I thought men didn’t care how much women make..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH works in IB with a salary + bonus of around 4M/year, and he does not care about how much I make. FWIW, my salary is $0 because I am an artist, and I have not made any money in the past ten years. My DH is a true alpha.

I worked in IB for decades and you're a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

I'm a woman, but who wouldn't want a wife with a pedigree - think a big trust fund, family vacation homes, club memberships, and access to upper-echelon people? She could easily be a self-sustaining SAHM, and you could focus on your car (or leisure). Such a woman is a unicorn and will mate with another unicorn!

[Anonymous]

I think most guys are realistic and know they probably won’t be able to attract a good looking woman who ALSO makes big $$$ so they pick one, and usually they end up going for looks and youth over money.

A dude making 500k would rather date a hot chick earning 50k than an uglier/older woman who matches his income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

This is us and it was purely accidental. We both attended an ivy before it was need blind and our families are very comfortable. However, we both work and don't have performative jobs. The vast majority of us can't touch the principal and we want our children to be able to also have choices. I think the middle class has a very glamorized and unrealistic view of the lifestyle of the "wealthy". It's very easy to burn through a significant inheritance, it only takes around 3 generations of art gallery jobs.

[Anonymous]

You're still young and you're dating guys who are picky and who probably get lots of interest from women. My brothers were like this and had almost too many choices.They may not even marry until 35 or older because they can have a variety and they like that. You need to attract someone different. I don't know what you need to do differently but change your profile or pick different men. You're going to meet someone. Dating people you're not compatible with can be part of the process and learning about what you want is also part of the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich men do not care. Average guys do.

You are so wrong ! I dated rich (20m+ NW) and uber rich (probably a billionaire). It was very important for them that I was a “full package” . The under rich was lovingly calling me a “sl…t of substance”.

You are right. PP was wrong. It is not about rich men vs. poor men. It is about alpha vs. beta men. Many rich men are not the alpha type.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s gross if men OR women care about their partner’s income within reason. No wonder you all are miserable wannabes stressed about handbags and private school tuition. What an awful life to place those values above all else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich men do not care. Average guys do.

You are so wrong ! I dated rich (20m+ NW) and uber rich (probably a billionaire). It was very important for them that I was a “full package” . The under rich was lovingly calling me a “sl…t of substance”.

You are right. PP was wrong. It is not about rich men vs. poor men. It is about alpha vs. beta men. Many rich men are not the alpha type.

He was very alpha if he’s not then I don’t know who is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree?

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone.

I agree with associative mating but disagree with the bold. Plenty of high income men are happy to marry teachers, nurses, lower level office workers, etc. and plenty are still happy for those women to be SAHMs. Now, they still have to meet in the first place, which is where a bit of the associative mating comes in. I come from a very blue collar background but I'm smart and I met my DH at a state flagship college. He grew up UMC and then went to law school after college. I'm attractive and have a good personality, but I didn't go to a fancy K-12 school or belong to a country club, was not well-traveled and didn't have any upper class hobbies. In fact had student loans.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they care and have for decades. Men are most likely to have serious relationships with equal earners or close to it. Long gone are the days where they would just marry anybody.

My ex ex-husband had $100,000 income requirement for a potential wife 20 years ago. I am late 40s now and divorced.

[Anonymous]

You are making great money for 27! What do you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they care and have for decades. Men are most likely to have serious relationships with equal earners or close to it. Long gone are the days where they would just marry anybody.

My ex ex-husband had $100,000 income requirement for a potential wife 20 years ago. I am late 40s now and divorced.

Long gone the times when women are easily committing to marriages with equal earners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men.

I'm a woman, but who wouldn't want a wife with a pedigree - think a big trust fund, family vacation homes, club memberships, and access to upper-echelon people? She could easily be a self-sustaining SAHM, and you could focus on your car (or leisure). Such a woman is a unicorn and will mate with another unicorn!

Guess what? You will lose all that in a divorce, since none of it is marital property. And your “self-sustaining SAHM” will waltz away with half your pension and 401K, since she had none of her own due to not earning wages. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On our second date, my husband asked me if I planned on having a big career. I said I wasn't sure, watching the women at work around me working long hours. I was having my doubts if that's what I wanted. He offered me an engagement ring six months later. We've been married for 30 years. I've never had to work unless I wanted to. I worked for some years, and then became a SAHM. Now retired. I manage my stock portfolio online, and do my own thing. I have no regrets. You ladies can work for the man, I'll take care of my man.

What a strange way of putting it. Like the ring is more important than the invitation to spend the rest of your life together.