I thought men didn’t care how much women make..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH works in IB with a salary + bonus of around 4M/year, and he does not care about how much I make. FWIW, my salary is $0 because I am an artist, and I have not made any money in the past ten years. My DH is a true alpha.

I worked in IB for decades and you're a troll.

You obviously know nothing about how finance or IB work. My DH's best friend is a CEO of a financial non-profit and his salary is 3.9M/yr. Yes, a non-profit. He could make ten times that in the IB world. FWIW, the CFO of the same non-profit makes around 2M/yr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH works in IB with a salary + bonus of around 4M/year, and he does not care about how much I make. FWIW, my salary is $0 because I am an artist, and I have not made any money in the past ten years. My DH is a true alpha.

I worked in IB for decades and you're a troll.

You obviously know nothing about how finance or IB work. My DH's best friend is a CEO of a financial non-profit and his salary is 3.9M/yr. Yes, a non-profit. He could make ten times that in the IB world. FWIW, the CFO of the same non-profit makes around 2M/yr.

This is hilarious - Sloan graduate, Lehman's veteran. When housewives talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

Associative mating is about intelligence.

I know so many ivy league women/women with lots of grad degrees who married ivy league men and now are stay at home moms with hobbies or very small businesses or PT jobs.

I'm in my 40s now but my husband absolutely did not care about my income. I worked before we had kids and now I do the kids stuff and work PT. He still doesn't care. Both 99th percentile people at students and our intellectual connection is there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

Associative mating is about intelligence.

I know so many ivy league women/women with lots of grad degrees who married ivy league men and now are stay at home moms with hobbies or very small businesses or PT jobs.

I'm in my 40s now but my husband absolutely did not care about my income. I worked before we had kids and now I do the kids stuff and work PT. He still doesn't care. Both 99th percentile people at students and our intellectual connection is there.

Interesting. I have good friends who are SAHMs of the variety you describe (high achievers in school, grad degrees, ended up staying home in a comfortable UMC or UC lifestyle). The one thing they seem to have in common is that they feel like their intellectual connections with their husbands are gone. Maybe because their worlds have diverged so much.

I work and bring in about 40% of the HHI. I also feel that the intellectual connection with my husband is not as strong as it used to be. We don’t really talk about books or interesting paper or similar much anymore. The times it picks up is when he asks for my thoughts on my field of expertise and how he is thinking of deploying in his company (tech stuff). Then we can go for weeks deep diving on things and I feel like the conversations we had while dating.

[Anonymous]

My social circle is full of well educated, high earning men and all of them (including my DH) met their wives in college, grad school, or first jobs. Some of the wives choose to work and some don’t.

If you want to marry one of these men you have to be their peer when they’re still single. This is often (but not always in the case of family money), before they start making the big bucks.

Once they’re making the big bucks they’re either already married or they’re players who don’t want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

Associative mating is about intelligence.

I know so many ivy league women/women with lots of grad degrees who married ivy league men and now are stay at home moms with hobbies or very small businesses or PT jobs.

I'm in my 40s now but my husband absolutely did not care about my income. I worked before we had kids and now I do the kids stuff and work PT. He still doesn't care. Both 99th percentile people at students and our intellectual connection is there.

💯

Hbs alumnae stay at home more often than lower tier mba alumnae

There has been studies on this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most guys are realistic and know they probably won’t be able to attract a good looking woman who ALSO makes big $$$ so they pick one, and usually they end up going for looks and youth over money.

A dude making 500k would rather date a hot chick earning 50k than an uglier/older woman who matches his income.

Older doesn't mean uglier fyi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most guys are realistic and know they probably won’t be able to attract a good looking woman who ALSO makes big $$$ so they pick one, and usually they end up going for looks and youth over money.

A dude making 500k would rather date a hot chick earning 50k than an uglier/older woman who matches his income.

Older doesn't mean uglier fyi

Older, most of the times, does mean uglier. I’ll take Jessica Alba at 23 over the same Jessica Alba at the age of 43.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

Eh, I think men either want an equal partner or someone so hot it doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most guys are realistic and know they probably won’t be able to attract a good looking woman who ALSO makes big $$$ so they pick one, and usually they end up going for looks and youth over money.

A dude making 500k would rather date a hot chick earning 50k than an uglier/older woman who matches his income.

Older doesn't mean uglier fyi

Older, most of the times, does mean uglier. I’ll take Jessica Alba at 23 over the same Jessica Alba at the age of 43.

Would you take Jessica Alba at 43 over an average American woman at 23? That’s the choice you have to make in real life. Women who are attractive marry earlier, stay in marriages longer, and the only chance to get them single again is post divorces wave in late 30s-40s

[Anonymous]

Every SAHM on DCUM is one by choice not by circumstance or inability to find a job or inability to find a job with a meaningful salary. Very important to remember this indisputable fact when posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought men didn’t care about a woman’s income but I ran across a man who does. I went on several dates with a guy. Our last date he asked me how much I made. After telling him, he told me he usually dates women who earn more than I do and needs a partner who can keep up with his lifestyle. Another date simply asked how much I made and said he required a certain level of income. I ended the date and left. I don’t make a huge amount compared to dc standards but I do well. I’m shocked because I was always under the assumption that most men don’t care about income as long as there is attraction and good sex.

Those days are long gone.. Blame women's lib.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

The rich law partner never married the lower class secretary or waitress. What was common was the partner marrying a nice girl who was working for a few years as a secretary or teacher or similar but who came from an indisputably nice family and everyone understood it was just something you did for a few years until you met a nice man and got married. This was the 1950s-1960s model for upper middle class America.

And law partners didn't make that much money back then either. Still nicely off but nothing like today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought men didn’t care about a woman’s income but I ran across a man who does. I went on several dates with a guy. Our last date he asked me how much I made. After telling him, he told me he usually dates women who earn more than I do and needs a partner who can keep up with his lifestyle. Another date simply asked how much I made and said he required a certain level of income. I ended the date and left. I don’t make a huge amount compared to dc standards but I do well. I’m shocked because I was always under the assumption that most men don’t care about income as long as there is attraction and good sex.

Those days are long gone.. Blame women's lib.

Blame yourself for not making enough money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most guys are realistic and know they probably won’t be able to attract a good looking woman who ALSO makes big $$$ so they pick one, and usually they end up going for looks and youth over money.

A dude making 500k would rather date a hot chick earning 50k than an uglier/older woman who matches his income.

Older doesn't mean uglier fyi

Older, most of the times, does mean uglier. I’ll take Jessica Alba at 23 over the same Jessica Alba at the age of 43.

Relax! Jessica Alba is unlikely to take you at even 63.