much I can do I guess. If he leaves me he leaves me, so be it. I am not going to beg. His EA person is single and extremely attention seeking (at least on social)

I am not married, he's been married five years, they don't have kids together, I have no goal, I just love him and he loves me and that's it. Not physical but pretty close to it. He is very torn between his feelings and his commitment to his marriage. I respect that but I don't want to lose him. I hope your husband does not have the intensity of feelings we have, it's very hard to fight that.

Bizarre. You don't want someone who actually chooses you? You don't want kids I assume? If his feelings were so intense for you he would leave his wife, especially with no kids and a short marriage. That's a no-brainer. We have been married 23 years and have 3 kids.

He chooses me everyday. I already have kids. He can't leave her, I understand that but you don't have to. I have no doubt at all about the intensity of his emotions. I don't need him to leave her, everything doesn't always fit into a neat little box that follows the typical narrative. Just saying, the intentions of strong emotions are powerful. You said he agreed to lessen the talking, that is not him agreeing to end it. Sounds to me like he maybe feels like he can't stand the idea of being without her.

It sounds like that’s what you want to think because that’s what you want to think about your Cheater

[Anonymous]

He chooses me everyday. I already have kids. He can't leave her, I understand that but you don't have to. I have no doubt at all about the intensity of his emotions. I don't need him to leave her, everything doesn't always fit into a neat little box that follows the typical narrative. Just saying, the intentions of strong emotions are powerful. You said he agreed to lessen the talking, that is not him agreeing to end it. Sounds to me like he maybe feels like he can't stand the idea of being without her.

You REALLY REALLY need therapy. Your posts are full of ridiculous rationalizations that no stable adult would actually believe.

[Anonymous]

You picked a scumbag. Overtly texting with a trashy 30-something is not a gray area, not at all like the deep work friendships that sometimes start sliding on a slippery slope. This guy is worse than 99% of the men on DCUM.